Last Friday, we watched a movie based back in the 40's or 50's. Two of the main characters had an "open marriage", and the wife had an affair with a much younger man. Afterwards, we were discussing the movie, and she made a strange comment. She stated that she believes that nearly everyone who had money back in those days probably also had open relationships. Then she went on to say that if she lived in those days and was rich, she'd also want to have a "boy toy". I suspect that she is mostly kidding, but her comments still concerned me. Even if she's not really that serious about it, it still caught me a bit off guard that she's speak so lightly about an issue like this. Should I be worried?
2006-09-17 15:52:27 · 18 answers · asked by George C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some people has this habit of jokingly say the truth. This is the kind of people who doesn't know how to be serious about their feeling.
Perhaps you don't know her all that well. Start over with her and instead of guessing around, just be frank and ask her whether she really believe and mean what she said. This is your fiance, you deserve to know and obligated to ask.
2006-09-17 16:02:10 · answer #1 · answered by camellia_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you two should probably watch 'seeing other people.' it deals with the same situation. it's about a couple who had a wonderful relationship and were engaged. the woman then started feeling scared because she hadn't had enough sex with other people. so they decided to have an open relationship. it completely ruined their lives. it was a good movie though.
and to answer your question...women (and men, too, of course) sometimes hide their feelings behind humor. if she's saying this, then she's probably okay with the idea of open relationships. she wouldn't be saying anything about it if she hadn't thought about it and didn't find the though appalling.
don't freak out though. just talk openly about it and voice your concerns. you most likely won't be able to change her opinions, but at least you could let her know that you don't approve.
2006-09-17 23:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by Cayce A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, be worried. You need to sit down and discuss this with her further, including what are her actions going to be as soon as you guys have some marital problems down the road - run out and have an affair? I don't think it's anything to kid about. Maybe you should do some kind of counseling before you tie the knot.
2006-09-17 23:13:19 · answer #3 · answered by gator girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the movie made it look like a beautiful relationship she loved all you need to do is tell her of the realities of an open relationship...like having somebodies baby that isn't your husband..or getting diseases.. Or the other person falling in love with somebody else etc.....that and the high rate of divorce in these relationships has been proved to be more than 99%
2006-09-17 22:57:15 · answer #4 · answered by lol_des 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Worried over a woman????Hell no, I let mine divorce and wake up and smell the coffee and now she's back wioth me if that doesn't tell you anything nothing will, but I never worried about her her crap or whateever she pulled, but she came running back when the world had whipped her so and I took her back in. This was her last chance,.
2006-09-17 23:01:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you dont need to be worried. what she was saying is a dream like state of mind. she is speaking in a hypotherical matter that you should not be worried about. i guess it is like a man with a younger woman. its a dream or a fetish. relax. she wont cheat on you if that is what you are thinking.
2006-09-17 23:04:44 · answer #6 · answered by ness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lighten up! she would have been joking.If she has to spend a lifetime with a misery guts I would'nt blame her for wanting an open relationship
2006-09-17 23:04:19 · answer #7 · answered by poptrash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you rich? do you live in the 40s or 50s? then don't worry about it...and men say us women read into things.
2006-09-17 23:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by breaker_1020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you have an open relationship; that is communiction-wise, to the point that she was able to speak freely about her feelings.
You need to speak freely about how the remark made you feel. Then, leave it be!
2006-09-17 22:57:37 · answer #9 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes its on the back of Her Mind trust me ive went thru the same thing five years ago, and she did,i dumped her a--
2006-09-17 22:55:49 · answer #10 · answered by rpoker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋