How to handle a stupid suspicious wife?

Question

I m a proffessor in mathematics & married since 22 yrs. My wife is extremly suspicious that i m having an affair which is not true. I have changed my job for the same reason & even succeded in getting a job & settling outside India, but as soon as she joined me its the same story.

Answer 1

First has she always been suspicious? Has she ever been cheated on in the past or had a cheating father? Low self-esteem can come out in this way as well.Have you asked her specifically why she is suspicious? For example, comming home late from work. sometimes, just the smallest effort can put her mind at ease, like a phone call. I would address each instance with a reassuring measure and shower her with reassurance of love and affection. Some women are just more insecure than others. Sometimes men put what they think are their rights ahead of their wifes needs, and always having to be right ahead of what is important for his wife. Security. It is a womans God given need to feel sucure. I would make an extra effort to find out why each time and do whats necessary to make her feel more secure and in time she should learn to trust you. If she has absolutely no reason not to, she may need counseling. Good luck.

Answer 2

It takes 2 to tango!!!

Married for 22 years and calling your wife stupid in public places, shows the respect you have for her and very possibly had been giving her so far.

Do you ever think you are also at fault?

Why? Becuase the base from where you are starting itself is wrong i.e. all along you had thought she is stupid.

In Indian culture, it the man who takes control of the situation and tries to do things or let the things happen in proper way, be it managing wife or any other stuff.

Just look for your fault(s) as well and at the same time very much try to communicate with her in a positive way.

Answer 3

I think that your wife needs to be getting some councelling from some professional. Unfortunately she sounds very insecure. You dont state if she has had reasons in the past to doubt your fidelity in the relationship (have you always been faithful or did you stray one time) Going by the opening statement "HOW TO HANDLE A STUPID SUSPICIOUS WIFE?" it sounds like your not the most easiest person to talk to, are you too cold and uncaring towards her, which sould lead to her feelings of insecurity. There is not enough said by you to really make an opinion.......just all guesses.

Answer 4

I empathise with ur predicament.

But please think why this is so. Women r not generally stupid than the men. Suspicious may be.

You must be acting in a some certain matter which may be indicating her something suspicious though your intentions r not the same.

Please talk ( here the work is "TALK" not shout et al) and discuss with her always about what u r doing currently. Try to locate why she feels suspicious. This might solve ur problems.

Else both of u please visit qualified psychologist at once.

Answer 5

There is something going on that is making her suspicious, so you had better rethink blaming her and calling her stupid. She is smart, that is why she is suspicious. Good luck and I hope you begin to treat her with the respect she deserves, even a mathematics professor who is unable to use correct spelling should know that three does not a marriage make.

Answer 6

Well try a marraige therapist. Since u say that u have been married for 22 yrs n things didnt seem to have changed for better tehn its the best thing I can come up for ur situation.

Answer 7

By not playing games or trying to make her jealous. If you've never cheated you have nothing to hide and nothing to worry about. I would see it that she sees you as a hot prize after all these years and give her some serious nookie before you go. If it hasn't changed in 22 years, it ain't ever gonna happen dude. Some people wish their partners were still worried about them like yours is.

Answer 8

If ur true u have nothing to fear. I think u can openly challenge ur wife that if she wants she can monitor all ur phone calls and put a spy behind u to known ur all daily activities. I think thats the best way to deal this. If u open urself infront of her not even GOD will have suspicion on u!

Answer 9

Sue F makes a good point. There is something seriously wrong, and you two need to get into some marriage counseling. Just because you're a math professor doesn't make you right and her wrong. Show her respect, show her you love her, and make her know it with all of her heart. Ain't mama happy, ain't nobody happy. They didn't teach you that in your Ph.D. math program?

Answer 10

In the first place ask yourself, what doubt u accumulated to create the room for suspision. With trust, understanding and faith, there is no way suspicion has a place in a relationship. Ao, u may have to ponder to find out what incident created the room for suspicion.