My bestfriend's boyfriend has Bipolar. Lets call her Kelly and him Owen. Kelly is in her early 20s and Owen in his late 20s. They have been together about 14months and its been an on & off relationship. I think they broke up about 2-3 times. Anyone who is familiar with Bipolar will know that the person can be depressed for day(s). Currently Owen is unemployed & has been for a couple of months. Kelly does help with his rent payment every now and again & sometimes other expenses too. Owen may go for days without calling/seeing Kelly & she is the one that mostly rings him. His excuse is that he is too depressed etc. I know I shouldn't call it an excuse & I understand its a serious illness. When they break up, they remain friends & get back together again. She gets upset when he doesn't ring/see her. I tell her that it isn't just Owen that we are dealing with but it is his illness as well but sometimes ya know..U jus haf 2 wonder..is it really? I am lost on how to advice her.
2006-09-17 16:47:45 · 5 answers · asked by Sienna Bella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's not as easy as just 'talking'. She has tried numerous times..but his usual response is.."this is me..like it or lump it"..well maybe not in those words..but simliar.
He does see a psychologist & he takes meds. sometimes i just feel he uses his illness as an excuse.
They can't remain friends because they tried many times & they just end up togther again. I don't know how to advice her to END IT OFF COMPLETELY WITH NO CONTACT. but she worries for him and i tell her that he is not your responsibility.
2006-09-17 16:48:18 · update #1
The following link contains information about Bipolar Support Groups in the United States.
http://www.dbsalliance.org/supportmap.html?agree=0
If you don’t happen to be in the United States, do a search for ‘Bipolar Support Groups’ in the area you live.
Try asking this same question in the ‘Health - Mental Health’ Category.
The responses you get there, may be a bit more helpful.
I’m sorry I can’t offer any other suggestions for you !!!
2006-09-17 16:50:20 · answer #1 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister dated a guy with bipolar and this story sounds like a page out of her life! She and her boyfriend were on again/off again for 3 years. Finally she broke up with him for good, because depression/mania really take a toll on the other person. I really liked this guy, and he was super smart, but when he would get depressed he would not show up for work for days at a time. She couldn't put up with it. I say, Kelly should get on with her life.
2006-09-18 00:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by Becca 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am bipolar (manic depressive) and yes, it is a serious illness... but even without meds, depression will not cause a person to completely ignore someone they truly love. They may not want to go out or interact very much during the depressive phase, but they will still communicate. I would think he's either misdiagnosed (does he ever have manic phases?) or he doesn't love her.
JMO
2006-09-17 23:58:04 · answer #3 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not up to you to advise her. She has to make this decision herself. If you tell her what to do and she does it, and then she's unhappy with the decision, she will blame you. The best advice is for you to stay out of it.
2006-09-17 23:51:57 · answer #4 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until she ready to end it there's nothing you can do but be her friend.Let her live her own life and make that decision herself.
2006-09-18 00:02:43 · answer #5 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋