Do you have a parent that begs you to live with them? and/or does that parent depend on you? my mother does not want to work and depends on me. Would it be mean if I just moved out and left my mother to be responsible for herself?
2006-09-17 09:53:50 · 9 answers · asked by Mercury5_7 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She is 59 and does not have any disabilities.
2006-09-17 10:00:21 · update #1
It is not mean to move out on your parent. They may not like it, but nobody on earth will say it is appropriate for parents to hold their children emotional hostage!
It is hard to get out from under a guilt trip a parent lays on you, but that is what is needed for your health and happiness in life... good luck...
2006-09-17 09:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by jarm 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she is physically and mentally capable of holding a job that will support her, then no, it's not mean to move out. I wouldn't do it all of a sudden, though. I would give her a time frame. Say, in six months you plan to be in your own place. That gives her time to adjust to the idea, and gives you time to find a place you can be happy in. Reassure her that you're not abandoning her, and that you'll visit and help her with things. She's still your mom, so treat her gently, and maybe this won't be too hard on either of you.
Edited to add... also, she's probably afraid of being lonely - unless there are other children living with her - so that's why it would be good to let her know that you'll still come around and visit, etc.
2006-09-17 10:02:47 · answer #2 · answered by milomax 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How did your mother live before you became an adult who could support her? I think she can get by somehow without obligating you. I can't imagine a parent doing that to her child. Your mother needs therapy, I think.
2006-09-17 10:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by honiebyrd 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is she doing this out of her own insecurity, or out of laziness or attention?
No matter what the reason, you should not feel guilted into staying there. If she is just doing it for attention, you would be enabling her to continue this little game of hers.
However, if she truly does need help, perhaps you could help her find it through a local agency. But do NOT feel guilted into staying there. You deserve to have a life of your own.
2006-09-17 10:01:18 · answer #4 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No it wouldn't be mean just rude. She is your mother and you need to make her see you are an adult. Maybe she has problems that are hard for her to talk about at the moment. Find out what is going on first before you run out on her.
2006-09-17 09:58:40 · answer #5 · answered by Branded with the Dark Mark 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is natural that parents take care of children while they can. And children should take care of parents when they must. If your mother is capable of taking care of herself then you will not be doing anyone a favor by doing it for her. She will give up pursuing her own life if she can live yours for you. And once people give up their own life, are they really living at all?
WK
2006-09-17 09:58:11 · answer #6 · answered by olin1963 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you old enough to move out just do it - if you stay longer the situation is going to sack you in and is harder to get out.
You are not obligated take financial responsibility of healthy - lazy mother.
2006-09-17 09:58:31 · answer #7 · answered by Toto 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that is somewhat basic: once you're staying in HER abode, you abide by making use of HER regulations or you pass someplace else. era. in case you do no longer choose her telling you what to do, then get a job and get your guy or woman place. Heck, i will pass one step further: in the journey that your mom/mum and dad are paying for you to pass to college then you definately're being especially darned ungrateful by making use of attempting to declare your "rights" on an identical time as finding on her/them for room and board. in case you have been my son and giving me that style of attitude i'd rigidity you to pass out and pay your guy or woman way via college.
2016-10-01 02:01:37 · answer #8 · answered by dunkelberger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't provided many details. What is her age, her health and other factors?
2006-09-17 09:56:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋