i have been married for 6 months and I cant trust my husband what do I do?

Question

I am tortured by the past and it keeps resurfacing. the other night i dropped down the scroll bar on yahoo and saw (Adult friend Finder). I woke him up to simply ask.."do you have a profile on here?" he said "No" so i typed in his email address while he was sleeping and it said your password has been sent to your email... so i caught him lying about that.he says he hasnt been on it since we had gotten back together a.the thing is i am discusted and embarrased that the man that i married wrote **** in his profile that said,

"Im a easy going, genuine guy with sexual desires that need fulfilled. i love meeting new people, travelling to new places, but as im stuck here for a while, so a little fun isnt too much to ask, is it?
iv'e had a lot of relationships that went nowhere, mainly cause i felt no sexual attraction, so i want to see what iv'e been missing.
Im looking for someone open minded and who knows what they want.sex is what im looking for, but if anything did come .

Any advice?

Answer 1

You two need counseling, trust is very important in a good marriage.

Answer 2

Try to put yourself in his shoes. Is there something missing from your side? Maybe he is not getting enough attention from you, sexually I mean. So try to innovate new ideas. As a man, my opinion is, women always try to make sex look like it is only needed by the man, and the women do not enjoy it at all. So, make it look like you are a part in it too and it is for you too.
The other thing is creating a profile on Adultfriendfinder is really not a big thing, it could be just a curiosity to see whether someone gets interested in him. If he gets indulged in a relationship then it is harmful.
Marriage is a big thing, you cannot just quit from a relationship. It may be an habit with him before marriage, and may take some time for him to change...it is also on you now to change him with your love and care.
If you are really going to take hard decisions, then I would suggest that you employ a private detective and investigate before really going out of his life.

Answer 3

Honey, as much as it's going to hurt, I think it's time to realize this man has checked out of this relationship emotionally. And lying on top of it. Nobody writes things like that honey without the intention of cheating. If you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, go back to your computer and check the history for the last week. It'll let you know every site that has been visited on that computer. Then, you'll have a better understanding as to where you stand and make a sound judgement on what you are going to do about it.

Answer 4

This is a tricky one.
Have you actually sat down at the computer and showed him that you know that he does have a profile- and that you have actually read it !! I think that is something you need to do... I would feel embarrased too- or- why dont you sign up put a profile in to match what he's after, make the contact and see if he would follow it through!
I think that would answer any doubts you might have.I know this feeling, believe me and i really hope you can sort it out. x

Answer 5

I can only assume that you have married a serial cheater sometimes referred to as a "cake-man". For him I would suspect your marriage is a "convenience" relationship. He has you to take care of him, for example the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and to fulfill his sexual desires.

His profile clearly indicates he is looking for action, which means he as no respect for your relationship, the wedding vows, or your health as there are so many sexually transmitted diseases.

I have dealt with infidelity in my relationship (my wife had and affair with my ex best friend), we are still together. I won't recommend that you leave him, I won't recommend that you stay. That decision has to come from within you.

There are a couple of good infidelity support boards, you will meet a lot of good people dealing with infidelity issues and recovery. There is no cost to join the forums, and you identity remains anonymous.

www.network54.com/Index/32374 is "Affair Discovery and Recovery"

www.network54.com/Forum/233195 is "The Healing Heart"

If you decide to save your relationship he has to come clean, lying is worst thing that can happen in your marriage. It destroys trust and hope.

From what you have described, I would suspect he has been cheating on you since the start of your relationship. Only time will tell, only time will help you heal and recover from this betrayal of trust.

Answer 6

well another dumb male getting caught. Hey I thought Us men knew better.
Well, was this before you married that this was posted and did you notice any reply since mariage.

Sit this guy down and give him the what fors and whens.
If you have lost trust in him now, what will it be like in another 6 months or so? Evidently he thinks the grass on the other side of the fence is his also.
I would get some counseling and he also needs some.
Dont let it go on any longer. remember, your the one who will carry the hurt. I know my wife would have kicked me out the door fast. not kidding either.good luck hope we all can be of help to you.

Answer 7

tell him you found it but keep in mind people often lie to get 'friends' on the internet and he may have thought putting down in writing the real him would be too boring to get any replies,,have a real heart to heart because you are right to feel hurt and he cannot make you feel you shouldn't be,6 months isn't a long time so tell him you feel deceived and jealous,that you feel the rug has been pulled from under you and that you feel he lied about wanting to get married,,if he didn't want to marry you he shouldn't have ,,he had a choice and by making that choice he led you to believe he loved you and wanted you,,he needs to understand these things,,men speak and see things differently than we do and he may not have been after anyone to be with,,just someone who would answer his mail and get naked on screen,,bad you may think but if the two of you had broken up at the time he wont feel he did anything wrong,,men v women,,sometimes they dont meet in the middle.

Answer 8

My advice you better be staying on your toes.....cause he is looking and no he isnt going to tell you that either.and as soon as he can find a piece he will take it.App he isnt happy with you and you have only been married 6 months.He aint going to change only get worse ,look what he wrote (he is stuck for awhile)sounds like to me he is using you till tne next best thing comes along.If i was you id confront him and id show him what youfound on the computer and dont listen to any of his bull cause your going to hear all kinds of lies and bull s$$t reasons.But the main reason is he wants to cheat and he is looking for somene to cheat with.Get away from him cause he aint happy and according to him no one has made him happy so let him go before he gives you somthing like a std.Or leaves you when you least expect it.Good luck

Answer 9

if there is no trust in a relationsship then there is no relationship to keep. It sound like he is lying but before you accuse him and do something you may or maynot regret you need to find out for sure. If you are truly not happy maybe you can consider this marrage a learning experience and move on before anyone gets hurt. Follow your hear and your gut feeling they ususally are not wrong.

Answer 10

he's the only that opened this entire can of worms by potential of doing what he did. In doing so, he broke your have confidence in him. Now that is as much as him to earn it lower back if he expects something to ever bypass lower back to someplace on the factor to the place it as quickly as grow to be. area of earning that have confidence is answering questions positioned to him by potential of you approximately something and each thing. as quickly as he ducks a question he's making it worse for him via fact it sounds like a lie all over lower back and it does not something so a approaches as you construction faith lower back in him. next time do not beat around the bush, tell him if he expects to regain any have confidence from you he is going to would desire to be greater forth suited in his solutions. without being so, that he's utilizing yet another nail into the coffin of your marriage quite than being open for finished disclosure. what's happening is as much as him, and what does he prefer?

Answer 11

Slap him.. No I'm kidding.. If he's lying about something so small. I can just about imagine what else he's lying about. Your husband needs to get serious. Or I would just get rid of the computer... It's all about respect. And that's not what he's displaying. I wish you luck.