my fiance' had agreed to meet up with an EX when I was out of town, just for lunch......or so they say...and I had no idea of this meeting........Should I be mad....????
2006-09-17 13:26:35 · 50 answers · asked by J-KIDD 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
U have the right to be upset about the fact that your fiance didn't tell u ahead of time about this plan of theirs. If she had any respect for u and your relationship, she shouldn't have a need to see her ex under any circumstances, let alone lie about it.
2006-09-17 13:35:31 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, You should be mad because you're human and not a computer. Read what "loving ye" and "Baby blue" wrote, I agree with them. Little lies turn into big ones later on. You're lucky that you're not married so you can find someone else. He is not the only fish out there :) I'm sure you care for him and love him but he seems to care less about how you would feel if you were to find out. Don't let him hurt you because unlike many of us you're not married yet and you can be free easily. If he hide this from you what else he would hide from you once you two get married? But then its too late because you have turned into an emotional wreck. ok. Maybe they just had lunch. But why couldn't he just tell you? If he has nothing to hide he could tell you. I know I would. Don't keep all the hurt to yourself. Cry, get mad and do something or simply ask him Why the hell couldn't you tell me? Good luck .
2006-09-17 13:46:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should be mad. The fact she did it without you being there and not inviting (which would have been the respectful thing to do) shows that she is unsure about her marrying you and she is trying to get something out of this meeting with him.
This is very distrubing and should cause you to question her love for you. If she is meeting him in this way how many other times did she meet him, or contact him and chat on phone or internet.
No my good man, something is seriously in caos and you need to sit her down and ask why she disrespected you so and you need to understand that this is very wrong. But when you do talk to her about it don't get all upset, be calm and just ask her what is going on.
But I would hold off on the relationship and engagement. This could be your future if you get married. At least at this point you can call it off without a big hassle in your life. After marriage it will be a major ordeal.
I hope the best for you sir.
By the way how did you find out?
2006-09-17 13:35:50 · answer #3 · answered by Martin M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should be pissed because he is your fiance and not a boyfriend so that means your on another level of trust and commitment which means he could have told you more like asked you if it was okay because if the shoe was on the other foot all hell would probably break loose and why meet when your out of town if you find out something after it happens that's not a good sign you should have known before hand that shows a lack of respect from him and the ex so you may need to do more research on this situation
2006-09-17 13:33:46 · answer #4 · answered by icandi22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, did he tell you about it when you got back? Of his own free will, I mean. Or did someone else mention it to you and you confronted him? If he told you on his own, then chances are that it was a getting together with an ex-girlfriend that he is still friends with. If he didn't then you might have somethings to talk about. Upset? Well, that's up to you. He could have said that it's not appropriate to meet up without confirming that it was alright with your feelings on the matter. He could have called you and let you know, assuming that you were available to be reached. Maybe you should have a talk and tell him how you feel on the situation and tell him why it made you feel that way. Would you do that if he was gone? Put yourself in his shoes, after he's told you exactly how it came about they the two of them met up. Tell him whether or not you would have done that. Best wishes and take care.
2006-09-17 13:43:31 · answer #5 · answered by mothergoose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes for the simple fact if it wzas just for a meeting she should have told you honesty is the most important part of a relationship
if you dont feel right about her hanging out with her ex when you are not around then she shouldnt just like if she doesnt like you hanging around with your exs you shouldnt the other major issue here is trust if you are having thought that she isnt telling you the truth then are you sure this is someone you want to marry you need to look in the mirror and see if this is paranoya or sincere fearthen make decisions on that.
2006-09-17 13:33:25 · answer #6 · answered by timothy f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone would if they felt threat end by his past lady is there a reason you think it could be any thing other than a lunch together
Is it possible that he could be sleeping with this woman or are you just jealous and insecure that's not a bad thing to be .
Trust is a bad thing to lose in a relationship and its also stupid of your guy to jeopardize your trust if he has nothing to hide he should have been up front with you it would have caused you to argue but at least you would not have to discover his deception and rendezvous .
2006-09-17 13:37:04 · answer #7 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who do you love?
Who do you trust?
If you cannot trust her to have lunch with someone - anyone - even an old boyfriend - then YOU are not ready for a long-term relationship.
If you feel angry, ask yourself what is it that you are angry about. Anger is always a secondary emotion - you need to find out what is causing your anger: jealousy [justified or unjustified], betrayal [real or imagined], insecurity, etc.
Rent and watch "Rumor has it!" Learn from the end of the movie what love and commitment and marriage is all about.
2006-09-17 13:41:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
XXXXXXXXXX sounds to me by both of your questions thatyour fiance has two too many secrets from you. What else could see be hiding? Is this the kind of woman you want to spend the rest of your life with? She's now showing you her true self. Wake up and make the decision that will chance your life. Good luck hun. You deserve honesty, loyal, devotion.
2006-09-17 14:11:22 · answer #9 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourselve Do you trust him,if you feel no then maybe you better question it,if yes let it be,my ex and i have lunch and its simple because we are still friends and have kids together,we don`t sleep together and we both have others in our lifes who know that our relationship is a bond that to people have when they have kids,or are friends after marriage
2006-09-17 13:53:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋