In 10 years of marriage, Often with Insulting responces from my wife, being accused as sex addict even I wanted just be in her arms, She has never allowed me 2 fondle her or even explore her! She was never ever interested in any romantic music,song, film or Novel. She is not involved with anybody else! I have tried many things just to have "IN LOVE WITH YOU" look in in vain! Even I had to get opportunity to test her medically as she does not put on weight & was feeling exhausted!She is 34, 5'-1", 43 kg, 28-26-32 & her T3, T4, TSH, BSL are normal, Tests to rule out TB were negative. She is close minded & not much receptive! Can somebody help me? Is this normal ?
2006-09-17 21:19:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe what you consider foreplay she doesn't. Find out what she likes. You cannot go wrong with pleasing you wife whether it is from doing the dishes or the right kind of affection.
You are wise to seek a solution. maybe she has anxiety and can't relax. or depression. Anyhow, Whatever yo do, aim to do it for her good and her needs. If it is for your needs it won't work. Your greatest joy will be in helping her be the happiest she could be. That is when loving is giving and not selfish taking.
God Bless you, ;-)
2006-09-17 21:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have children? If so, did she have a hard time during childbirth? If she did, it could be she doesn't want to experience that again. For some women childbirth is so extremely painful that they don't want to ever have another child.
It also sounds like your wife may have been raised to believe having sex is very bad. Of maybe she was hurt or sexually abused by a family member or family friend when she was a child and she has not gotten over it.
If there are children, you must think of them first and not do anything drastic like divorce. Sometimes people marry and discover they don't really love their spouse. If after 10 years you wife's behavior in this matter hasn't changed, you'll need to accept it and live with it. Try to channel your sexual energy into other activities to lessen the frustration.
2006-09-17 21:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by LadyLgl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be several things.
First off, stop making her feel bad for not wanting to do what you want her to do. It only makes things worse and she'll learn to despise you and it won't ever work out the way you want it to.
Another thing is maybe you're not doing it the way SHE wants to!
Another point is, she obviously doesn't trust you. Look into that. If it's your fault then if you're honest with yourself you'll know why, or if it's because of some past traumatic experience, then you have to be understanding of this. Which leads us to the next point.
She could have been molested by a father, brother, cousin, friend, uncle, whomever while growing up. She could've recieved any amount of treatment which has traumatized her and turned her off sexually completely to that sort of thing. To her that doesn't mean love, it means control, lust, pain, hurt, etc.
She'd need counciling big time if this were the case.
Don't try to pry it out of her because this could cause serious harm as well.
Sorry, my man, but in this situation it will call for extreme patience, understanding, compassion and respect from you towards her. There's nothing else you can do, without making it worse.
At any rate, good luck!!
2006-09-17 21:32:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a classic case of a woman who willingly let her man go astray. Foreplay before sex is important. Not just "hit & go". I don't know what could be the problem with her but I think most women will love foreplay. Maybe she feels insecure or feels that you look at other women just as the same way as you look at her. Do you admire other women in her presence? If you do that, pls stop doing it, at least in front of her. Try and analyse the situation to see where you went wrong and if all else fails, sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her. C'mon, 10 years of marriage and you should'nt even be just starting to talk! But better late than never..good luck!
2006-09-17 21:55:35 · answer #4 · answered by Jamila 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow your choice of a woman is different. Normal? not in a 10 year relationship, seems like u guys just "live" together relationship includes communication, etc. Doesn't seem anything is there. She seems like shes in her "little" world and your not really included in it. Talk to her about this, I couldn't live like that! I need emotional dear LOVE. I love cuddling watching romanic movies and all that. Telling each other how much we love each other. That's how it's suppose to be. Talk to her man, communication is the KEY, don't blame medical issues.
2006-09-17 21:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by Dispirited 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dunno what your dynamics are on a daily basis but youre in a rut! Women can be scared or standoffish if they arent experienced about sex. Try introducing her, watching with her some romantic soft core porn or plain romantic movies?? Be kind and understanding and give her a little space to experiment with her own body? Hard to say what her problem might be if youre a kind, loving, attentive husband.
2006-09-17 21:54:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's her upbringing when she was a young girl. She
could be religious in nature and she may view that sexual
foreplay is unclean or 'taboo' and shouldn't be done.
There are women like her with this kind of thinking and they
'hate' to enjoy sexual intercourse, except maybe it's her duty
to produce an offspring.
I think that such women are normal in that sense, but with different thinking, they are up-tight when it comes to sexual intercourse.
2006-09-17 21:37:58 · answer #7 · answered by steplow33 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
physically she may be fine but the woman has mental issues, why did you marry her? or did you find this out later? She was either taught this was bad or had bad experiences or was never cuddled something along those lines, get her help.
2006-09-17 21:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by whitebeanner 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone who has been sexually abused or made to feel guilty about their body would feel that way. I'm not saying this is the case. Maybe she has no sex drive and it's not her fault.
2006-09-17 21:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WAS she this way before you married her? who is to say your not addicted? Well it seems like you have a problem and you need to fix it cause one of you Is bound to look else where
2006-09-17 21:27:58 · answer #10 · answered by chunkybaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋