Then why do we focus on whether we are happy or not in our marriage? If a person gives out in the marriage more than they expect in return would it not make for a happier marriage.
Would less marriages end in divorce if both parties worked towards making the other person happy?
2006-09-17 17:27:55 · 19 answers · asked by Searcher 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YES!!! This will all sound very stupid and silly to most people. My husband seems to me that he is all about making me happy and he expects that in return from me. It seems like he concentrates on me and what I want and need. Then expects for me to give him the same. And since I see that he does this, it makes me want to do the same for him, so I do. This makes our marriage the best and gives us security that the other person can be counted on and always confided in. It also makes it like we are more connected or more like one entity because we truly treat each other as well as we would treat ourselves. This seems very rare and I am very fortunate, I know that. Also, its not a good idea to speak bad about him to anyone. And the same for him. That would be like talking bad about yourself. When you concentrate on the bad issues of a person and talk about them to others, that is a violation of trust and its separating you more and more from the other person.
Yes, I think if marriages were all like ours, then they would never end in divorce. It would be like cutting yourself in half.
2006-09-17 17:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by AveGirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While we are not married 15+ yrs (only 8 yrs) we had long term 1st marriages (17 and 20 yrs) before the divorce. We learned a lot of valuable information on how to keep a marriage loving and lasting. The most important is communication - you have to be able to talk about good and bad things together without a lot of fighting. You have to work at keeping your marriage alive and strong EVERY day. Never take your spouse for granted or assume they know what to do, etc. Spouses are NOT mind readers. Work out problems together - especially when it comes to children/disapline and finances. If you are not on the same page with those things, you will have many more fights and that will tear down the marriage. Always respect each other and NEVER use sex as a weapon (withholding, etc). Treat each other like you want to be treated.
2016-03-17 22:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The secret to a happy marriage is communication and compromise. If more couples would take the time to talk to each other instead of at each other and learn to give a little and meet their partner halfway on things I think a lot more marriages would make it for the long haul.
2006-09-17 17:33:18 · answer #3 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe the secret to a happy marriage is respect, trust, commitment and an open communication. Not only that you make your partner happy but you need to be happy as well. Striving hard to make the other person happy without regard to your own will only lead to feelings of neglect.
2006-09-17 18:45:49 · answer #4 · answered by OnThe36th 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The secret to a happy marriage is commitment and communication. No one should be burdened with the responsiblity of making YOU happy but yourself. If one is not happy in their marriage it is not the other's fault. Our happiness lies within ourselves and unless we have it there our marriages will not be happy. If one gets married thinking the other person has to make them happy then they are getting married for the wrong reason and THAT is why the marriages end in divorce.
2006-09-17 17:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if more people focused on the good instead of the bad there would be more successful relationships.But lets face it we are human and tend to let the negative control us more than we should. Recognizing this could lead us to a more successful life in every aspect. Some people go into marriage before making sure they are successful with themselves, end up bringing a lot of baggage, negative emotions, and chilhood issues into it which can break the success of the marriage in time. Just my two cents.
2006-09-17 17:58:02 · answer #6 · answered by cat s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fundamental flaw in your argument is that you cannot "make" another person happy.
What you can do is make an environment in which the other person can BE happy, but that's not the same thing. If the other person chooses not to be happy, there's nothing you can do about it.
Some people just need "drama" in their lives, something to be upset about, something to be miserable about, something to be victimized about. You can give them the world and they would still find something wrong with it.
People need to take responsibility for their own happiness, and be honest in their assessment of what that happiness truly is. Too many folks are blinded by "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" syndrome... not realizing that the other pasture has its share of weeds, too.
2006-09-17 17:52:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, if a person gives out more than he or she expects, it will make for a happy marriage. Usually both try to give to each other, instead of being selfish. If you think of yourself all the time this is detrimental to the relationship.
2006-09-17 20:56:51 · answer #8 · answered by lizzybit64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very insightful........I don't think there's much more to add to what you've said.
Marriage is a partnership and terms like "mine" and "yours" should be replaced with "ours". I believe you're absolutely right, many people divorce when things get rough and aren't "fun" for them anymore. Marriage takes two committed people willing to give of themselves, which says that if each person is giving, the other is receiving.
2006-09-17 17:32:57 · answer #9 · answered by Sideshow Bob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married for 26 years and yes that would probably work better, but when children come and go, life as you know it changes. Life gets in the way of these things. It takes committment from both to make it work.
2006-09-17 17:31:13 · answer #10 · answered by Jan G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋