Me and my bf work at the same place. Recently, ive been so annoyes by his behaviour. He's upset because of me playing game over yahoo with some others guy during lunch break, because of me sending someone esle some songs, because of me being "too friendly & open" (this is his words) with people thats he suspects happen to be guys. And also because I sometime talk to my ex (we'r just friend now, & he knows that my previous relationship only lasted a month, we're friend b4 and after for about 7 years already)
He's even upset about the way I talk and smile with others, so I have to be so concious about the way I behave when him around that makes me tired.
Do you know what's wrong with him, and how can I make him understand that the way I am, not just with men? Does he love me?
2006-09-17 19:10:16 · 9 answers · asked by Rose 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Beside, me being a pretty and attractive girl so I have a very large circle of friends but so he is.
2006-09-17 19:20:29 · update #1
Hes the jealous type or has been screwed over in the past and just cant trust a girl, either way you cant change it . A relationship is built on trust no trust no building the relationship.
2006-09-17 19:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by saturn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most addictive and " destructive " love relationships feed off of the mistaken belief that you can change the other person. What you say or how you feel is your responsibility, not your b/f's. He has no right to monitor your behaviour. Whenever you are the object of another person's ambivalence, it is inevitable that you will wind up feeling that there is something flawed or undesirable in you or the relationship. You are already questioning if he loves you or not. When a person tries to change the way you act or the way you think, it is surely not love, it is control!
Your b/f seems like he is hooked on trying to change your behaviour and that my dear, is a sure formula for frustration, resentment and depression. Ultimately, your b/f will probably threaten to terminate your relationship if you do not change in the ways he feels are essential, and this is usually the scenario.
Yes I do know what's wrong with him, it's called " controlling ".
I seriously suggest to leave this type of relationship. If you cannot end it, keep in mind that the basic problem arises from his personality and the chances of his changing much are negligible. A personality disorder is what it is, that his controlling is naturally part of his character. Good luck and God bless.
2006-09-18 03:16:28 · answer #2 · answered by trieghtonhere 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't be yourself with your boyfriend, then its clear he's not right for you. But also look to yourself to see if your behaviour is upsetting in some way too.
I'm all for being yourself in a relationship, but you also have to be considerate towards other peoples feelings too, its what its all about, and that shouldn't be something that you need to work at.
2006-09-18 02:14:08 · answer #3 · answered by Ellie29uk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He was attracted to you for your looks and not your vivacious personality....something he's insecure about. If he knew that changing your personality entirely to fit his insecurity isnt going to help him ever, maybe he'd stop it. He will find something else to be insecure about even if you conform. He needs to be a more secure person and you need to be less happy about life and friends. Sounds sad doesnt it? Maybe you two can find some common ground. Each should be able to bend a bit to show each other some trust and respect.
2006-09-18 02:30:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His being this possesive of you is not a sign of love, it is an indicator of insecurity and a possible precursor to abuse. Get rid of him before he starts trying to control you.
2006-09-18 02:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by medellia1984 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he loves you but he is insecure about his standing in your relationship.
try to give him a little more attention without sacrificing your usual friends.
2006-09-18 02:13:12 · answer #6 · answered by Busy Diyosa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sure sounds like it . or a control freak
2006-09-18 02:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by dalecollins64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
over jealous and that might not be good and healthy for you
2006-09-18 02:14:24 · answer #8 · answered by sweetone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, i think he loves you very much; try to show him that and...pray for him, did you ever go to church together?Try!
2006-09-18 02:13:23 · answer #9 · answered by tatal_nostru2006 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋