My bestfriend's boyfriend has Bipolar. Lets call her Kelly and him Owen. Kelly is in her early 20s and Owen in his late 20s. They have been together about 14months and its been an on & off relationship. I think they broke up about 2-3 times. Anyone who is familiar with Bipolar will know that the person can be depressed for day(s). Currently Owen is unemployed & has been for a couple of months. Kelly does help with his rent payment every now and again & sometimes other expenses too. Owen may go for days without calling/seeing Kelly & she is the one that mostly rings him. His excuse is that he is too depressed etc. I know I shouldn't call it an excuse & I understand its a serious illness. When they break up, they remain friends & get back together again. She gets upset when he doesn't ring/see her. I tell her that it isn't just Owen that we are dealing with but it is his illness as well but sometimes ya know..U jus haf 2 wonder..is it really? I am lost on how to advice her.
2006-09-17 16:22:01 · 9 answers · asked by Sienna Bella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's not as easy as just 'talking'. She has tried numerous times..but his usual response is.."this is me..like it or lump it"..well maybe not in those words..but simliar.
2006-09-17 16:29:41 · update #1
He does see a psychologist & he takes meds. sometimes i just feel he uses his illness as an excuse.
2006-09-17 16:35:01 · update #2
They can't remain friends because they tried many times & they just end up togther again. I don't know how to advice her to END IT OFF COMPLETELY WITH NO CONTACT. but she worries for him and i tell her that he is not your responsibility.
2006-09-17 16:37:02 · update #3
MOVE ON BABY
2006-09-17 16:24:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a niece with bipolar and though they may be touchy at times and get depressed it is no excuse to not have a job and to forget about your life. Maybe she should talk to him and see how he really feels because i dont wanna sound mean about this but sometimes people use there health as an excuse but it isnt. There are all diff people that have health problems but still live day to day just as any other healthy person would.
2006-09-17 23:29:53 · answer #2 · answered by chelsea s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being bipolar is like being on an emotional roller coaster all the time. You can't really know what it's like unless you are bipolar yourself. Really, I feel bad for the guy, but your friend doesn't seem strong enough to deal with this illness. That's not a bad thing because it is very hard to deal with. I think she should get out any intimate relations with him and just remain friends.
2006-09-17 23:30:28 · answer #3 · answered by inluvwshana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's try this on: it stinks.
Bi-polar, which I am, is cyclical. You haven't described any manic here and 14 months is a tad long.
Bi-polar depression is tremendously treatable. He doesn't want to go for a few pills. Fine, it's his life. If he won't go for he, dump the chump, it WAS their life.
If he is is only interested in using her as a free lunch bag, it's not depression, it's cheap and manipulative.
i am very familiar w/ bi-polar, have been actively so for 10 years. Depressed to "normal" isn't bi-polar. Where is the kick into high gear get a job side.
Smells.
2006-09-17 23:28:35 · answer #4 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Kelly" clearly has feelings for "Owen" despite his condition, and despite himself for that matter. You can't disregard that, but, she needs to seperate herself from him. I had a girlfriend like "Owen," we were off and on, finally I cut the cord, she's still a mess, in and out of hospitals. The sad truth is that there was nothing i could do to help her. Nor is there anything "Kelly" can do to help "Owen." He is using her because he knows she's safe, its probably not malicious, but thats what it is. She needs to leave and move on, despite the pain.
2006-09-17 23:26:44 · answer #5 · answered by Bamos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should tell her to get a new man i thin kthat he needs some serious help and untill he gets it she should not be with him! bipolar people can get very violant and he could get a little drunk and pissed one day and seriously hurt someone or if they have sex and she gets pregnat and he hurts the child...there are many things that could happen! so my advise is to get help help and then after he is better then they can talk to see if they are right for each other! and maybe there time apart will show them that they are better off apart! good luck and god bless!
2006-09-17 23:28:36 · answer #6 · answered by bballgurlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept the fact that your advice will fall on deaf ears, because if she feels that he needs her, she will go back to him again. It's her Karma.
All you can do now is to point out the advantages(if any) and disadvantages of her continuing relationship with him. Then let her decide. It's her life and her choice.
2006-09-17 23:28:57 · answer #7 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i personally think they need to sit down and re evaluate their relationship. even thouugh i know bipolar people can snap on you in those situations but it needs to be done in order to keep the relationship alive!
2006-09-17 23:27:39 · answer #8 · answered by koolies ! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...is the boyfreind getting help and taking medications? maybe she really loves him and wants to stick it out with him. Try googling and maybe you and her can discuss about BIPOLAR and weigh the pros and cons:)
2006-09-17 23:30:37 · answer #9 · answered by wittlewabbit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋