Should Invitro fertilisation be available to all?

Question

A friend who lives in the UK has been trying to get pregnant for a long time. She wants invitro, but she is obese and her body is not suitable. She has already tried twice. They haver told her to go and lose weight and she is upset because she thinks they are victimising her because she is fat. But very thin people suffer the same problem. How should advisors explain this simple fact without upsetting people?

Answer 1

She should count her blessings that she can be treated at all on the NHS. Many areas do not offer IVF to ANYONE. I was so fortunate to have 3 goes on the NHS in my area (North Fife at Ninewells Hospital - they ROCK!). I miscarried the second time, but on the 3rd I got my beautiful, perfect, miracle baby daughter, Georgia!

Coincidentally I was never told I was overweight, but I was (not obese, just about 3 stone too heavy). And I lost the weight before my successful 3rd try. I was never told to lose weight for the IVF, I just happened to get motivated for other reasons myself. I wish the doctors had told me to diet though. I might have successful earlier.

I know it's a touchy subject, but if a doctor explains that your best chance to conceive is to be a certain weight (without being judgemental about it otherwise) and if you are really serious about getting pregnant then you shouldn't take offence or feel victimised for being told straight up how to optimise your chances. You should take the advice to heart and put it into action. I did everything the experts told me to do. I just wish they had mentioned my weight because it really made all the difference.

Answer 2

It should be available to all. Its a basic kindness.

If you are really fat and it is going to reduce your chances of IVF working then yes, you should be told to lose weight. Simply because there is no point doing the procedure otherwise. And also being overweight to start off with does not make for a healthy pregnancy.

But there is no reason why is should be restricted otherwise.

The God-freaks and "moralistic" others who rant about how it shouldn't be available and and people who can't have their own kids should "just adopt" are those who don't have a clue about the pain and misery being infertile causes. They should shut the hell up and mind their own business.

Especially when its something that can be easily remedied by IVF.

As for "wasting" NHS money - what about those who drink and wreck their livers or smoke and wreck their lungs or do drugs or injure themselves doing extreme sports, fighting or driving like idiots - those people are far more of a "waste" of NHS resouces than a couple wishing to have a child. Have you any idea how painful it is to be infertile. No? Then shut up.

Adoption is a last resort - we all want a child that is biologically ours. People only turn to the thought of adopting someone else's when they realise there is no chance of having their own kid. thats just human nature and you ain't gonna change it!!

I'd break my heart to adopt someone else's kid and have them turn around to me when they're 16 and say they want to find their "real" mother.

Plus being approved to adopt is so hard its a wonder anyone even starts the process in the first place.

Answer 3

How would anyone tell another person nicely *this can't be done, you are clinically obese and the chances are next to nothing in achieving your goal* without sounding harsh.

I don't think IVF needs to be available to Everyone all the time. There are reasons for not having a child and obesity is one of them. The risks outweigh the gains.

Whether you need to lose or gain I would think a woman would want to be in the best health she can before bringing another life into the world.

I'm sure the doctors were as kind as they could be under the circumstances but it must get frustrating for them too to have women who don't take care of themselves come in and expect miracles.

Answer 4

if she has tried x2 and it has failed and she been told she needs to lose weight for a chance of a successful IVF she should lose weight she isn't being victimised she is being told the simple fact that her body isn't healthy enough to make it worth wasting more money on a treatment THAT WONT WORK perhaps she is fat between the ears as well - IVF works but only if other contributory factors don't prevent it from being successful as in your friends case - what does she want - to be fat or to have a child if they have told her she needs to thin down for the process to work that's exactly what She should do and as she has had x2 treatments she HAS HAD IVF but her OBESITY is stopping it from working again if she had been to thin and needed to gain weight the same would apply they should decide if they want to look Like a stick or to have a baby

Answer 5

It gives her the best possible chance to get pregnant. Surely she will do anything and understand that by getting fit and healthy she will have a better chance of getting pregnant. If she cant see this she doesn't deserve the (free) treatment. I know it may be hard to lose weight but we all have to make sacrifices for things we desire.

The same goes for thin people who should try to put on weight, people who smoke should give up, heavy drinkers...

The best way to explain it is with sympathy and compassion but to also tell the truth.

Answer 6

Yes it should be available to all as long as they are fit and healthy. If you are obese or underweight the treatment is more likely not to work, its medical fact!!! So if you go for it and are obese/underweight then that is taking away funding for other people who could use the money. In my local NHS trust we only get one cycle so every penny is crucial and if it is wasted on people who it probably wont work for then that is wasted funding. (dont get me wrong i know some people have such conditions as PCOS which does make you put on weight and that is a whole different subject)

Answer 7

I been trying to get pregnant for about 1 year now and after all that I went to the Dr. I am also overweight and thats one of the cause why I can not concieve. The Dr told me to lose 20lbs and that I should be fine but for right now to get healthier because getting pregnant and being overweight can lead to a complicated pregnancy. Dr also told me that I might have to go through treatments to get preganant so its better to start losing weight now that its early and not too late.

Answer 8

I am over weight ,and have had my last child while over weight ,I did not need help to get pregnant but I got pregnancy diabetes and that risked my life and my babys ,I should have lost some weight first.she may have only needed to loose a small amount of weight to make the difference .Look no one wants to be told they are too fat but doctors have to tell you the truth and the truth is you do have a better chance of a baby if she looses weight .Its tough to do IVF if she is seriously committed to a baby why wouldn't she do all she can to make that happen even loose weight.

Answer 9

IVF is very expensive.

If your friend is obese, she probably has a higher chance of a failed pregnancy and or danger to the health of a potential baby and herself.

Why risk public money allowing her to try for a baby when there would be so much stacked against a resulting pregnancy. (I wouldn't put it to your friend that way though!)

If she really wants a baby, losing some weight is not much to ask.

Answer 10

I'm afraid that the people trying to get pregnant should be aware that pregnancy could damage their health and potentially lead to a miscarriage.
there are no ways to dress this up, and if you want to be a good mum the whole thing is about thinking of someone else over yourself all the time.
it just means that these people have to think this way sooner than others.
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