What do you think?

Question

i don't care if you don't like it, lol i would like some CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISMS


Colors of orange and brown

Are all around.

Leafless are the trees,

The autumn colors of the leaves twirl in the air

As the wind circles through the sky.

Hums of the birds are heard,

The whistle of the wind echoes

As the trees rustle their branches,

The crisp scents of apricots fill the heavens

Colors of orange and brown are all around,

Fall has come for everyone!

Answer 1

Hmm okay but not great. To make it more interesting try using some metaphors and imagery. But keep the wording simple - if you'd put 'the trees are bare' in line three you would have been able to rhyme better.

Answer 2

I think it's wonderful..I live in the South where Fall is a joyful and loved time of year...I have many trees on my land and I look so forward to the fall every year... I also look forward to the spring when the leaves grow back and the birds build their nests and sing...great poem and thanks for sharing....

Answer 3

IT HAS A RING OF AUTUMN TO IT. A GOOD BEGINNING IN POETRY. MIGHT TRY SOME OTHER COLORS AT THE END SUCH AS RED AND GOLD TO GET THE FULLNESS OF THE AUTUMN COLORS.

Answer 4

I like it. I don't feel qualified to offer criticisms but then I am not really into analyzing writing. I go more by how it moves me.

Answer 5

If you wrote it ,I'd say it's a darn good effort not many can succeed in writing such things!!!!!

Answer 6

ur talented....... i got some emails my ex sent me and id love to share some of them with you..(shes good too)....and id love to read more of ur stuff...

u can contact me at :- [e-mail]

Answer 7

i Think its pretty good, I couldnt come up with something like that.

Answer 8

very nice