I have taken her out to dinner on occation and to the show too. How much do you think it has cost me for a year in food and hot water and some entertainment?
2006-09-17 17:30:15 · 32 answers · asked by susan_112147 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You mus be very long sufferring.....think of how much money she has SAVED the year that she's been under your roof...I could be out of debt if I could live like that for a year....maybe you could also.....
2006-09-17 17:34:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your son and his girlfriend. If she does not get a job to help pay at least a bill or two then she needs to start helping with the house chores. If she refuses to do both then you may need to hand her an eviction notice(the only legal way you can throw an adult out of your house). But use that as a last resort because if the relationsip with your son and her girlfriend is serious, you could risk damage to your son's relationship with you. But tough love is always better than non-action.
2006-09-17 17:42:42 · answer #2 · answered by travis_a_duncan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it depends on whether she has children, or is going to school. She probably has no idea you're upset, or what you're upset about. You cant expect some people to just be grateful and help out. Call a family meeting and ask more of her, chores etc, but DON'T attack her. Direct it for all of you. That you all could do more, or both of them, and suggest a chore chart. Or if you feel she should be working/going to school suggest it to her and let her know it would be helpful for her to get an education. Motivate them or her to get up and be productive. Yelling at her or putting her down isnt going to motivate her, right? be careful speaking her her, and never direct a problem straight at her. That makes peoples defensives go up and then theres a wall that you'll have a difficult time crawling over.If you invite them out, it would be expected that you pay though...unless you have told them otherwise. Make some boundries and rules and help them stick to it.
2006-09-17 17:59:00 · answer #3 · answered by cherokee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that your son thinks that she has contributed almost every night. Even she sees that she has a right to be there as "payment for service render" Not trying to be funny. But this could be one way the she looks at it. Tell you right now this will not turn out good no matter what you do. Your best bet is to tell her that she needs to move on. Your son may get mad and could even move out with her but he will learn and come back home.
2006-09-17 17:38:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, if she's a teenager then even though its obvious to us that she should pull her weight, I really think that it probably hasn't crossed her mind! She's young and her mind is on more exciting things. I think that you should take her and your son aside and talk to them about how your financial status has changed and your going to need them to pitch in in order for the girl to stay. Make sure its not an attack, talk as if you'd love her to be able to stay but moneys tight. (You don't have to prove that moneys tight, its your own business how your going financially). I really think if you do it this way you can get the result you want and still stay on good terms with your son. Good luck.
2006-09-17 17:47:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do these things out of the kindness of your heart and because you want to do things with her then don't be the type of person who keeps score, please. If you do it thinking she will repay you, then stop thinking that. Give her gentle hints about getting a job and tell her and your son that you believe that they should compensate you for certain things, it costs to run a household. Tell them you love having them but can't foot the bill all by yourself. If they have a brain in their noggins, they will understand.
ps if they don't then its time for tough love and ask them to start apartment hunting.
2006-09-17 17:38:14 · answer #6 · answered by el 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not your problem. Your son and her need to move out and make it on their own. Maybe he'll soon realize she is a lazy a.s.s and kick her to the curb.
But that won't happen until you stop coddling the two of them. At some point in time they have to go out there and face the real world.
Just my thoughts.....
2006-09-17 17:36:15 · answer #7 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whose problem is it--yours or his or hers?
Whose mistake is it --yours, his or hers?
Who has the power to make a change--you, him or her?
Who wants to solve the problem the most--you, him or her?
Who is the least likely to want to change things--you, him or her?
I think if u honestly answer these questions, you will realize who has to take action and who IS in control here, along with who SHOULD be in control here.
Good luck. BTW, the cost of what has been spent on her is of no current meaning. It's the past. It's gone. You had no contract, I assume, so u cant influence the past, only the FUTURE.
2006-09-17 17:40:45 · answer #8 · answered by Theycouldntkillkenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've left alot of blanks in this scenerio, but if she can't contribute financially, then she needs to pay her way by doing things around the house (laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc.). You should've never let it go this long...she's found her meal ticket and it's gonna be tough prying it from her mooching fingers! Good luck!
2006-09-17 17:36:35 · answer #9 · answered by south_lido 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear this,I think you shud put ur foot down and tell her to pay her way,where does she expect you to get the money from to pay for the food that she eats etc...you seem a caring person and down to earth person but sometimes ppl can just take u for a ride and get too settled,and expect it all the time.show her whos boss and tell ur son to have a quiet word aswell.hope it turns out ok hun.
2006-09-17 17:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by samantha m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me I would tell her that she either starts helping out around the house and buying some food or something or shes out. Theres no other way or shes just going to keep basically using you as long as you let her. She needs to learn to respect people. Thats just plain out RUDE!!!!!
2006-09-17 17:35:44 · answer #11 · answered by Heather A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋