my husband is always yelling at me for not having eough money. he is always trying to get me to do other things to mke more, he is a truck driver and when he is broke he yells at me for it! i am a house wife who works part time and cleans the house, everyting in it cause he does nothing, and i find it to hard to work full time and clean and lookk after my daughteras i have a few medical things wrong with me, low blood suger and such. he no's this and always yells at me that i need to make more money, our bills are paid all the time, and i pay half of them. This moring he woke me up with his yelling again. i am at my wits end and i am thinking about leaving him, also he has a 300 a month habit, that he says is ok cause he makes the money, am i wrong to be tired of this?
2006-09-18 01:39:29 · 25 answers · asked by trish p 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am surprised that you have lasted 8 long years with him and tolerated his behaviour! The next time he shouts at you, give him an ultimatum. He either stops his abuse, or you leave him. If he wants you to earn more, he must help with the housework, thus giving you time to work in a full-time job.
It's about time you make him appreciate your situation and not be such a selfish bloke!
If he continues, then you have to carry out your threat.
2006-09-18 02:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong to be feeling this. First of all you cannot allow anyone, which includes your husband, to shame or degrade your role as a contributer in the family. Emotional abuse is behavior designed to control another person with fear, humiliation, and/or verbal assaults and that it what is sounds like your husband is doing. This includes verbal abuse or constant criticism and more subtle tactics such as intimidation and manipulation. It systematically erodes a person's self-confidence, self-worth, and trust in his or her own perceptions.
Emotional abuse is a form of blackmail. It can result in convincing the person that he or she is worthless, to the extent that she believes herself unworthy of love, care and support. Thus, the victim remains with the abusive partner, believing that no other partner would desire a relationship with him or her.
No one in this group can give you the exact answer you are looking for friend...you need to decide how and when you are going to accept that you are no longer willing to accept his verbal and emotional abuse. Every marriage has two stories and if you love each other, you need to think about maybe getting into some counseling togther. Regardless of the outcome, you must make sure he understands that you will NOT ALLOW him to treat you this way any longer.
Emotional Abuse Hotline: S.A.F.E.- 1-800-992-3039 or 1-800-598-3998
2006-09-18 01:50:55 · answer #2 · answered by lovemcss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. Take 1/2 of everything and all of the house and tell him to go find someone who makes more money. He's wrong to view his money as only his. I suppose you don't sign the yearly tax forms do you? If you do then that is because the gov.t recognizes your part in his earning a dime.
2006-09-18 02:04:07 · answer #3 · answered by AVA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong to be tired of this. You are being mentally abused. Just because he hasn't hit you doesn't mean he isn't causing abusive damage.
If your husband cannot appreciate you for the hard-working mother of his children, then kick him to the curb.
If you are pulling your weight and paying the bills, keeping house and taking care of the children, there is NO room for complaints. I wouldn't take any of that crap.
It sounds like the man is never satisfied. Chances are he will never be satisfied.
Get rid of that man. He is a pig-headed jerk.
2006-09-18 01:46:11 · answer #4 · answered by Elkie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've put up with it too long; you need a trial seperation first (consider your children), but if he can't clean himself up and get his act together, you need to leave him, and get a good child support order in the divorce. I bet another $300 a month in the family budget would really help. He's trucking down loser highway - try to detour him, or let him go over the cliff ... by himself.
2006-09-18 01:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by Tad Dubious 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your husband is blaming you for everything no matter how hard ur coping
try talking to a counsellor about this. only then can you solve this problem thoughly as counsellor ask you questions she/he needs to know to help you.
but for the moment... don't breakup just yet. you got ur daughters and it will be really hard to be a single mom... and you wouldn't wanna leave them alone with a dad who yells at them with no mom to defend them.
what you should do is try to talk to your husband about what he is doing to you... how you are feeling and why this has to stop. ask him to listen to you before cutting you off. ask him to listen to you to finish talking. then can he speak. try writing it down... to gather what you want to say. then present it to him in ur words so that you are more clear headed instead of talking to him without preparing.
if he's usually moody... try talking to him when he's in happier mood. or you could go to marriage counselling.
only leave a marriage when you think that the cost is too great than the benefit. but you need to consider this deeply as it can have great consequences on ur daughters and ur future.
2006-09-18 01:51:14 · answer #6 · answered by Spidergurl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer and God willing, you have your bags packed! YOu cannot reason with an addict or any kind, so don't try. An addict will take everyone down with them without remorse. So bail out while you can. If you're going to have to work, make the work for you and the kids, not to go up his nose. Godloveya.
2006-09-18 01:48:44 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. You and your children will be much better off on your own. If you stay with him I'll bet he will leave you sooner or later anyway. People like that just think about themselves. Get some public assistance and try to go back to school so you can get a better job with some benefits.
2006-09-18 01:46:10 · answer #8 · answered by vbryant52 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you should not be ok with him treating you like this. $300 a month is a ridiculous habit! You are raising his children. who cares if he makes more money! You have the hardest job of all! You should try counseling or leave him
2006-09-18 01:44:03 · answer #9 · answered by malorieks 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband that he is the one who should make more money , and also let him know that women are not to make high dollar its the men job , also tell him to cut back on his $300.00 a month habit and he shall not be broke . you know yelling back at him will do you no dang good so you should just let him know sit their and stew in his own pot and leave for the night good luck with all that you do . and watch out for your health you don't need to be getting sick
2006-09-18 01:49:29 · answer #10 · answered by Libra 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋