I was happily engaged and living with my fiance, when he got offered a 3 month contract to work in the US (we live in the UK) for his dream company. I was really thrilled for him, especially as we had just started to plan the wedding too. After being there for 2 weeks he sent me an email breaking up with me, saying he wanted to be on his own. Since I've heard he has been out on dates there. I've had to move out of the rented place we were living in, as I couldn't afford it on my own. At one point he said he'd made a mistake, but now says he can't try again with me as he has changed, but won't say how.
He's back in a week and I was thinking of going to the airport just so he can see me (not to talk to him there).
What do you think his real reasons could have been, and do you think I ought to go to the airport? We had been together for 3 years, and lived together for 2 - I still love him and am still devastated.
2006-09-17 10:31:16 · 30 answers · asked by kittygomew 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, I don't think you should go to the airport. You don't want to talk to him there, but he's not going to think it's coincidence that you just happen to be there when his flight is coming in. No one's that stupid. If he wanted you to pick him up at the airport so you could maybe talk on the way back, he would have asked you to.
He knows how to get in touch with you if he wants to. If in a couple days after his arrival he hasn't called you, call him then so at least you can get some closure.
Good luck to you.
2006-09-17 10:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that. It's a heart breaking situation, I understand. Guys can just be so selfish and cruel. He may have done what he has done because he liked the freedom, no committment, something new. When he gets back home to the UK, he will clue in. I don't think you should go to the airport unless he asks. He might feel smuthered. Let him come home and get settled where ever he is staying. He relize he misses you. Just give him a little space but make sure you do things for yourself. Go to school, start a hobby, get a makeover....strut your stuff and make him think you are strong (men hate that). take control girl and you'll be surprised.
2006-09-17 18:24:23 · answer #2 · answered by joyall57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mister hearts and flowers did that so abruptly the questions I would be asking, I would be asking myself. Like #1 were there any signs along the way that he was getting cold feet or that we really weren't hitting it off that well? 2. Why would I want to spend my life with someone who is so undependable?
You absolutely deserve an explanation and closure but it may be you also deserve a much better life partner! I would definitely be thinking that over a bit.
As for if you should go to the airport-absolutely not. If his feet got cold they will really be icey if sees you there closing in on him for answers. It would be much better if you start making the adjustments to your life that are necessary now, and let him worry about the how and WHY YOU are doing that so abruptly.
Did he suddenly become gay-I doubt that very seriously. That is not usually something that happens suddenly either. Did he meet someone else? So fast? Maybe and maybe not, but if he did meet someone who swept him off his feet it sure is better to know now and not after the wedding. If not, he has cold feet and I would let him worry about finding me later if that is the case and then I would want to decide too if I should even let him find me because your life partner has to be someone you can count on to make reasonable judgements and act responsibly both for your sakes and those of any children that may suffer later.
In the meantime, I know you are devastated, he has done a devastating thing to you and as I said, do you really want to spend a lifetime with someone capable of doing those kind of things? I believe it is time to get your mind on your move and start dating-someone else!
2006-09-17 17:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by beverly p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have lived together then when he had all this new time on his own, its gone to his head and he realises what it was like to be on his own - doing what he wants when he wants. Thats probably why he broke up with you, the other reason would probably be that he would actually like some nookie in the next couple of months but cares too much to cheat on you.
Dont go to the airport - you'll look desperate and he'll feel pressured. What if he brings someone back with him? Better to wait till he's back and ask to go out for a coffee to sort things out properly even if its just to say goodbye. - dont cause an argument but try to find his reasons for what he did...you'll be able to move on quicker if you know what went wrong.
2006-09-17 17:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by tspoonteddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the airport and youll probably have a scene on your hands; bad idea. Make arrangements to meet him where the two of you can talk.America can change a young mans fancy so once here he probably got caught up with the American dream and freedoms people have here. Talk to him face to face and see where things stand and go from there. Hopefully once he resees you again, he will remember what he has there and that American girls are not all what they seem to be. Hope things work out for you but if not then it wasnt meant to be and you deserve better. Good luck
2006-09-17 17:46:34 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me he has found someone new. If you go to the airport he will know you are there to see him and that might be a little to stalkish for him. Maybe you could do some detective work and try to run into him out somewhere while he is home and make sure you look really good, it doesn't hurt to act un interested and a little flirty with another man. That will let you know if he wants your attention or not.
2006-09-17 17:39:15 · answer #6 · answered by brunette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is very devastating. You should confront him at some point but maybe not the airport. It's not like you were casually dating, you were engaged and planning the wedding for goodness sakes! He owes you more of an explanation and he also needs to know how you feel about it. Since it was so sudden and unexpected, I think he met someone else.
2006-09-17 17:40:19 · answer #7 · answered by porkchop 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not go, it will just hurt you more. Plus he may have a new girl on his side which will hurt even more. Let go now or you will make yourself crazy. Even if he felt bad and got back with you, you would never trust him, I know I was with someone like that and I drove myself crazy until one day he disapeared for a couple months and then I finally met this great guy, which is my husband now of two years. If I had not let go than maybe I would be playing his games still. He did come back after those few months and I ran into him. He begged to be with me and I was able to tell him off and he had to suffer when he saw me and my man holding hands and in mad love.
2006-09-17 17:44:27 · answer #8 · answered by marygold2012 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know that anyone can tell you the real reason for the breakup as only time and honesty will tell. however, I would not go to the airport unless to show off on him. I think you should just take time out to heal and do something very good for yourself and then move on again
2006-09-17 18:00:52 · answer #9 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go to the airport, don't give him any power over you. If he sees you are still chasing him he can use that. If he wants to try again, by all means let him do the asking and take it slowly. I know how long it can take to build up trust again. Ask yourself if you would ever be able to trust him anyway.
Again, don't go to the airport. Whatever your intentions are not to talk to him I bet you wouldn't be able to resist and that would put you in the weaker position. Be strong.
2006-09-18 04:27:47 · answer #10 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋