should I tell them I'm lesbian?

Question

My parents are die hard christians that think that gay people are terrible sinners. I go to a christian school where everyone thinks the same. If I tell anyone, they'll tell my parents and they'll rush me off to church to talk to my pastor and repent. but if i dont tell someone soon im gonna explode! who can I tell who wont judge me?

Answer 1

A good idea would be to wait until you are no longer financially dependent on them. I know it's hard wanting to be open with your family, friends and yourself, but sometimes it's better to wait until you're self-sufficient. Even then coming out to select groups of accepting people first is a good plan. You'll probably want to tell your parents eventually, and they may be okay with it; just be prepared for them to react negatively at first.

Answer 2

Hey, you're not alone. You just told a bunch of people. Yes, we are not physically there with you, but all the same, you have come out to yourself and on Y/A. Sounds like your school and church and parents maybe are not good places to confide. As others have said, focus on finishing school, and if you can, go away to college - you'll have a lot more freedom then, and a better shot at living a good life. For now, see if there is an LGBT center in your area. If there is, on the QT go call or visit. You'll find support that you're not apt to find in the circles that you travel now. If there isn't one near, then contact the one on-line to find out if there are other resources, or maybe even a gay friendly church where you could go talk to someone who will have your best interests at heart. Hang in there. You'll be independent soon enough, so focus on what you need to get to a better place in the long run.

Answer 3

It was a good start with admitting it to yourself and telling us. Keep talking about it. Just don't do it with anyone from school or at home. Find a support group to talk with. That way you can get your feelings out.

You already know how your family feels about the subject. Why add that much more pressure to yourself and your parrents. There will be plenty of time in the future for them to learn and adjust. Now is not the time for it.

Stay focused and know that there are many of us who understand and will not judge you. Take care, Hon.

Answer 4

I am in the same situation as you except i am bi and older.

The chances are very high that they will be shock out of their socks and will do something drastic even if they are forgiving parents. old 'habits' die hard. so don't tell. Also you need their $$ support and your community's support too. Wait till you're older and financially sound, then reconsider.

Talk to a few very very trusted friends and tell them to keep it a total secret. no hints no nothing to anyone. If you feel none of them can be trusted then don't tell.

talk to us forum people but delete your internet history every time you post here coz a mum found out her son was gay through this way.

Answer 5

Why do you need to tell them? You know where they stand. You know where the church stands. You aren't going to change the church. You aren't going to change the parents. They won't judge you if you aren't on trial.

Now that would be a scene. I show up at traffic court. The judge calls for the next case and I stand up. "First, you aren't next, and second, what was the ticket?" the judge says. "I don't have a ticket but yesterday I was speeding." I'll probably have to pay a fine alright, but it was for interrupting the judge's court since I wasn't charged with a crime. Why ask for trouble before you are in trouble?

Answer 6

It is too bad that your parents can't be approached.
I am not gay, I am a parent, my children are young.
I would as soon my girls not come to me and tell me in the future that they are gay.
I say rather not, but if they do I hope that I am parent enough to think about the Idea that this is my child.
I am sure that I will love them just as much in the future, as I do at this minute.
I would never take my child to some outsider, even if he is a pastor.
Where I live there are crisis hotlines, try this.
whatever you do, keep a positive attitude about yourself.

Answer 7

You're pretty much screwed, unfortunately. Honestly, if you come out to any of these people, you're in for more stress than you're under right now just trying to keep it a secret. If you MUST tell someone, find someone you know is understanding, preferably not Christian, and isn't going to gossip about it. If you can keep it a secret, do so.

I know it sucks, but I've known too many people who have hoped to get support and ended up all alone.

Answer 8

If I were you, I should wait a little longer. It is hard to find someone in your community (I suppose) who isn't really 'against' falling in love of somebody of the same sex. I think you better can tell someone who is ok with it, do you join a sportclub or something like that, were you can talk to somebody? Otherwise, I would tell it to somebody who is nice to you. (even a teacher) and who has the ability to help you and take your problem (of your community and parents vs being lesbian) serious.

wish you all the best you need!

Answer 9

I think it might be a good idea to wait until you aren't dependant on your parents. Once you're at least 18 years old and when you are ready to provide for yourself, you can tell them. If you tell them too early they'll probably force you into doing things you don't want in attempt to "fix you". That's not a good thing, so it's probably better to wait until you are fully independant and in control of your life.

Answer 10

I personally would not tell them, just becuase of the amount of stress it would cause. Is there a counselor you can talk to? Perhaps someone outside of your school/church? Look up to see if somewhere near you there is a group for gay and lesbian folks. That might be a good place to start.

Good luck.