A guy whom I met some months ago seems to be quite shy and very self-conscious too. We both knew that we would eventually have sex, but then he started to tell me how ugly, unattractive is, or how short his penis is. Sounds to me that he was making up excuses for not having sex with me. In order to boost his ego, I told him how hot I was on him and how much I wanted him. To this kind of "encouragement", his reaction was thanking me for being very kind to him. I don't understand it!!! Why did he think I was being kind to him? I was NOT!!! Why do you think he had this kind of reaction towards my encouragement? And what do you think of his mentality? Your help will be greatly appreciated and needed. Thanks a lot.
2006-09-17 22:34:07 · 9 answers · asked by danielle s 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
low self-esteem ....low self-worth are ugly things.
he sounds like he has been one of the down trodden in life...picked on bullied or even told he was all that he believes.
I know I am recovering from such "believes" I too had a very bad childhood where I was told bad and negative things. For a long time I believed them...it wasn't until I took a course in personal development did I understand why I was thinking about myself that way.
your friend is not giving you excuses on why he doesn't want sex ....he is telling you that he will in his mind disapoint you.
you need to understand and help him find his self-worth and help build his self-esteem. it can be done I did it. I thought of myself as worthless and unloveable.....now I am happy I love myself and know I am worth loving and one day I will find my man.
2006-09-17 22:44:15 · answer #1 · answered by Marg N 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I must say that alot of people here have answered this correctly. To answer the question as well. I would add that you for yourself not to take this stuff to your head. Ignore him because you shouldnt have to sit there and boost his ego up as this is a form of mental abuse. If he loves you he should be ready for you to except him for what ever. He should know that you will not judge him. Making love is not about the size of his penis but love. If hes concerned the entire time of how big he is then he is just concerned with himself and how big his penis is and how he can just impress you That is wrong. The one poster stated that there is no such thing as a 12" penis and he is wrong because there is. He might have said this because he lacks it or doesnt have friends like that or maybe never heard of it. But they do exsist. :>)
As far as you though, I would tell this guy if he loves you that he needs to straighten up and start understanding that you love him for him and not anything else. If he continues with this i would tell you to move on and find someone else that cares about you as its just a sex thing for this other guy. Dont worry about those little kid things with this guy. I hope this helps you, But remember that sex is not the answer to a relationship as well you dont need a man or boy in this case to make you happy or seem that this is the only part to a relationship. He needs to start worrying about how to make you happy in other areas instead of his little problem there.
good luck.
2006-09-17 22:57:09 · answer #2 · answered by twism 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has very low self-esteem. Some people just can't believe they are attractive. There could be many reasons.
Is his uncertainty limited to his physical appearance? Does he feel awkward in social situations too? Does he lack confidence in the workplace or his profession?
A little shyness can be attractive, but beware. This guy sounds like he might be high-maintenance. You might end up holding his hand too much. If he is older than 16 he should have some character, confidence, and direction.
Help him if you can, but if he becomes dependant and clingy you should bail. He might need professional help.
Low self-esteem can manifest as accusations of infidelity and unfaithfulness later on. Insecure men can easily convince themselves that you are cheating, since you could not possibly be attracted to only them.
It can become a vicious circle, with you constantly having to reassure him and prove your faithfulness.
He could also be running a very clever game on you in which you are forced to do all the work in establishing, nurturing, and maintaining the relationship. He appears innocent and gets a free ride while everything is for and about him.
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2006-09-17 22:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it is ugly and unattractive. OR Maybe this guy has a real mental hang up and you would be better off with out him...
Why take on some one with a lot of baggage when there are so many healthy happy people out there?
It's like saying, "I want to be with someone who is a nut case." then go looking for one.
You wouldn't so why stay with one.
:o)
Jerry
2006-09-18 00:41:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all of the KKK is disgusting in the actuality they only run their mouths and create dissimilar confusion and are not getting something executed and have not for the final hundred years or so.. So what they hung one black guy of murdered 2 or 3 black people .. Hell in case you somewhat hate black people there are hundreds of thousands and one heavily isn't ignored that plenty so they have executed no longer something yet merely make it greater durable to stay in this united states of america with distinctive races of persons . The liberals throw their stones with love merely like they welcomed viet nam vets on the air port and spit on them and protested them and blamed them for what their liberal politicians had executed ..
2016-12-12 10:25:46 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy I can tell you his mentality right away. He is suffering from low self esteem-he's possibly genuinely surprised that you find him attractive. You're putting the cart before the horse-try and get inside his mind before you get inside his pants. Try and connect with him emotionally and sex will come naturally as he feels more comfortable with you and realises that your attraction is genuine.
2006-09-18 00:42:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He has a problem with his self image. I get like that too when I think someone likes me. I foresee disappointment and rejection and so I take it in my own hands to drive the other person away.
2006-09-17 22:37:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Common, among boys who watch too much porn.
There are no 12" di*** on humans.
There are no successful enhancments. Scams.
Ever written for breast enhancements?
You receive a picture of a man's hand.
Porn uses trick photography.
2006-09-17 22:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by ed 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most likely a virgin or extreme low self-esteem. It would be best if you move on. He needs a lot of help, and you shouldn't be in the middle of it.
2006-09-18 00:37:23 · answer #9 · answered by Alucard 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋