my wife had a baby 7 months ago and still says she has no sex drive, what do i do???
2006-09-17 13:39:59 · 14 answers · asked by Daddy DJ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be patient & creative. Being a new mommy is very demanding and can wear you out. Try being more romantic. Little things will help her come around. Examples: Cuddle, tell her how beautiful & sexy she is, tell her how proud of her you are, tell her what a wonderful mother & wife she is, call her from work out of the blue just to tell her you have been thinking about her all day & that you miss her, buy her a new nightie (sexy, but not raunchy...& get the right size..not too big or it could backfire on ya) & have it wrapped or put it in a gift bag, send her flowers to work/home for no reason with a sweet note attached, or better yet bring the flowers home with you, put a "love letter" or romantic card on her pillow under the covers (make sure she goes to bed first), tell her you want to have a family picture taken, set up a "spa treatment" for her (they usually include a massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, etc.), take her to a quiet & romantic restaurant...sit across from her and hold her hand, give her a "head to toe" massage with lotion, paint her toenails, brush her hair before yall go to bed, buy her a couple of thongs & put them in her panty drawer, rent a cabin at the lake...take candles..if grandma will babysit, take a shower together when the baby is asleep...put the baby monitor in the bathroom, rent a romantic movie like "While You Were sleeping", "The Wedding Planner", "Sweet Home Alabama", or "Failure to Launch"....hit the pause button if she has to go check on the baby, cook dinner for her...that includes cleaning up the kitchen & doing the dishes...don't forget the candle light, go clothes shopping with her and ask her to try it on & model it for you.....then tell her she looks "hot".
A few of these should work. Good luck! Let me know if any of them worked. ; )
2006-09-17 14:49:12 · answer #1 · answered by lisakay_tx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is perfectly normal. After a woman has a baby, her hormones change and you have to remember she is tired, babies take a lot out of you. When you're tired and have been dealing with a baby all day, the last thing you want to do is have sex. The best thing you could do would be to help her. Treat her with respect, compliment her efforts, tell her she's still beautiful to you. Talk to her about your feelings, tell her that making love is important to you. I know from experience that I am more likely to want sex if my husband is kind to me from the time we get up until the time we go to bed. Be patient, keep the lines of communication open. Talk,talk,talk! Use "I feel......."
2006-09-17 13:48:18 · answer #2 · answered by toomeymimi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is suffering from post-partum depression. Does you job or wife's job have an Employee assistance program? They may be able to refer you both to a good psychiatrist. If not call a local mental health agency who can refer you to a good doctor. Also your wife's OB/GYN maybe a good resource for help in this matter. Good luck. Let her know you still love her and the baby.
2006-09-17 13:45:23 · answer #3 · answered by Carlos D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a baby 7 years ago and I still have not sex drive, so good luck.
2006-09-17 14:04:59 · answer #4 · answered by Mauki90 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, that is pretty common. I would suggest a physical activity you could do together. Not only would it be something to do to spend time with her, but our sex drives are ( unfortunately) very much dependant on how we feel about our bodies. Do little things, like flowers, ya know, the basics, and try to be a little more touchy with her. All those little things pile up and your marriage is definitely not going to hurt from your added attentions. Congrats on the baby, man.
2006-09-17 13:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by blackanubis9 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does it bother her that she has no sex drive?
Pregnancy wreaks havoc on a woman's psyche, her body, her emotions, her relationships, her hormones. If she had a rough pregnancy, she might not want to take the chance of becoming pregnant again.
She can talk to her OB/GYN about her lack of libido and her feelings about sex.
Be reassuring and supportive of her as she becomes a sexual being again and you will both be rewarded. Make it 'her fault" and you will destroy your relationship.
In the meantime, long cold showers!
2006-09-17 13:45:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the baby and let her sleep...it's hard with all her body has been through and the lack of sleep she will regain it also maybe remember all her hormones are haywire ATM so please yourself for a bit and remember you love her just hold her hand make her dinner be loving she will regain her sex drive soon...
2006-09-17 13:42:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to just be there for her and slowly do romantic things to get her in the mood. I did not have that problem after my six weeks. you couldn't ask me twice lol
2006-09-17 13:42:35 · answer #8 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
help her out more with the baby and house. then send her out for a "girl" day - maybe to a spa. let her feel beautiful and she may get it back!!
2006-09-17 13:42:22 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to go to her family doctor and ask for hormone pills.i had the same problem and the pills my doctor gave me worked.now my husband has no problem getting it from me.
2006-09-17 13:43:42 · answer #10 · answered by Meow4Moe 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋