I feel very close to John, even am starting to feel like I love him, but the main problem is I am ashamed to be seen with him, and also I find other men more attractive than him all the time. He is alot shorter than me, and older. He's not exactly perfect personality wise either and tends to bore me as he talks about himself all the time and never asks me about myself, but I do really care about him alot. He has loads of good points too. When I've tried to dump him, it does break my heart. What should I do?
2006-09-17 23:23:48 · 29 answers · asked by banana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
dump him
stay friends
By pretending you are happy in a relationship with him is wrong to yourself and very unfair to him....cut him loose so he can find someone who really loves him.
2006-09-17 23:26:02 · answer #1 · answered by miatalise12560 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
reading your question it doesn't sound as though he has a lot going for him and there doesn't seem to be a lot about him you like. I always found the best thing to do is to draw up 2 lists one column the 'likes' and the 'dislikes' if the dislike column out numbers the likes you have your answer. I'm sorry but if your embarrassed by him and all the other niggly things it will never change. DON'T stay with him because you don't want to hurt him etc the longer you put it off the worse it'll be. Why don't you talk to him and say that although there is no future for the 2 of you you want to be friends. Your a long time dead do not waste precious years on things you know you don't want. good luck.
2006-09-18 07:16:21 · answer #2 · answered by CAROL B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what makes you happy. In a relationship, your happiness comes first. I have made this mistake quite a few times, where I was more worried about the other person than how I was feeling. Ultimately, a relationship went on that should have ended, but I never got the courage to do it. My happiness went completely downhill. It got to a point where I thought I would never be happy. I knew then that the only way to get myself out of this was to end it. Yes, it was the horriblest time ever, but I did get over it. You will not believe the relief you will feel afterwards. If you can remain friends then thats fine.
2006-09-18 06:43:26 · answer #3 · answered by Donna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say you have yourself on a pedistal!! You aren't really looking for a relationship...you're just wanting someone to hang out with and do things with. sounds like JOHN is your doormat friend. You're shallow enough to hang out with John but are embarrased to be seen with him!! ....John really in all honesty should be dumping YOU. You're not a very nice friend...and leading this poor man on with the hopes that you might give him the time of day is not only cruel but down right mean!
2006-09-18 06:51:32 · answer #4 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me you just feel sorry for him. Rule 1 - always make sure your happy before making sure others are. I should know - its very nice to know everyone else is happy - but if your not - then you start asking questions like the above. There is someone out there for everyone - John doesn't sound like he's the right one for you and your stopping him from finding his perfect partner too by carrying on.
2006-09-18 07:21:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you care about a man who bores you? If this annoys you now think about later in the relationship?? The other things about him being smaller etc are a bit shallow, but if you don't like his basic personality then dump him baby you could do better.
2006-09-18 06:40:09 · answer #6 · answered by Nobody200 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U want to dump him because you are ashamed to be seen with him? But when you try to dump him, it breaks ur heart? There's only one way to solve this problem...call John and tell him that you need some time and space....then, find a time to sit and relax...think bout him....how does he make you happy? Is being with him worth it? will you be sad if he leaves you? will you be happier with some other guy? we can't answer these questions 4u...only you can...if you find that you can't live without him, then forget your idea and give yourself some time to be with him...if you find that you can find some other better guy and this guy is not worth it, then you should call it quits and dump him
i hope this helps...
good luck!!!
2006-09-18 06:34:34 · answer #7 · answered by cuteangel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
keep being friends with him. Maybe it could develop into a relationship with time. I'll like you to remember its very difficult to find "the perfect man". Every guy has its good sides and his bad sides, One of his just happens to be his height. What are the things you want in a guy? If he has up to 80% you could consider him.
All the best gurl!
2006-09-18 08:49:05 · answer #8 · answered by Gentlehero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you do like this guy but I dont think you could be in love with him if you are ashamed to be seen with him, when your in love you wanna show the world the person who is making you happy. Maybe you would just be good as friends..? Ormaybe you should just stay by him for a while and see if things changed...?
2006-09-18 06:29:49 · answer #9 · answered by Angelkiss85 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound to me that you are very lonely and you are just relying on John for friendship that you dont even want you just think well he is better than no-one..stop seeing John and join a club or something and meet nicer people who are more suited to you and you will be much happier.
2006-09-18 06:37:44 · answer #10 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should dump him because the reasons you are still with him all seem to be based on the guilt you would feel if you ended things with him. he obviously doesnt make you happy and there certainly doesnt seem to be anything of the spark required to keep a long and happy relationship. think of it as ripping off the band aid quickly and painlessly rather than dragging it on for the sake of it which will only result in both of you feeling unhappy.
2006-09-18 06:30:04 · answer #11 · answered by brooke d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋