Is my boyfriend cheating?

Question

I went out into town on Friday. My boyfriend didn't know I was out. I returned home at 2.30. At 2.40 my mate rang me 2 say she saw my boyfriend with another girl & they were obviously 2gether. i tried to ring him but could not get hold of him. he rang me at 4.15 and returned home. He said he was out with his mates and that his mate had met up with his girlfriend and her friend and he was just talking to the girl to be polite. He said she was flirting with him but he didn't do anything. I don't know whether to believe this or not. Yesterday he was out and I found a receipt for a restaurant where 2 people had been out. One eating a salad & the other eating chicken wings, my boyfriends favourite food. the receipt was 4 a night where he told me he went out with a group of mates 2 another city. His excuse 4 this was that his friend owed him money & when he gave him the money back the receipt must have got mixed up with the cash.He said his friend went not him. we bin 2gether for 9 year

Answer 1

Not an easy answer i am afraid - the only way of finding out is talking to him and look straight into his eyes, if he can't look at you straight in your eyes he could be lying (i have been on a course about how to discover if someone is lying). 9 years is a long time just to throw it down the drain on hearsay and possible mix up.
Is your friend reliable? why hadn't you told him you were going out?
I think you 2 really need to talk honestly and make sure he realises that it is make or break with your relationship, that you want to trust him, but the evidence is mounting and he needs to be very convincing. Also could you not talk to his friend and his girlfriend - would they not tell you the truth?

Answer 2

Be carefull in with the (my mate saw my boyfriend with another girl stuff) A few years ago I was in a night club with my girlfriend and loads of our mates, for a while we were apart in the club and I bumped into a good friend who is a girl that I had not seen for a long while. we were on the dance floor at the time so to talk and hear each other we were talking into each others ears. One of my girlfriends mates (who was not out with us at the time) saw this and the next day at work told my girlfriend that she had seen me dancing and getting "very friendly" with a girl on the dance floor. She confronted me at home very angry and out of control forgeting two things. 1. How stupid would I be to be doing this in a night club which she and loads of my mates are in. 2. Please ask first before assuming the worst you will probably get a sensible answer. I had one the girl in question was one of my best friends for 6 years and my girlfriend knew this already.

Speaking as a bloke in an 8 year long relationship I would prefer my girlfriend to talk to me about somthing like this that bottle it up. The more you do that the more you will find suspision in little things and cause problems in your resationship.

Answer 3

Hpew!!!
9 years is long time to have been with a boyfriend, anyway i ain't gonna ask why he ain't married you yet.I am not one to tell you to leave him, but it is apparent that he is cheating and lying through his teeth too.i read so many people telling you to leave him, but what assurance have you that the next one won't cheat too???Men are programmed to lie and you can be sure that everyman will cheat at a certain period in a relationship.If he is just starting woth this new girl you can still salvage your relationship, revive it, do things you used to do in the beginning. Take it from me, when a relationship has spanned for a long time it tends to become so ordinary and not so fun anymore, i have been there, he might be craving for the lilttle bit of magic that comes with starting a new relationship.

Answer 4

you cant go off what your mates say, especially without evidence, I was once reported to my girlfirend who is now my wife, that i was seen with a blonde, my dad even said he saw me, my g/f of then now wife was very upset and only half believed me, until she met the person who everyone thought was me, she walked up to him and asked "what are you doing here" as he did look just like me, it was not until she was face to face she realised it was not me, and, he had a blonde with him, thats true, Most men will chat up other women, its an ego thing its when you find hotel receipts for two you need to worry. you were out and did not tell him, it works both ways, just sort this out by getting him to agree to be open and you do the same, you both tell each other when you go out etc, no secrets if it happens after that, well, he is cheating. I did catch my wife cheating some years after being married, but I caught her red handed, so no doubts, I had received lots of reports but I dont belive it until i see it.

Answer 5

It sounds to me as if your whole relationship is built on mistrust. You went out and didn't tell him you were going - you must have had suspicions to feel that you had to 'spy' on him.

You need to take a reality check - if you have been together for 9 years it doesn't seem as if you have gone very far down the road to a fulfilling, mature relationship.

You know the answer to your own question but I think that you are trying to convince yourself that everything is fine - do you really want to spend more of your life with somebody that you don't trust?

Answer 6

What do you think? Do you believe him? It's very convenient though that the receipt got "mixed up" If your friend is an honest true friend, Im sure she/he wouldn't have lied to you. First get all the facts right before accusing him of anything. It just sounds to me like his excuses are a bit contradicting, because why would he say that she flirted with him, but he didnt do anything - Does he feel quilty about something? I dunno, but the excuse about his friend owing him money and the slip got mixed up, sounds too weird.

Answer 7

First impression - yes he's cheating but I don't really know all the details so don't want to drop him in it if it's unfair. All sounds a bit dodgy to me though. If I was in your situation I'd be all smiles to his face and try and get a friend he doesn't know to follow him or something so you can find out for sure. If you've been together 9 years there must be something wrong there so try and work through it - don't just give up if he is cheating. Hope it all works out for you!

Answer 8

You gotta sit down with him and confront him. If youve been with him for 9 years, chances are that u will know if he is lying or not.
I know its gonna be hard but keep an eye on how things are generally within the relationships. If things have drastically changed, like him making more of an effort, smelling different and being distant with you, then the chances are either he has or is being unfaithful. There will be signs...
Go with your gut instinct then you can decide if you believe him or not

Answer 9

im sorry to say so but it does sound like he is ceating, if he went away with his mates then why was the reciept for only two people,.... and if your mates saw him with a girl, was his mate there with his gf..? and also did she see him kiss/cuddler her, i know its bad but dont say anything more till you get more proof, as if you do it will make him more secretive and hide things more... you need proof to show him to his face....

you could act all sweet and innocent appologise for suspecting him..( obviousely an act!..) so he gets comfortable again, then look in his diary, coat, wallet or mobile is the best place for more proof, even maybe try and trip him up by speaking to his mates about the night away and see if they drop him in it.... and then theres always checking his bank account foir further proof...

i know you shouldnt have to do this and i feel for you, but i have been in the same situation and when blokes cheat all rules go out the window i say!!!!

Answer 10

are the 2 of u living 2gether? why dont u get married? 9 years is a long time... if u ask me, he's definately cheating, from the look of things, they are just getting to know each other... browse through his phone, u might get real eveidence that will tell u the true story...