I am married but have feelings for another man and I can tell that this other man has feeling for me. I have decided that I can't interact with this other man anymore because these feelings I have are wrong and I don't want these feelings to go any further. Does anyone know how long it will take to get thoughts of this other man out of my head. It is really difficult because he is a married neighbour and my husband recently became couple friends with them. After knowing them for a couple of weeks I noticed there is chemistry between me and the husband (of the couple) and the other day, when we had a moment alone in the hall he tried to kiss me.
2006-09-18 02:33:56 · 16 answers · asked by applecheeks 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you for all your answers. I will just block him from my mind and stay away from him completely. Avoid him at all costs. If I do see them outside I'll put all my conversation towards his wife, who is really nice. And I'm going to spend extra time with my husband.
2006-09-18 02:47:05 · update #1
Get outta dodge fast, make sure you never have another moment alone again. your playing with fire
2006-09-18 02:37:14 · answer #1 · answered by janice28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Takes a while. It is wonderful that you have made the decision to get away from him.
Here are a couple suggestions to assist in getting him out of your mind.
1. If you think about him, change the subject in your mind. Think of anything else. Even your husband. But don't linger on the man at all.
2. Never have sex with him in your mind. It increases your attraction. Avoid it.
3. Tell you husband that you don't like the neighbors. Be non specific but just point out things about the couple you don't like.
4. Tell your husband that the man is looking at you too much and you feel uncomfortable. Hint that other people would be more fun to spend time with.
5. Remember that the man that hit on you...is a potential cheater. Afterall he has already tried. You would never love a cheater. He isn't the great man you think he is....so start thinking about other things that are wrong with him.
6. Remember that sex drive isn't love or a future. Remind yourself every time you are attracted. Sexual attraction passes. Love is forever.
Good luck. You will be over him soon. Avoid him at all costs.
2006-09-18 09:45:28 · answer #2 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the feelings were only on his side. I think you would be doing the right thing by saying just stay away from him and when thats not possible direct all the conversation towards his wife. However since you have feelings for this man your desire to stay away while noble is not realistic. You feel guilty and back away but then the feelings of guilt will fade and your desire for this man will probably return. I would suggest you get to the root of the problem if you were completely happy in your marriage there would be no room in your heart for feelings for the other man. Address the root of the problem if you can find it. Otherwise i think in the end the chemistry will win out.
Hope this helps and i wish you nothing but the best!!
2006-09-18 13:31:45 · answer #3 · answered by Tommy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not play with fire. If this guy is married and makes a play with another married woman, he is a player! This has all the elements of disaster. When you think of his charming exterior, snap a rubber band around your wrist and visualize him eating garbage out of the gutter, or slithering down the street like the snake that he is. STAY away from him and be greatful for the good sense that you are displaying. Those feelings will dissipate if you keep your good judgment in tact.
2006-09-18 09:41:57 · answer #4 · answered by Serendipity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no set time it will take to get over this or get him out of your mind. I am there too. It is very difficult but you have to try to distance yourself. Your heart will get over it if that is truly what you want. You need to follow your heart if it tells you to make your marrge work ..then do that and do not let anything stadn in your way. You deserve to be happy. If you want to forget about this other man you need time and space. Distance away from him and stay busy so you do not think about him. It sounds easier than it really is. Good Luck
2006-09-18 09:41:15 · answer #5 · answered by chick29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know just how you feel. Something like that happened to me. Here's the thing...It's so exciting when someone makes you feel attractive and wanted.. We long for those feelings to come out from our husbands, that when someone else treats us like goddesses we fall...but because we think with our hearts we fall and bust our faces (most of the time).. and even though you might like the feelings (I know I did) it would not be fair for your husband if you acted on it... You could still hang out with the couple just try not to be alone with that man...Good Luck...
2006-09-18 09:44:24 · answer #6 · answered by bellita_716 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like bad news. You should just think about how you would feel if you knew that your hubby was trying to hook up with his wife. It probably wouldn't feel too good to ya! Your feelings will wear off and when the newness of having this person pay you attention this way goes away, you'll realize how silly it all was. Don't risk your marriage for someone who is trying to cheat on his wife with you. It is a dead end street. Think about it. Good luck!!!
2006-09-18 09:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband what happened and the thoughts will leave you immediately................just pray that your life does not leave you. Its not ok to think about someone other than your spouse. This is cheating too. You cheated in your mind so that makes it wrong. Tell your husband and as he is throwing you out of the house you will not be thinking about the other man. You will be thinking, where am I going to live?
2006-09-18 09:43:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lusting after someone shouldn't take too long but love,,,,,it can take years,,,you just have to know the choice you made was the right one for you to keep the faith in your marriage,,if they are friends at some point your husband will come home and tell you something about this man that you consider,,,,'my god,,how could i feel like i did',,it will happen,,just ride it out.
2006-09-18 09:42:00 · answer #9 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop the fantasy, the grass is not greener on the other side. If you love your husband and concentrate on making him happy those feeling well go away immediately.
2006-09-18 09:39:26 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are making the right decission to stay away, just make sure you mean it when you say it....thats harder done than said, I know. It will fade though, just give yourself some time. Focus on your husband.
2006-09-18 09:40:56 · answer #11 · answered by sasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋