5 years ago he was caught, had another girlfriend for 1 1/2 years. says he didn't know how to break up with her (long distance thing). i forgave him. recently, i found out that he has several girls he's only 'friends with' that i've never heard of before. apparently they have gone out on different occasions when we have been on the outs. if they're only friends, why don't i know them. i know all his guy friends, why would he hide these other friends from me? potential booty calls? or emotional cheating? or maybe because of his past with the long-distance g/f, he thinks i wouldn't be able to handle him having female friends. i'm suspicious because he's hidden them from me and after calling a few of them, they didn't know he had a g/f. help! this guy is now talking marriage and i don't want to ruin my life with someone who thinks I'm a push-over.
2006-09-18 03:52:39 · 13 answers · asked by lori a 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Personally, I don't think I could marry they guy. You already have issues trusting him and he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong. Just because he's talking marriage doesn't mean he'll change. In a relationship you have to set your boundaries so that you partner knows what you will and will not take. If the issue of him cheating and not being truthful about female friends is an issue of concern you have to make him understand its all or nothing - you won't tolerate it and that's that!
2006-09-18 04:00:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but if he isn't telling these girls about you, he is trying to have you and someone waiting on the side (them)
I am not saying that he couldn't learn from cheating, and not do it again, because some people do truely learn from their mistakes... but what if his mistake was getting caught?
i wouldn't stay with him unless you truely like getting hurt and like being in an emotional rollercoaster.
Just the fact that they didn't know that he even has a g/f is a big tip off.
Sorry girl, but my advice is get rid of him before you end up hurt even more
2006-09-18 04:00:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you shouldn't rush into anything with your boyfriend, marriage is such a big commitment, and if your having doubts about whether he can be trusted he might be picking up on it so thinks marriage is the way to divert your attention so you forget about it.
If these women are just friends why don't they know about you, that's something you talk about with friends (relationships).
Have a talk with him and ask him what he wants if he wants to date other women he should let you know, you have a life to live too.
Plus if he's not the one, then the person who is, is out there looking for you :-)
Keep your head up, don't be taken for a ride you don't deserve that ask him where you stand so you can get on with your life and start having fun!!!
2006-09-18 04:08:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
VERY likely! I dated a guy who cheated on me, kept saying he'd never do it again, blah blah blah. Then he dropped out of school for no reason, refused to call me or take my calls. Then when I asked his cousin, he said, "Oh didn't you know? His wife's pregnant."
He'd been married for four months and with me (that time around) for two. I about DIED!!! Cheaters never learn... I'd give 'em one chance, after that they're history.
2006-09-18 03:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by serena_dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*The best prediction of future behavior is past behavior.
I personally know this for a fact. If a man is a cheater it takes a pretty big life awakening moment to change him. My ex-husband didn't have one of those moments.
2006-09-18 03:57:10 · answer #5 · answered by Buff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheaters always cheat again. Get yourself a man that isn't a cheater.
2006-09-18 03:55:38 · answer #6 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u really love him, and u think u wanna marry him, be engaged for as long as possible and make sure to confront him about these 'friends'. give him the opportunity to explain, if u don't believe him then u shouldnt marry him. good luck.
2006-09-18 03:59:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have to call him on it in a fair way, ask him why and what is missing, nothing wrong with gal pals but a little odd if they don't know about you in some way
2006-09-18 03:57:46 · answer #8 · answered by JoeP 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is avoidinghis frenz,bcaz they r not gud ones?,may b he is just frenz with other gurls n if he says 2 u ,u may not like so he didnt say?...plz dont take my advice nor anybody ......bcaz no one saw the situaTION XCTLY....SO U ONLY DECIDE WAT U HAV TO DO?,NO 1 CAN KNOW U BETTER THAN URSLF,,I JUST SAID THE PHRASE WHICH CAN ALSO B THER........OK DEAR
2006-09-18 04:03:07 · answer #9 · answered by unlucky hand 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its up to you he might had cheat on you with those women before. you can dump him, or you can trust him little by little until he earns your whole trust, or you can talk to him about those other women.
2006-09-18 03:59:26 · answer #10 · answered by party_2_hearty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋