I'm a 25 year old gay guy. I have fallen in love with a guy I met but here is the problem: he's 38. He's short and he looks younger than he is (since many Asians age well), so when I'm with him I do not feel like I am with an older guy, I feel like I am with someone my age. I feel very good when I'm around him and I feel really good and close to him when we make love. But the age thing keeps standing out in my mind. I don't know what my mom would think about me being with a 38 year old. I feel like I want to be with him but something is pulling me back.
Any advice?
2006-09-17 12:58:19 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
as long as your happy who cares?..you have the courage to come out as a gay male..so why not have the same courage to be proud to go with someone because you love them and dont worry about what other people will think because of his age
2006-09-17 13:02:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what your going through!!! If you refer to my profile, and look up what questions I asked you would see why. I was getting hung up on the fact that my boyfriend is African American, and I am white. Which is totally stupid, and my concern was about my family excepting him because they don't believe in dating outside your race. So many fears, and then also getting over my issues because I didn't believe in it either. Here is the issue though, this where it relates to you, who cares. Ultimately this is your life, and there are going to times where you are going to have to except that everything is not going to be the way you want it. For instance look at my situation I love my boyfriend, and just because he is a different color than me is not going to stop that love from happening. He has been very understanding, and my family has not. Most cases I am on my own, but then again I have him!!! Tell you the truth I like that so much better, and I know the same is for you too. If you are making love to eachother, and the love is totally there, then who gives a **** what other people think get over it!!! Love doesn't happen everyday for people, and I don't know where I would be now if I had let race become an issue. I believe I probably would be miserable. Let love be the deciding factor of what to do not your insecurities. As Imon would say no your worth!!!!
2006-09-17 14:55:22 · answer #2 · answered by foxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are killing me. Your mom doesn't have a problem with you **cking a dude but she might if he is a little older than you? You have to be kidding me. I assume you are not Asian, from your description, so mommy also doesn't mind that he is a different race. Mom doesn't sound like a bigot to me at all. So why would the age get in the way? Live your life your way. We are told we only live once, make the most of it. If you love him - love him. If you are looking for an excuse not to be in the relationship - don't. Be honest with your boyfriend - don't use "Age" as an excuse.
2006-09-18 00:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by Forgiven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 26 and in my life i only been in a serious relationship with two guys. First one is when i was 17, the guy was 33. We were together for 7 years. In the beginning, i lied to my mum that he was only twenty something.. he moved for me and i moved for him but in the end, we could not be together because of personal career, interests blah blah.. But i am glad i made the choice to be with him, because we had a great time. we are still great friends now. Don't let the age thing pull you back. I know it's not easy when you have an age difference, but you never know, go for it and have fun.
2006-09-18 00:00:12 · answer #4 · answered by hoang anh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, forget what your mother thinks -- its immaterial.
Secondly, determine what you want -- I can't imagine making a decision based on age -- but obviously you can -- if you REALLY want to make a decision that way, make it, but I'm surely glad my lover (who seduced me almost 15 years ago when he was 17 by humping my leg when I was too dense to get hints) doesn't think age matters, and didn't think it did, even when he was 17.
You say you are happy, but you aren't -- primarily because you don't think your mother would approve. A therapist isn't a bad idea when you find yourself saying something like that at 25 -- a therapist and a lot of thought -- and I mean that seriously, not as an insult.
Regards,
Reynolds Jones
Justice Service Albany: http://www.rebuff.org/justice/
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-09-17 16:50:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the age thing is that big an issue to you, you aren't mature enough to deal with it. The only real time age matters is if one person is not of the legal age of consent. My other half is 10 years older than I am. I/we never even think about it because it doesn't matter.
2006-09-17 13:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are an awful lot of advantages of being with an older guy.
Like he's probably got money, knowledge of the world, contacts, taste, experience, he's been places and seen things.
Enjoy man, it's a 13 yr difference not a lifetime.
2006-09-17 13:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by Augusta B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm with someone who is 12 years older than me.
if it's a good match, the age factor will disappear eventually.
you are only 25; i suggest you wait until you are 27 to make a lifetime commitment.
you're young; have fun; enjoy life; don't worry about a serious commitment at the moment. if it's meant to be, it'll all work out
2006-09-17 15:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by Becky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a lot of gay couples with a big age difference. That is normal, cause there are less gay people than hetero's
And you don't even feel the difference of age, so, go for that man!! If you love him, you shouldn't care about his age or yours!
2006-09-18 04:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by frenzie-ann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is a number
2006-09-17 22:20:54 · answer #10 · answered by Nut B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋