Ater 12 yrs of just seeing him on weekends my stepson is moving in, I have issues. I'm even considering leaving. He's 20 and I don't approve of his way of living, very different than the rest of us. I feel totally ignored and overlooked! I love my DH but I feel like a stranger in my own house!
2006-09-17 23:47:44 · 7 answers · asked by Atomin 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lisa, I should add, for my DH that boy is SACRED and untouchable. (Complex of guilt of having "left" him - actually he's been an exceptionally present parent). The boy is studying at university and left his mother's home because she got herself a new man who lives there and the boy doesn't like him. The point is, she gets to do no work at all while I have to cook, laundry, iron etc. for five!! Among other issues, like the boy practically not speaking to me, going out all nightand returning in the am, sleeping all day, and my own son needs his room and can't use it b'cause the other boy is sleeping all day.
2006-09-18 00:01:09 · update #1
Flagger, as I said, he sleeps all day, and my son can't use his room, plus he doesn't speak with me, he whispers to his dad when I'm around, he doesn't tidy up, everbody but hims puts their dishes in the dishwasher, every single day he fills the hamper with his clothes, etc, he occasionally wrecks our car and guess who has to pay... Apart that I have nothing against him.
2006-09-18 02:13:30 · update #2
Right now I don't feel like a b itchy step mother, but more like the maid.
2006-09-18 02:15:58 · update #3
I am in the same situation. My step son is living with us in Kentucky and he is from England. His mother kicked him out because she could'nt handle him. He has no respect for anyone in this house but let me tell you, this house belongs to his father and myself and I will not and do not tolerate his sort of behaviour. You need to take control. Set rules, if he does not abide by them (like the rest of the family) well then he has no place in your house. You need to let the father know what you are doing and he has to back you up. Good luck...tons of luck.
2006-09-18 00:21:20 · answer #1 · answered by Val 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So OKAY, The boy does not like his mother's new BF. Understandable. What about his lifestyle don't you like? Does he bring drugs in? How about girls? Is it that he does not clean? What? Your problem is not with the boy. Deal with the real problem. The rules in my house is if you are in school, that is your job. You are not in school pay rent somewhere. If you ask the boy to live elsewhere guess who pays the rent. You do.
Set some ground rules but realize that you cannot win a fight with the son. Make this a battle and guess what, you lose again. Figure out a way to make it work for a while. You might get a little more cooperation when you start acting like an adult toward him instead of the bi itchy stepmother.
2006-09-18 07:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He should not be moving in. Your husband should respect that. Tell him that if he won't respect or value your feelings on this issue then it's either the kid or you.
Since that kid is an adult, he has no reason to be moving in and living off of his dad. He should be on his own.
If your husband picks the adult child over you then you know what kind of man he is. You are not being selfish.... maybe a little bit, but your husband should have YOUR feelings at the top of his priorities, not his adult kid's feelings.
Talk to your DH about this, help him understand this. Ask him how he'd fill if the tables were turned. And especially share your feelings with him. He needs to know the truth about this.
Good luck
2006-09-18 06:54:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband. Regardless if he has him on a pedestal, if that child is 20 and moving in, he needs to respect the rules of the household already in place. It's time he learns to take care of himself and learn valuable lessons that will help him in his everyday life or he will live with you guys forever to be 'taken care of'....
2006-09-18 07:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by bluez 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is 20 years old he needs to get out on his own. I would definatly not be waiting on him. Make him take care of his own **** such as laundry cooking what not. Hes an adult make him do things for himself.
2006-09-18 11:03:59 · answer #5 · answered by babygirl_k2001 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down you have the right to say no in your own home
2006-09-18 07:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by freeatlastboone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
throw him out
2006-09-18 07:06:57 · answer #7 · answered by Ice Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋