Why do so many American women refuse to date Asian-American men?

Question

I have a lot of male Asian-American friends who say that many American women (Caucasian, African, Latin, and yes even Asian women) have a prejudice against Asian men. They also note the VERY few Asian male actors/models in film and print as proof of the racist climate against them. I'm starting to believe them. What's the deal???

Answer 1

Emasculation
Historically, Americans have thought of Asian men as feminine and emasculated since the mass immigration of Chinese men to the United States to build the transcontinental railroad in 1865. This is because those Chinese men were physically small averaging a height of 4'10" (today the typical Beijing man averages 5'7"), sported long queues, sometimes wore long silk gowns, and did what was considered to be "women's work" due to the lack of women in their communities. James Strobridge, the man in charge of hiring laborers, described the Chinese men as having "delicate hands, hairless faces and long braided hair." In the press, Asian men were constantly compared to White women.[27]

In today's media, although Asian women are frequently portrayed as positive romantic partners for White men, Asian men are rarely positively paired with women of any race. In the past 30 years, there have been almost no Western or Hollywood films with romances involving an Asian man and a White woman, in sharp contrast to the hypersexual state of Asian American women in the media and the comparatively frequent portrayal of White man/Asian woman relationships. Often they are described as autistic or living in poverty despite their success. Joan Kee observes that "Asian American male sexuality has long entailed a discourse of nothingness."[28] Instead, according to Sheridan Prasso, Asian men in film have with little exception been portrayed as "small, sneaky, and threatening...spineless, emasculated wimps" with small penises, or "incompetents" who always lose when "faced with white man's superior strength or firepower."[27] For example, in American films Kill Bill, Payback, and the James Bond movie The Man with the Golden Gun (1974), entire inept Asian male fighting forces are immobilized by a White man (or White woman in the case of Kill Bill).[27]

The recurring image of the Asian male as a "sexually impotent voyeur or pervert" has pervaded television and film throughout American history. Examples include Mickey Rooney in "yellowface" as the bucktoothed Japanese landlord who sneaks peeps at Audrey Hepburn in the 1961 film Breakfast at Tiffany's, or the pathetically asexual nerd Long Duk Dong from John Hughes's 1984 adolescent classic Sixteen Candles whose every entrance is accompanied by the clash of a gong.[28] The stereotypes of emasculated sissy Asian men in the media have also translated to real life in the light way that Asian male leaders such as Ho Chi Minh, Kim Jong Il, and Mao Zedong are described and portrayed.[29]

In American film, Asian men usually don't get the girl because they are either portrayed as being "Zen-like" and not having romantic feelings, or because they are easily defeated by superior White protagonists and are too emasculated to provide serious competition for the girl. For example, in Rush Hour 2 (2001) starring Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker, the following dialogue about a White woman takes place:

Tucker: She picked me because I'm tall, dark and handsome, and you're Third World ugly.
Chan: Women like me. They think I'm cute, like Snoopy.
Tucker: Snoopy is six inches taller than you.[27]

Even action movies like Romeo Must Die (2000), Kiss of the Dragon (2001), or The Replacement Killers (1998) that contain Asian male protagonists deny the Asian male characters romances with the White women whose lives that they save. Instead of the kiss usually granted to the White male protagonist, in these movies, the rescued White woman only gives the Asian action hero a hug or a grateful obligatory "thank you" kiss on the hand; there is never a relationship between the characters even if there is romantic tension.[27]

In the UK, British Asian men are often stereotyped as being "skinny, geeky, conscientious, studious, and quite subservient."[30]

American anti-Japanese propaganda poster from World War II depicting a Japanese soldier threatening a White woman.[edit]
Predators to White women
American anti-Japanese propaganda poster from World War II depicting a Japanese soldier threatening a White woman.Asian men have been portrayed as threats to White women [31] in many aspects of American media. Racist depictions of Asian men as "lascivious and predatory" were common at the turn of the 20th century. [32] Between 1850 and 1940, both U.S. popular media and pre-war and WWII propaganda portrayed Asian men as a military and security threat to the country, and therefore a sexual danger to White women [21] since a woman's body traditionally symbolizes her "tribe's" house or country in Western cultures. [33] In the 1916 film Petria, a group of fanatical Japanese individuals who invade the United States, attempt to rape a White woman. [34] In the action movie Showdown in Little Tokyo, the Asian villain forces himself upon a White woman and murders her before threatening the Asian female love interest. The White hero ultimately kills the Asian villain and "wins" the Asian woman — while the hero's Amerasian sidekick is given no love life at all.

The recurring narrative involving the abduction or sexual contact of a White woman with a non-White (in this case Asian) man is called a "captivity narrative." Most Hollywood captivity narratives involving White women and Asian men either feature the threat of "white slavery," in which a White woman is forced into prostitution; or the capture of a White nurse or missionary, in which there is threatened sexual contact with an Asian warlord or military-related character (e.g. 1933 film The Bitter Tea of General Yen). The "white slavery" portrayal of the threatening Asian man stereotype was mostly predominent during the era of silent films. However, more recent examples of "white slavery" narratives include television movie The Girls of the White Orchid (1983), in which a White woman answers an advertisement for American singers in Japan and gets trapped in a prostitution slavery group;[35] and Thoroughly Modern Millie, a 1967 American film and 2002 Broadway musical, in which young White orphan women are drugged, kidnapped, and shipped to Hong Kong as slaves.

In the latter narrative involving the capture and partial assimilation of a White woman into an Asian world and the potential relationship with an Asian man, the narrative usually ends with the rescue of the woman by a White man and their return to American home turf. Through this type of plot, cultural boundaries are reaffirmed as the mystifying Asian culture and Asian sexual threat are rejected with the rescue of the White woman, and the American home and way of life are upheld as safe and ideal.[36] These portrayals of Asian men as desiring and threatening White women yet never achieving relationships with them also reinforce stereotypes of emasculation and images of Asian men as unsuitable partners for White women.

[edit]
Oppressors of Asian women
The Joy Luck Club is particularly consistent with this racial cliché because it portrays Chinese culture, especially Chinese males, as being negative and restrictive to the freedoms of Chinese females. This in turn allows for a refreshing picture of White men to somehow liberate Chinese women. About the time the movie made its debut in theatres, many Asian Americans, many of them Chinese American, were offended by the negative portrayal of Asian men in this film. Such screen portrayals are consistent with the restriction and/or absence of Asian American masculinity in Western media.

There is also a belief in the West that Asian men (mostly businessmen) have sex with very young girls and have a fetish for crying. This is most likely due to the large amount of hentai that involves young girls unwillingly committing sexual acts.

Answer 2

I'm not speaking from experience by any means. This is an entirely baseless assumption and I do apologize if it is in any way incorrect. I believe that SOME Asians (like people of all races, including white) find ANY culture besides their own appealing, especially the culture that is the most widely celebrated. In America, that would be white culture. What's the best way to get into white culture? Marry a white guy. Of course this isn't the only reason people date white guys (I married one because he's the sweetest, cutest guy I've ever known), but I do believe that this could play a part in so many Asian women refusing to marry Asian men (not like they have to or anything). Same goes for white guys.

Answer 3

Couple of reasons:
- Perception of Asian guys as being nerdy, weak, shy, short, etc.
- Asian guys don't really hit on girls of other ethnicities

In response to your actor/model comment:
Hollywood operates for money, and generally Asian guys in films will not generate as much money as one that stars a white or black dude, unless it's a martial arts movie. Also, Hollywood is guilty of perpetuating the Asian nerd stereotype with its exploitation of William Hung a couple of years ago. However, like one person mentioned, times are changing and you have several Asian-American male actors coming into the limelight. This should help improve the perception of Asian guys among American women. It's funny, cause the truth is when I was in high school, the smartest, most athletic, most popular and most gang-banging kids were the Korean kids.

Also, a final note, I think it's an irrelevant point that American women are not that into Asian guys. I'm Korean and most Korean guys I know would not consider as marriage potential women of other ethnicities. They generally have a preference towards marrying a sweet and fine Korean girl.

Answer 4

Times they are achanging - - - - give it a few more years and with 'studs' such as the Korean actor on Lost and stars such as Jet Li - - - more American women will see the attractive qualities in Asian Men - - - actually here in Hawai'i that is not a problem and the thought there are still people who get hung over perceieved race is annoying. It should be noted that Asian men are fully equipped for any situation. Peace

Answer 5

I am not sure -- perhaps racism--perhaps lack of contact with Asians--I regret moving to a more segregated area many years ago--my husband's job brought us to the Midwest in a basically rural area. I am glad my grown children feel as though I raised them as if we lived in a more urban area--as I hail from NJ. They went to colleges where it was more of a cultural mix of people which was a much more real world experience thank goodness. My daughter;'s best male friend is Asian and she would love for him to be her boyfriend--he is a great guy and she thinks he is very attractive. I can say I know a little how you feel--I am of Italian heritage but could also pass for Latino. When we first moved out here--people would ask me silly questions like" are you Mexican or "are you foreign" --and not in a naive way--more in an ignorant way. I hope the climate changes for Asians in the near future. Good Luck.

Answer 6

I have nothing against Asian men. I dated a Vietnamese guy in college once named Lin. He was great in bed. :D Heh, anyway, I'm fairly tall for a woman (5'9") and I wouldn't go out of my way to date any Asian men simply because they're generally very short...but that's the only reason.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

I have never been approached by an asian american man. If you had asked me out before I was married I would have gone out with you, not based on race, but on you as a person.

Answer 9

No... I don't think that's true. Where are you? The south?

I moved to Arizona to be with my Chinese Hunny.

One of the biggest examples of Asian and Caucasian couples was Bruce Lee and his wife Linda, who was caucasian.

Answer 10

Asian men scammed $35,000 of my life-saving and ran.
I can't allow Asian men to scam my life-savings again.
If they act properly towards ladies, they will be treated properly.

Asian men should treat others like they want to be treated. No one likes to be scammed out of their life-saving, Asian men.
If people do not like you, that is probably because you are not treating them right.

Ladies should be treated like ladies not like ATM machines.

Answer 11

Maybe because Asians tend to be small people, and while it's considered good for a woman to be petite, american women are generally larger than asian men. I personally think Asian men are great, they keep themselves clean and well groomed, have nice clear skin, shiny hair, and when they smile, it's like the sunshine, warm and genuine. Asian men have great manners and are intelligent and well educated. I don't understand it either, but I would guess it's the size thing.