What should I talk about with my deployed husband ??

Question

I don't want to talk about how hard it is for me...I want to try and be strong and not have him worry about me. So what do you think are safe topics? This is so hard..I won't even know hoe to speak to him when he returns. Help please!

Answer 1

Hi hon. :) Just by reading these few short sentences, I can tell how much you love your husband, and how concerned you are for him. One thing I want you to know is that having a family member deployed to the military is NOT an easy thing...and it shouldn't be! Having feelings of worry, doubt, frustration, sorrow, and insecurity are all very appropriate responses to this situation.

During this tough time, you should not expect yourself to be invincible...it's not your responsibility to be the one who's "always strong" and "never a worry" to your husband. Give yourself permission to cry and tell your husband that this circumstance is hard for you when you are having rough days. Let him know you miss him...because I'm sure he misses you! When you love someone, it's natural to be concerned about their welfare...so don't be afraid to share your feelings with your husband! If you constantly hide your worries rather than sharing them, the one who will suffer most is you.

I wouldn't worry so much about whether conversation topics are "safe" or not as much as keeping the lines of communication between the two of you open. I'm not exactly sure how often you two will get to communicate with one another, but I would encourage you to write, e-mail, call, etc., as often as possible. Talk about good things, talk about bad things, talk about things in the middle...but talk about them, and work through them, together. :)

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you...

Answer 2

He has been deployed to a foreign environment where nothing is the same as at home.

He wants to hear that home is still home. Talk about the things you would normally talk about in the evenings when you are sitting on the sofa together. Waffle on about the kids, the dog, the local gossip - that sort of thing. It will give him a reminder that everything and everybody is there, waiting for him to pick up his rightful place at home.

Don't forget to let him know that you miss him, that you are proud of him and you know that he will be back soon. Always keep it light and positive - that way he will see you as strong and will feel linked to home.

As to when he returns - don't worry about it - you will both be so pleased to see each other you will find the words you need.

Hope this helps

Answer 3

Tell him what has been going on but don't make it sound like things are hard.
He will want to know that you are doing well and that things are being taken care of, so don't avoid the issue.

Then anything else that you may have to say on a more personal level.

If you have a child that is a whole conversation in itself.

You can talk about the relatives and what they are doing and you can talk about your job.

Or what you plan to do when he comes home...

:o)
Jerry

Answer 4

Don't hold back on the difficult stuff. That's all apart of him being in the situation he's in. He has to deal with the hardships there, and still deal with the hardships back home. You're not doing him any favors by keeping it from him. You might as well tell him about it now, that way, it can be fixed before he gets home. Now, don't feel the need to burden him with petty ****. If you have to tell him anything, make sure it's regarding something that has to do with your household. I'm sure he doesn't want to hear about your broken nail, or about how you can't stand...whomever, for whatever reason. Okay...that's my Dr. Phil for the day.

Answer 5

this must be incredibly hard for you and other military spouses. I think it is good you dont break down too much because the guys take it hard on themselves if they think you are way too sad. So try to get it out of yr system a bit beforehand and then psych yrself up to be strong so you dont waste minutes sobbibg and unable to talk. Concentrate on things he can know about to make him feel he hasn't missed out too muc, newsy things about you ,family and friends,local events. Keep strong and hope he and all the others come home soon for good.

Answer 6

Talk about what you do during the day. Tell him about a new recipe you tried and how you can't wait for him to try it as well. He knows that it is hard on you as it is hard on him to be away from you. Your husband needs to know that you love him. I want to say thank you to you and your husband.

Answer 7

my husband is military too, and it was hard the first couple times he left. i was always really nervous before he came back. usually i would just tell him how my days went and what the family was doing. but sometimes you just gotta break down and tell him that your sad he's gone. he's your husband and you should be able to talk to him about that kind of stuff. and time flies by when they're gone, before you know it he'll be back.

Answer 8

When he returns, he will most likely have a lot of stories to tell, unless they're too painful for him. And if they ARE too painful for him, who better to talk about them than with you?

There are probably many things to talk about, seeing as how he's probably got very busy days. But if he's reluctant to talk about them, don't push it.

Answer 9

Tell him about cute stuff that has happened recently. What the dog does, what the cat does, what "junior" did...etcetera...just refrain yourself from saying"I miss you" too much, I know it is hard.

You can tell him this from me: I appreciate you serving our country. Thank you for your helpless act to join out military to serve us. I am ever so grateful for keeping my family safe.

God bless you!

Answer 10

If you have to ask then what kind of marriage do you two have? You should be able to talk to him about anything and everything no matter what.