In a relationship for about 3 months, Im in my mid20's and my boyfriend (divorced with a son) Mid 30's-The age is no issue, he asked me to marry him this weekend and I said it's to soon and then he offered that I should move in with him the end of the month... and I said not yet-I think we moving to quickly. And he got upset with me- He is in Franchising and work difficult hours -(not an issue) but he get upset when I want to go to the mall on saturday or want to go with a girl friend to have coffee/drinks. He bluntly told me- its time I get my act together because when we get married all my attention should be with him and not in the mall every saturday and I have to care of his son when he come to visit for a weekend and then wait for Mr. Man till he come from work. And he is not going to allow me to work this hard as I do (so my career doesnr matter then?)-
He told me that it wouldnt work if I dont move in with him so since yesterday we out-what do I do-Is it my bad?Help please!
2006-09-17 22:20:46 · 11 answers · asked by Ocean 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wait a moment - Let's examine this situation more carefully. All the signs are there for this man to control & abuse you:
1) He is rushing you into a commitment to him too early in the relationship.
2) He is not respecting your feelings and opinions you have expressed. Those are valid, trust yourself!
3) He is attempting to isolate you from your friends, your outside interests, and is planning on not allowing you to work outside the home either.
4) He gets upset when he doesn't get his way.
5) He wants to dominate your time, your actions, & your attention.
6) He wants free babysitting services from you.
7) He has insulted you by saying you don't have your act together.
I say you can show him that you DO have your act together by running away while you still can. And don't look back. You deserve better than this. Every woman does. Don't settle for less. You could find yourself in a dangerous situation someday.
Good luck to you
2006-09-17 22:53:51 · answer #1 · answered by julie j 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through a separation (divorce as soon as I can) from a very controlling man. Its been a year and a half and I met such a great man that I would love to spend the rest of my life with that is totally the opposite. He has shown me that true love and controlling love is two separate things. This guy sounds like he will take your spirit from you, and then go for your soul. Please think about it before you go any further, you are an individual and should be able to remain that way. Tell him if he wants a puppet go to the mall himself and purchase one. good luck :)
2006-09-18 05:32:29 · answer #2 · answered by hollie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay hunny, You need to rethink this entire relationships. This man is looking for you to move in so that you can help him with his son. He wants you to do things for him. He needs to realize that you need time with your girlfriends, your young, you want to go to the mall. (Im 26- I love the mall and shopping) That is part of being a woman, you wont grow out of wanting to go to the mall. It sounds like he is a little to controlling. It doesnt sound very promising, You want to be with someone who cares about what you want and your career and hopes for the future.Have you talked to your parents about this? I think that you should SERIOUSLY think about this and think about what you want and maybe start seeing other people. Good luck with whatever you decide!
2006-09-18 05:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by sassysharli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this appears to be the start of a controlling relationship.... you are not living or even married and hes tellin you how to conduct your life and that he should be the centre of it ...... well it will only get worse once he has you living with him he will treat you like dirt.... he doesnt want you to work so he has more control over you..... this man i a very manipulative controlling person ... a relationship is about mutual respect for one another he has no respect for you wotsoever.... the child is not yours so why does he expect you to look after him..... get out before you become brainwashed.....with what you have said it is not going to be easy so confide in friends family work collegues of what has being going on as he is not going to let you go with out a struggle..... Be strong and good luck
2006-09-18 06:34:15 · answer #4 · answered by dee9166 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a control freak is the first sign of a potential abuser. Run, don't walk away from this one.
2006-09-18 05:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well personally i think you should follow your heart, think about this carefully before don`t rush just take your time because this is about your future... good luck all the best
2006-09-18 05:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by mickylicious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
damn he treats you like a slave! you're not even married to him yet and he already tells you what to do and what not ???? he's a control freak! run while you can!!!!!!
2006-09-18 05:25:53 · answer #7 · answered by Tartlettes 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Run! Run as fast as you can!
2006-09-18 05:31:53 · answer #8 · answered by stepfordswiss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if a friend cant wait, plz think if he is worth it?
2006-09-18 05:24:27 · answer #9 · answered by hsarora47 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just leave him if he can't wait... and he also can't understand you
2006-09-18 05:29:00 · answer #10 · answered by ticia 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋