Why do plus-size women get treated differently then skinny girls?

Question

I am a 20 year old black female who is 5' 7'' and weighs 183 lbs. I have a very curvy shape, but I am mostly thick in the hips and thighs, and just a little in the belly area. Ever since I had my baby and when my boyfriend left me, there are often times where I feel fat and ugly to both men and women. My mother is the main person in my life that has always criticized me about my weight since I was 9. There are some days where I feel like I am beautiful just the way I am and not to look a certain way to please everyone else, but then there are days where I feel like I'm the ugliest, fatest women alive. What should I do?

Answer 1

No mature adult should be THAT focused on appearance. Like everyone else, you have MUCH more important things to worry about than what you look like. It's really a shame that so many ignorant people still judge others based on appearance.
You shouldn't be allowed out of grade school if you still do that.
If you have custody of your baby, focus on him or her, as well as your education and/or career.
It's your brain that's important, not your hips.

Answer 2

First of all, you should have a chat with your mom and let her know how you feel. Is she the perfect size and shape? Tell her that if a person hears something often enough, they begin to believe it.

Then you should decide that you are either happy the way you are or decide to lose weight. (I know easier said than done).

If you decide you like yourself just the way you are, good for you. Just take care of yourself a keep yourself clean as well as your surroundings. Dress as nice as you can afford to and choose clothing that flatters you and does not draw attention to you problem spots. Wear a bit of make up and be as pretty as you can be and remember, pretty is as pretty does.

Be happy, wear a smile and don't worry about what other people think and remember there is someone in this world for everyone. There is a man out there some place who will like a full figured woman and who will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve.

Good Luck

See? I just read a few answers and if you notice, the men all liked bigger women and were encouraging, the only rude remarks came from a couple of female's probably slim little people who never had a problem with weight and don't know what they are talking about. Listen to the encouraging words and ignore the rest. Yes you are beautiful just the way you are.

Answer 3

Beauty does not have anything to do with a womans shape or dress size. A beautiful women consists of a mind, body, and soul. The mind brings out the best in herself, listing all the important qualities she posseses, making her feel beautiful. The soul gives the woman a light outlook on life giving her a womanly glow, making her beautiful. The body is which the soul and mind are stored, it isnt judged by the way the package appears, but what it is holding. Every truely beautiful woman has doubts about herself as she questions the quality of other peoples packages, making her mind loose faith in her inner beauty, although the other woman do not have a fraction of wat u have. Just push aside those doubts and make more room for the growth of more inner beauty. hope this helps.
GL finding ur inner beauty
tia.

Answer 4

Rules for plus-sized girls who want to wear skinny jeans: 1) Make sure the top/shirt you're wearing ends mid-thigh. That will make your butt look smaller. 2) Dont wear a belt around your hips. It will draw unnecessary attention to your tummy. You could wear a waistbelt though just below your bust. It will enhance the narrowness of the higher part of your waistline which is usually the narrowest and give you a hint of a hourglass figure. 3) Wear any shoes which are high heeled. Flats make the booty look bigger. Only petite girls can wear flats with skinnies. Peep toe pumps will look awesome. 4) Next time if you're going jean shopping, I would suggest buying drainpipe jeans. They'll suit you better because they aren't fitted all the way down. 5) Wear a shirt with a V-neck. It gives the illusion of making the bust look smaller. 6) Make sure your jeans aren't skintight skinny though.

Answer 5

..I keep reading my post and FEAR someone taking offence...This is really about what I admire in a culture unlike my own. I'm proud to be me, but I wish we all could just live in peace... or at least in awe of each other.

Big B... This may sound weird or whatnot, but I ENVY your race - "20 yr old black female" as you always look so beautiful to me. I'm white and feel the same way.. have always been self\conscious since I was a teenager. But, I have ALWAYS admired how gorgeous black women are...I absolutely love the way African American Women carry themselves.If us "whities' could get the support for our curves like we should, there would be so many happy chicks out there....

No offense meant... I think it's great that we all are different - yet the same.. I just really admire so many traits that other races aren't afraid to embrace.

Answer 6

I would kill to be 5' 7' but anyway, I have many friends that are a bit cubbyish, they complain about it a great deal and I understand the problem. What I think is we as women have to accept ourselves for what we are. The degree of who we are is not directly in accordance with our weight or size. The remarks made are from people who have the problem, don't feel like your weight surrounds you in a circle of criticism's, stand tall for who you are and what you have done so far. Remember that you are able to do many things for many people, rise above the Blah Blah Blah remarks. When your old and grey what do you want to be most proud of? Looking back at life on your deathbed do you want to only say "I sure wish I had been thinner?". Let them have their say. Right on for you.

Answer 7

You are beautiful the way you are now!!! There are some great guys out there that love women with a little meat on their bones!!! Keep your head up !! You are a precious gem that ANY decent man will appreciate!!Not to be rude , but your mother must be jealous or something, she needs to be more of a positive figure in your life instead of being negative.Remember you Are beautiful !!!!

Answer 8

Yes. I think you should think about losing weight because I know what you're going through and I know that just thinking it'll get better for you is not enough especially if you don't feel good about yourself and then there's no one around help. I use to feel that way too but then I started exercising and eating right and I lost the weight. I'm telling you. I feel so much better and you will too. Just believe in yourself and your ability that you CAN do this.

p.s. to be quite honest, from your height and weight, you seem to be just the right size, to lose the belly just drink water and do some crunches and you'll be fine.

Answer 9

You seem to have two questions. I'll attempt to answer both.

As far as what action you should take, only you can decide that. In my opinion, you need to feel happy with yourself before you can expect anyone else to be happy with you. If you feel unhappy about your weight, do something to change it. Find an arrangement that allows you time to exercise regularly and maintain a reasonable diet. If people can't offer constructive criticism, intentionally avoid social contact with them. Set goals for yourself and try to meet them.

As far as the commonality of attraction to "skinny girls" is concerned, it is a societal norm in the United States. Societies of some countries; such as Africa, Arabia, India, and the Pacific Islands; are somewhat more approving of varying degrees of obesity. People with particular builds or body types tend to be more apathetic to or understanding of others with the same builds or body types.

Answer 10

it's true people do treat big girls and skinny girls different i don't know why and it s***s , i am 5"3 and 120 lbs i have those days of feeling fat or ugly i think every woman in the world feels that way some days i think it's normal but you and only you can make your self feel beautiful !!!