Yes. I have never cheated, nor has my husband. We have been together 10 years now. We made a pact, if either of us ever thinks of cheating, we will vocalize it and either break up or get counseling, but never, ever cheat.
2006-09-18 10:58:54
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answer #3
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answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7
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Yes there is. However in this day and age cheating is defined by different people in different ways.
Some people say that cheating is only cheating is you have actual sex with someone you arent married to, live with, in a commited relationship.. so on and so forth.
Some people define cheating as just being with someone no sex, if you are spending more time with that other someone than you are your partner, never mind if you arent have sex with him or her, you arent spending your time with your parnter.
http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/marital-infidelity.htm
The reasons for marital infidelity are as many and as varied as the people involved. Emily M. Brown, LCSW, Director of Key Bridge Therapy and Mediation Center, has categorized the reasons for extramarital affairs as follows: conflict avoidance, intimacy avoidance, sexual addiction, split self, and exit. Many of the reasons outlined here fit into one or more of these categories.
Interestingly, marital affairs are not always a sign of a troubled marriage. Some spouses succumb to the lure of an extramarital relationship as the result of experiencing abnormal stress over a normal lifestyle change, such as becoming a parent or an empty nester. So adultery can occur in happy marriages as well as unhappy ones. In some cases, the marriage partners may appear contented to outsiders, but the husband or wife begins an affair because of their own low self-esteem, habitual conflict avoidance, or fear of intimacy. The faithful spouse has worked hard for the marriage; but no matter how hard they work, the unfaithful spouse is going to have an affair because of their own deficiencies. Other reasons for marital infidelity are typically symptomatic of an unhealthy, and often, failing marriage. These are things like the lack of affection between the marriage partners, the sexual addiction of one or both spouses, the feelings of sexual entitlement based on gender or status, and the means of exiting from an unhappy marriage.
http://www.gregswensonphd.com/infidelity.htm#3
Infidelity occurs whenever a person engages in a relationship with another that violates these characteristics of marriage. This happens when the new relationship results in a breakdown of trust; develops intimacy with another that belongs in the marriage; when experiences are shared with the new person that become more important than the shared experiences in the marriage. Infidelity can occur without sex. Simply stated, marriage is a commitment to seek mutual fulfillment, to make your own satisfaction contingent on your spouse’s. The first steps taken when infidelity occurs are 1) to decide to seek fulfillment through someone else and, 2) to decide to do this secretly. In a sense, whatever a person decides to give to a new partner outside the marriage is taken from his or her spouse: time, money, special experiences, confidences, or intimacies. A person might experience a similar sense of betrayal if their spouse becomes compulsively involved in alcohol, work, or various activities. In these cases, the element of secrecy is usually not as devastating, and there is not another person alienating the spouse from the marriage.
WHY PEOPLE CHEAT
What are some underlying symptoms of an unsatisfying love relationship?
We seek love relationships for a multitude of reasons -- comfort, protection, excitement, intellectual stimulation and the joy that gives our lives meaning and purpose. Unfortunately, for many of us, disappointment and discouragement begin to eventually take the place of happiness and fulfillment. Among the symptoms to watch for:
Loneliness – not feeling emotionally known, understood and valued by your partner
Inability to experience the joy of shared fun, joy and pleasure
Inability to experience intellectual stimulation – to feel enriched and challenged as a result of your relationship
Not feeling cared for in times of trouble – support and compassion are absent in times of need
What are some underlying causes of an unsatisfying love relationship?
Lack of trust – Very early emotional memories, even those that may not be remembered, profoundly shape beliefs and expectations, creating doubt about the safety, availability, and value of any love relationship.
Fear of commitment – Those with early memories of relationship characterized by physical or emotional pain or loneliness may understandably avoid love relationships later in life.
Jealousy and possessiveness – People with early life experiences that have made them insecure may be obsessively worried about their love relationships.
Inability to communicate needs – Those whose emotions have been ignored in the past often struggle to understand and articulate current needs.
Inability to support and understand your partner – Those whose early life experiences didn’t include support and understanding from their primary caretaker often don’t know how to be helpful to others though they may sincerely try.
Inability to resolve conflict – If argument or other expressions of conflict were experienced in childhood as an assault or a dead-end of communication, it is likely to remain a source of fear and dread, choking the life out of intimate love relationships.
If the above things are taken care of in a relationship, most likely the two people will not seek outside persons to take care of the needs within the relationship.
To find someone who will not cheat on his or her parnter, you have to understand the aspects and the reasons behind why people cheat. If you understand these things and can take care of them, then you and the person you are will will less likley cheat on the person you love.
2006-09-18 11:06:08
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answer #5
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answered by Shalamar Rue 4
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