So I have a friend, met on holiday, kept in touch everyday via email,text, phonecalls, so there is a lot of contact their. Ended up sleeping together (he has a girlfriend but please just put that aside for a moment - and im sure there are lots of people who have been in the same situation, so please dont give me grief, im hurting as it is). He said he guessed there were some feelings there but he needs to spend more time face to face with someone to properly fall for someone and he wont let himself get in that position. He is now saying that we will only ever be friends. I think in all honestly he is fighting his feelings because a) hes in a relationship with a girl who he has known for years, b) its safe and c) why fix something that isnt broken. I believe things happen for a reason, and if you want something that bad you should go for it as life is too short. Shall I keep trying or give up?
2006-09-17 20:21:44 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We met in April 2005 and slept together this July - so we have been in contact for a long time
2006-09-17 20:27:30 · update #1
He said distance is a problem - he said so many things and now hes going on back on them, maybe because he feels guilty. THere is something there, when we first met, he would always look out for me on the ski slopes, hed stay up with me at night, he was always looking at me. I just dont know what to think anymore. We constantly argue these days. I need to just blank him out but its very hard
2006-09-17 20:31:37 · update #2
He actually hasnt been honest with me, hes been very two faced. Blasting me with loads of texts saying he does have feelings and now going back on his word.
2006-09-17 20:33:21 · update #3
Now I can understand if he sent me one text and realised it was a mistake but he bombarded me with dozens saying the same thing. Maybe I should become a nun!
2006-09-17 20:36:30 · update #4
Men like the chase.
When the chase is over they often fade away.
If he is behaving like this do you really still want him?
I managed to catch one in a similar situation, but the doubts were always there
2006-09-24 03:33:31 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure how old you are but you will have to put this one down as a bad experience,i dont think anyone would give you a hard time but just remember when there is a third party involved somebody is left feeling hurt and this time its you
2006-09-25 02:45:07 · answer #2 · answered by scott j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just put this down to experience and forget him. Tell him that you've been thinking about your relationship and that you know he is too much in love with his girlfriend for you to ever contemplate being together. Tell yourself that he's a waste of time and that there are plenty of better guys out there - single and closer to home - who would love to have you as a girlfriend.
Take yourself off on a night out with your friends and see if you can pull!
2006-09-18 02:50:58 · answer #3 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think his relationship with the current girlfriend is in big trouble. From a purely tactical point of view I think you should settle for being friends and see what happens, but don't pour a lot of emotional energy into it. Pushing for more right now would probably backfire. If he thinks you're pushing him into a corner it's easier for him to reject you outright.
From a moral point of view, I'm sure you've caused a lot of pain, and saying things happen for a reason is a cheap way to avoid responsibility for your part in this.
2006-09-17 20:50:53 · answer #4 · answered by Houyhnhnm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
am new to this yahoo answers thing, but i would like to reply your question. at first i have been through this situation before i truly understand your feelings but i dont want to be rude but allow me to say that this kind of people who ar basically selfish and addicted to the feelings of love and addicted t have sex with someone close from them especially for the first time. trust me if he loves you he would love to saty with or be with you and leave other women. So you should stand up for your self and dont let him use you anymore.. If you will check closely you would find that he has done the same thing to someone else.
belive it or not he is using your feelings to feel important
2006-09-17 20:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by jewel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say he groomed you & got what he wanted. And now useing things as excuses, Yes he will be feeling that he has more to lose if he takes a gamble on you. But i would say this won't be the first time hes cheated. find an available man who will love you equal
2006-09-17 21:49:24 · answer #6 · answered by sandra+3... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get over it, if he cheated on his gf with u then he will always be a cheat. Long distance doesn't work. I know its hard cos you feel like you have been used, but does get easier and you will find someone who respects you and wants you not the sex life. Forget him and move on break contact with him it will be easier to forget
2006-09-17 20:57:27 · answer #7 · answered by saucey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello there,wake up!! You have been taken for a ride (literally) and you know it. Get out from under all the emotional garbage and get on with the rest of your life. Dump the creep, get some self-respect, stand tall and walk away.
2006-09-17 21:32:58 · answer #8 · answered by PATRICK C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a book every girl should read. It's called "He's just not that into you - the no-excuses truth to understanding guys" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. It's hard hitting but honest. Basically, if a guy fancies you, he acts like he fancies you.
Sorry to tell you but your guy doesn't act like he fancies you enough.
2006-09-17 20:40:40 · answer #9 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to hurt you, but it sounds he's taking you for a ride. If he loved you, and wanted you, he would be with you. Don't bother with him, you can find someone better, or more loving surely.
If he wants to be friends, accept his friendship and don't try persuing something that may not be there. That will only cause more hurt.
Good luck.
2006-09-17 20:46:33 · answer #10 · answered by Alice Gill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋