I don't know what to do , I love him we shared many happy days, he never showed me any disrespect. He lived a double life this girl was young, he told her that we were having problems in our marriage that he was going to leave me, when he had no intensions of doing. she waited for two and a half years until she finally realize that he was not leaving me. They had a child he was there for the birth, he gave her his last name. he provided for her until he couldn't do any more, then she took him to child suport and it came to my house and i opened it on the day of my birthday abd question him while he was at work and he didn't denie any of it. It was devestating and i went a way only because it was planed before i found this out. Please i just need some one to help me get through this. Some times it's hard to talk to people that you know because the don't always give you the best advice. I'm saved, married and have one child from him. And it's not because he doesn't love me.
2006-09-18 03:46:08 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its Perfectly natural to have mixed feelings!!
When in a relationship you want to believe you are the only one.
The best thing to do is remain strong and if you are still together you need to let him know that he has to be honest with everything from now on no more secrets no more lies.
And the same for you be completely and brutally honest with each other.
Its hard, I know I have been with my wife 15 years and about a year ago I found out she had feelings for someone else and that while they weren’t sleeping together they were having little secret meetings making out and little things. I found out by way of a letter that he wrote her just a few days before Christmas of last year. I was crushed but I blamed myself some what because of how things had been prior to that so I handed her my wedding band and told her that she had to make a choice. Even if she didn’t leave me for him she still had to make that wanting to stay with me and work through it. And we have it has been a great year with some rather brutal truths but I have come to respect her much more. Regardless of how much it hurts at the time.
So be brutally honest about how you feel with him and make him do the same and if anything you can grow to respect each other for the truths than the secrets and lies that surface later on. Forgiveness is a good start. make him earn your trust again.
2006-09-18 04:10:27 · answer #1 · answered by 4mika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are shouldering a rather large amount of grief. I think that you might be trying to shoulder too much of the blame.
Marriage is two way street. Neither partner is innocent in the end. The Union is not about what one does does to please the other. It is about how you learn to accept the differences and adapt to the changes that you face.
OK, the girl was young (naive) What was his excuse?
Let's talk about you. Or not. You set the tone of the discussion. If you want to. You should. You are obviously a supportive person, you are able to express empathy. But, maybe it doesn't matter...
The above may seem scattered but it might truley represent what you are experiencing.
You are capable of seeing through the charade. You are considering whether or not being blind to the situation will salvage something you value. Never, dear lady, question or underestimate your own value.
2006-09-18 05:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by buggeredmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You have a lot to deal with. I know this is going to be tough for you to get through, but experiences in life happen for a reason. The best way I've found to get through tough times is by making yourself busy. Dive into work, go for walks, take little trips with your child, visit friends, clean your home, read (it gets you into a different place), join a gym (it strenghtens mind as well as body). Maybe some counselling would be good as well. Talk to your doctor, he should be able to recommend a good counsellor. Know that you are a better person than him, that you don't want to be with someone who doesn't love you as much as you love them or the way you want to be loved. Cheating and hiding things are not honesty and, honesty and trust are the building blocks of a loving, lasting relationship. Good luck and keep your head up.
2006-09-18 04:12:35 · answer #3 · answered by lori a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR YOU, OR MORALES, HE ALSO HAS COMMITMENT ISSUES. IF THIS IS THE KIND OF MAN YOU DREAMED OF BEING MARRIED TO, WELL YOU GOT HIM.
GET SOME SELF ESTEEM, AND ASK YOURSELF, WHY DO I SETTLE FOR 1/2 OF A RELATIONSHIP?
SOMEBODY THAT LOVES YOU, DOES NOT CHEAT ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-18 03:53:21 · answer #4 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u r right you will got the support and you can go ahead, if not, you have to stop some where..
2006-09-18 03:55:27 · answer #5 · answered by Cfu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋