why would u choose dating over arrange marriages? state three reasons..thank you?

Question

I'm doing a papers in school where I have to write on convincing a friend or a specific gender whether they should married through arrange marriages or dating....i have ideas but it would be nice to have something a bit more solid to build my argument on..because I'm literally all over the place and I beginning to confuse myself....i chose dating...anyone like to post a thoughts opinions...
more info::well we read this short essay about an american indian who ...explained "arrange marriages in india" and broke down the tradition...but i don't want to sound closed minded but to me it seem like she only explain why and didn't convince the readers....now our professor wants us to convince..someone..or a specific gender.thank you

Answer 1

1. Because I wanna rebel
2. I want to break the idiot tradition of dowry where the girl gives money to the guy to marry him (in Hindus) or guy goes bankrupt trying to get a dowry for his wife (in Muslims)
3. I have the right in Islam to choose my mate, arranged marriage or no arranged marriage.

Answer 2

Both has its advantages and disadvantages. Arranged marriages are not what they are made out to be. The groom and bride have choices. Yes, in some places it is forced marriage but in most cases it is the decision of the girl and the boy. Many marry within the caste for the survival of the caste. Intercaste marriages are looked down upon like inter-racial marriages here. The disadvantages are the choice is limited, more chances of abuse because divorce is frowned upon, greedy family members can take advantage.

Personally, I choose dating because I feel marriage is between the boy and the girl. It is their choice.

Answer 3

I have to go for arranged marriage because when you look at dating the people who married because they thought they could remain passoinate forever got divorced. Alot. The people in arranged marriages had to make it work to keep thier sanity and I think in most cases found a way to respect each other that developed into a more lasting love. So not what you wanted I'm sure but I had to say it.

Answer 4

Arranged marriage has it's roots steeped in tradition and culture. It's bounded by following a certain guideline or goal of the 'whole' and not the individual. It isnt based on 'love' necessarily but meeting needs of expectation. If you throw in an 'outsider' chosen by dating...falling in love...one loses sight of the traditions or goals.
While arranged marriages have a success rate higher for longevity....it's not necessarily because love became a part of the arranged union...it's because it's frowned upon to divorce.
So basically, youre stuck in a marriage for marriage sake. Love, is luck in arranged marriages and can come about with time perhaps, or familiarity. It just doesnt come close to experiencing falling in love.
Some reasons for choosing/dating has concepts not related to love such as genetics.
Finding a partner outside your normal 'gene' pool for example, a person could be selecting what they desire to strengthen or add to their offspring. Studies show that men and women do 'chemically' sense a 'good, healthy' mate.
Adding in desired physical and mental characteristics in the generations to come that may not be possible in arranged marriages.
Humans need to adapt to a changing environment for future generations of healthy, strong, intelligent and creative offspring and one way is to date/choose as opposed to the culture or tradition of arranged marriages.
I hope I've helped in your argument. ;)

Answer 5

Ok, here's why I think that dating would be better than an arranged marriage:

1. You end up with a partner who is best suited to you. If your parents arrange your marriage, and your parents don't know you very well, then the partner they choose for you won't be very compatible. If you secretly doubt the existence of God and your parents arrange for you to marry the local minister, you're going to be miserable the rest of your life.

2. Arranged marriages tend to be abusive. Young people will often fall in love with someone and want to marry them. When they hear that their parents have arranged a marriage with someone else, the young people are forced to abandon their loves and marry a perfect stranger. Since the children are forbidden to rally against their parents, all the resentment at being forced to give up their loved one is transferred from the parents to the new spouse.

Arranged marriages also tend to occur in places where once you're married, you're married for life. These places also tend to woefully undervalue women. The combination of resentment and hatred towards a new spouse, being trapped in the marriage for life, and the low value placed on female life is a breeding ground for domestic violence. In some places, a man can kill his new wife if she doesn't live up to his expectations.

3. Arranged marriage can stifle a culture. I'll use China as an example. Hundreds of years ago, China was a hotbed of ideas and innovation. Marco Polo went to China and returned with stories so fantastic that most people thought he was out of his mind. China was the most advanced culture in the world at the time; however, over time, something happened. China closed its borders and closed the doors on free thought. Communism took over. People were no longer encouraged to find life partners on their own and start living life. Instead, parents were responsible for finding suitable life mates. As a result, young people were not allowed to date and mingle. With the new generation not being able to organize themselves and generate fresh new ideas, the old ideas of the culture never left. China started to fall behind. Eventually, China became the most undeveloped country in the developed world. For example, farmers in other countries were using new farming technologies (tractors, combines) while Chinese farmers were still using animals to plow the fields and human hands to plant and harvest them. Without a new generation of Chinese people being able to date and mingle and generate new ideas and movements, Chinese culture stifled itself into stagnation. It's only been recently that China has begun coming out of its own Dark Ages and into the light of modern civilization.

I don't have sources for any of this information. These ideas are ones I have garnered from watching many documentaries and reading many many issues of National Geographic and Discover magazines.

Answer 6

I was in an arranged marriage once...I prefer dating over arranged marriage because I choose who I want to be with or who I want to date. Dating, you grow to love the person..in arranged marriages you try to love the person, whether you want to or not it eventually happens...My own opinion, you will never fully be in love or fall in love with the person..I was in an arranged marriage for 3 years, I loved my ex-husband, but to this day I was never in love with him.Arranged marriage is like being forced to do something against your own will.

Answer 7

Here's my best shot

1.) Your single live it up your on your way to becoming independent . a carefree adult who doesn't have to measure up to anyone or rely on anyone at any one moment. You have dreams and asperations go for it don't let anyone hold you back . But at some point in life you will need or have a another person in your life with whom you do want to share it all with.

2.) Dating is suppose to be fun & at the same time tring to find that one peson who you would want to see, and who possible would be the one you want to marry . You have the freedom to choose weither you want to date steady or date freely.
Being able to see what is out there . not feeling tied down to one person who you may or may not feel compatiable with. Dating is suppose to be fun . not nessarily ment to find that one true love. And not having anyone tell you what to do or who to date but then again if you have family who cares and freinds yes there willing and able to voice there opinion but it's ultumatily up to you to determine when and how to accept that. But you don't have to worry. Dating is only the stepping stone to a life long relationship with yourself and with the person who will someday be married to you.

3.) Marriage shouldn't be a choice or choosen for you but it's a gift you get once you have finally accomplished those things you wished for while being single, but now that you have grown up and wanting to move into sharing your life with someone. it's your choice not the choice of others wither they love you or not You are the only one who can choose. Once you find that perfect mate. one who shares your hopes,dreams, and wants the same . Someone who's willing to go that extra distance for you. won't judge you by a book cover. Loves you unconditionally. and Loves your every move and way. but will Love you when your wrong or right. What makes you say you'd be happy if you married someone you've never met or seen verses marring someone you've either knowning all your life or for more then chance. exceptance is all or nothing in the game of love so they say but I say it's not a choice it's a gift that needs to be charished and sought after as a prize won.

So if it was me I'd rather live it up dating and find that right person to Marry . Never in a life time could you pay me to have a arrange marriage. Not knowing who or what that person may or may not be like.
good luck hope that helps

Answer 8

#1. Freedom of choice.
#2. Ability to change your mind.
#3. Accountability. In an arranged relationship, you always have the ability to say, "It's not my fault it's not working out. Someone else chose him/her."

Answer 9

After having children of my own, arranged marriages look GREAT compared to scary unknown creepy guys...

Answer 10

1) if im goona spend mylife with someone, i want that someone to be my love ♥
2) countries with arrainged marraiges seem to have a HUGE overpopulation problem
3) those same countries the women are treated like crap an expected toonly bebaby factories