Sometimes we are so in love, yet sometimes he will hit me and push me. He calls me fat too when he is angry.
We still haven't been able to 'finish the deal' due to a sickness of mine, yet he tells me once we do he will be a lot more relaxed and easier to deal with.
I am unhappy at times, and I love him so much. I don't want to lose him, yet I can't live like this forever. What should I do?? We just got married a few months ago, everyone will be asking WHY WHY WHY?? I can't do that! Help please!! pS i'm 22
2006-09-17 17:48:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Darling WAKE UP! You say he hits and pushes you?Love does not HURT and what he is doing to you is wrong!! Take it from someone who has been there...my ex put me in the hospital after giving birth and could of killed me....later cried and said he LOVED me.Do you want that to happen to you?Get away from him NOW before you are in serious danger!! There are places that will help you if you need it..good luck!
2006-09-17 17:53:51 · answer #1 · answered by sugar_n_spice 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. When you get to a point where you are scared for your life, maybe then you will get out. He will not change and I am sorry to tell you that. I went through it for 6 years. Even if he really does love you, he can't help the way he is and he can't change. That is unfortunate, but you have to think about you. I am married to someone else now and happier than ever, even though I still know that my ex really did love me, but he could never change. Love is not enough in this situation. Try your best to realize and know that there is still someone in your future that will love you more and never treat you this way. You don't think so now and it seems like there is nothing else for you, but there is. This man you are with may love you, but he can't help his anger and neither can you. You will be a victim of it until you leave.
2006-09-18 01:22:01 · answer #2 · answered by AveGirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody deserves to be hit or mentally abused. No matter how fat you may be!! What do you mean finish the deal? Regardless what it is- it DOES NOT CAUSE HIM TO ABUSE YOU
I would recommend therapy. I know many people that went through this "treatment" From addicts to abusers. It really can help a lot, when there is a 3rd party that can go through your issues. If it is mentioned- tell him our marriage is at risk and I WONT DEAL WITH THIS.
I find once mar rage happened the the male usually gets it into there head that they control you....
If you are already taking this abuse I can guarantee that it will not get any better- regardless what he says.
Hit the bastard back,
2006-09-18 01:00:03 · answer #3 · answered by mikey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been hit and pushed. That's physical abuse for which you have no reason to forgive him. Are you both working on some multi-billion dollar deal that you think when accomplished will assure you a lifetime of peace and happiness? It's your life and you don't really have to care about what other people will say, as long as you do the right thing. Get away from him and move on. Find some one who will respect you for what you are and not for whatever kind of deals or money he can make with you.
2006-09-18 00:59:06 · answer #4 · answered by yuvan53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out NOW!!!!! No one deserves physical and mental abuse. Regardless of what the reason is, he has NO right to hit you and call you names! There will always be an excuse, don't believe the lies. If he really loves you he wouldn't hit you. God never intended for you to be treated this way. You have to know unless he gets help it will only get worse and he can work on this apart from you. I know this from experience...5 years worth. You deserve to be treated so much better. And at 22 years old, you still have plenty of time to find the right guy for you that will love you and treat you the way you ought to be treated. Don't keep waiting on him to change, you never know when he may go further with the physical abuse. PLEASE GET OUT OF THERE!!! You don't need to chance being a statistic. Be careful and God Bless!
2006-09-18 01:06:38 · answer #5 · answered by ByGod'sGraceWe'reSaved 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You truly believe that being hit and being called fat is LOVE? Psychologically he is killing you. "not finishing the deal" because you have an illness? there are many ways to satisfy a partner, however, he is killing you inside, your spirit, your happiness, your love and your heart. Do you want to get older and look back at all the times you were hit or battered with words and try to explain that to your children? You are allowing him to gain more power over your thoughts and feelings everytime he hits you or calls you names. Even a shove is pschycologically damaging, its someone else, regardless of their connection, stepping into your space, your bubble. Anyone with respect for another human being, and including their spouse would not, I repeat would NOT hit, push, shove, or call names. My advice??? for what it is worth, get rid of him or call the marriage off. You could even give him a grace period, at which time he goes to counseling, if he does not want to seek counseling for the both of you, then you leave him or kick him out....whichever is easiest. He will not change without your taking a stand, because at this point he believes he can and is allowed to treat you this way, your 22 y.o. hun, there are many more fish in the sea. Believe me, you will live and you will learn even if through pain of letting go. I wish you luck, remember, we are the only ones that have the ability to truly protect ourselves.
2006-09-18 09:32:25 · answer #6 · answered by Tina H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate stories like this. My mom was in an abusive relationship for three years when I was little. We ended up getting away, but it didn't stop me from winding up in my own. It sounds a little extreme to call the occassional push or hit abuse, but on top of him calling you names, it is. Abuse can be physical, verbal, mental, emotional, and for you this is causing you emotional distress. I was with a guy for a while that was great sometimes, but then whenever he got in a bad mood he made me feel like **** and occassionaly pushed and hit me. That kind of behavior is not productive in a marriage. It will only make you hate him in the long run and if you plan on having children it will make them think that kind of stuff is okay in their own relationship. You deserve to be treated like a queen. No marriage is perfect, but love doesn't mean hurting the other person just because you're angry. It may be hard to seperate yourself from this relationship since you do have feelings for him still, but you're the most important person in your life and you should do what's best for you. As for other people, who cares!!! Everyone makes mistakes and if anyone is going to frown at you for making such a decision, they aren't very great people to have in your life anyways. I hope everything works out for you!!!
2006-09-18 01:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by Nicole 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young, get out of that relationship now! He can say he is sorry a million times and promise he will change but don't count on it. And what will happen if you have children with this person? Will he keep hitting you or will he abuse the children? The longer you stay with someone who treats you like that, the lower your self esteem gets until you have none. Please take my advice and get out now. If I had not been in that situation myself, I would not tell you this but I have and I will never go into that again.
2006-09-18 00:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by Val 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once he hit you and push you, do not hope that it will never happen again. love will never inflict such pain. "Finishing the deal" wont make him a better person. GET OUT
2006-09-18 03:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by berkut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need professional help, sister.
2006-09-18 00:52:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋