my mans exes did to him, which was cheating on him, but then he cheated on them too.
He ALWAYS thinks Im going to cheat on him, cuz of that, I have no friends anymore, and stay home24/7 with our son.
I have gave up my social life because the fights were too much, and now I want it back.
I dont know what to say or do...this man will not trust me NO matter what.
And I havent given him a reason to think I will cheat either...its in his mind.
2006-09-17 19:38:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Delaney, it's a paradox...men and women want to be loved. Then, when the relationship blows up on them, they take mental notes. The next time they have a relationship, their hearts are automatically set to defend against this same pain. You are not being treated fairly, but this is a learned reflex, because of what his exes did to him. His insecurity may or may not go away with time; your decision to stay or go is yours alone. Whatever the decision is, be sure it is the right one, for you and for your son.Good luck, and remember, we're all here for you.
2006-09-17 23:20:28 · answer #1 · answered by longhair140 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is over protective and do not want anyone tampering with his property. Of course he is this way based on his previous experience and do not want to make the same mistake again. Give him the assurance that you will be faithful until the end and get involved doing things together. It will help eliminate some of the fear of not socializing.
2006-09-17 20:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a dilemma you are in, your man has serious problems with trust, please be patient with him as it's life that has done this to him, it sounds as if he is so frightened of losing you. Remember a lot of guys are like children and need constant approval and attention. Why don't the two of you try to build a social life together, maybe you could get a baby sitter for your precious son. Hang on there and please try to be understanding, I wish you both so much happiness..
2006-09-17 20:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want the relaionship, get some joint councelling and some extra one on one councelling for him. It dosnt sound a very loving and respectful place that your in at the moment. One thing I've learnt is that when people are controlling and manipulative/abusive, it's because we let them. Best thng would be to make a stand and get out, but it's up to you. He is a cheater, they were cheaters on him......sounds like a vicious round about that is never satisfied.......if it were me, I wouldnt stay, but it's not me, it's you...........
2006-09-17 19:47:32 · answer #4 · answered by Linda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he isnt insecure...just needs to go to find some professional help, if its alot of male friends then yeah i can understand where he is coming from..but if its like a guy and maybe alot of female friends...then that is a problem he needs to look at on his behalf....the single most important thing you have to look at here is....atleast you know he cares for you and doesn't want to lose you in any way possible... so for a man deeply caring and wanting his love one all to himself makes him insecure..??? thats not right.
2006-09-17 19:42:00 · answer #5 · answered by Iceman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some is always there in everything.
some men cheat some women cheat etc.
don't worry
be on ur own, u be right,
everything will settle
2006-09-17 19:45:15 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is such a problem it seems with men more than women. I think, maybe try showing him some extra affection...show him that you need him. Maybe he thinks or feels you dont need him? I dont know. This insecure thing with people is ...its a difficult one. Try more affection towards him, sheesh, but if youre always at home, really dif. dunno. its a mystery.
2006-09-17 19:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people behave in manners based on previous experiences....but since you are determined to survive i am sure he will realize with time that you are a maker and not a breaker.
2006-09-17 20:06:41 · answer #8 · answered by uknownotlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to decide if you want to live a life like this or leave.
2006-09-17 19:40:26 · answer #9 · answered by nanny2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋