I am spending time with my male best friend that is also married but my husband has questioned me several times about having an affair with him. I want to tell my husband but I'm afraid we'll end up in a huge arguement. The "friend", my daughter and I did some volunteer work yesterday then took my daughter out to dinner. We ran into one of my neighbors who coincendentally knew my friend too. I don't want my husband to hear it from the neighbor first. My husband was out of town all weekend and didn't know "friend" was included in the plans.
2006-09-17 13:53:05 · 18 answers · asked by Miz 700 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
straight forward and to the point. It must come from you first though, otherwise, by hiding it, you will look guilty to him and he'll accuse you all over again that you're having an affair.
2006-09-17 13:57:24 · answer #1 · answered by ♥JavaJunkie♥ 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why didn't u tell your husband that this friend of yours will be included in the plans in the first place? I'm afraid this is going to be tough on u because no matter how u lay it out, u will end up looking like the bad person here. From where I am sitting, I can tell u that your friendship with this other male is VERY inappropriate, especially since your husband has expressed his disapproval of him previously. The more your husband gets angry, the more you're going to want to hide it and u will end up in a vicious cycle until it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
Personally, honesty is the best policy and u will just have to take the risk and get it out there to your husband. Obviously he will be angry but can u actually blame him if he does? U can sit there all day and say u are not having an affair with him but for those who don't know any better, it will "seem" like u are.
2006-09-17 14:03:00 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeeez. What HIS wife there? It really isn't appropriate for you to have a male best friend if you're married. That's hubby's job. I think this guy is the issue you all fight about, but there are bigger problems between you than that.
You are stuck telling him. I would not tell him that the only reason you are telling him is because the neighbor saw you though. He will feel lied to and cheated on because you withheld from him that the guy would be there. You will have to not act in ways that would leave any question as to what you're behavior is if you want to get over your husband being suspicious. I am worried for you that you have to keep things from you husband. Does he sneak around too? I wish you the best and feel badly for you both. Been to marrige counseling?
2006-09-17 13:58:40 · answer #3 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's easy. Just tell him. Sounds like you have more things to workout regarding this anyway. Definitely sounds like the trust in your marriage is not strong. I don't think you should hide it. Is one friendship more important than your marriage?? I wish I had more details about the "friend". Time for another good long talk between you and your husband. You know the saying "if you don't have trust" you don't have anything.
2006-09-17 13:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by skoosh_me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like were not getting the whole story here.If you knew your husband did not like this person or was suspicious of him,why do you continue to see him?You had better fess up to your husband,tell him the truth in loving way and tell him that you will never talk to your friend again.
2006-09-17 14:04:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Me I am honest to my husband. I mean if you had your daughter there what can you do? Besides marriage is based on trust right?? Not like you were doing something that would make you get in trouble it was just a simple dinner. I don't think he would go crazy over that unless he is nto the type you can tell him stuff like that. I told my husband if i am going to cheat you would be the first to know lol.
2006-09-17 13:57:29 · answer #6 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
why are you doing this to your husband? why do you put him through this turmoil? this "friend" of yours has no business in your life. if your husband is so uncomfortable with you hanging with this guy, you NEED to stop. how would you like it if the situation were reversed? it would not feel good at all, I'm sure!!! stop being secretive with your spouse!!! Marriage is based on trust, just as any good relationship should be. you're doing a bad job of keeping your end of the bargain here.
stop seeing him!!! does his wife know about you and he "spending time" together? how does SHE feel about YOU???
2006-09-17 13:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by one_sera_phim 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should have turned down the invitation but since you didn't then you need to tell your husband before someone else does and don't repeat the incident.
2006-09-17 14:30:56 · answer #8 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are playing with fire - and you know it since you asked the question. you need to tell you husband of you weekend activities. you are sneaking around, even with your friendship - how do you expect your husband to trust you?
2006-09-17 14:10:14 · answer #9 · answered by Kissingbythesea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Busted....that was very disrespectful for you to do that
he took you and your daughter out, now your kids involved,
fess up take your medicine
2006-09-17 14:15:13 · answer #10 · answered by Richie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋