I have been engaged to my fiance for about 2 months and things are not working. I let him move in with me right after we got engaged and damn, he just doesn't do **** right. He leaves clothes on the floor, dirty dishes in the bedroom, and has to be reminded of stuff that he should do. And he is so bad with money. I told him if he were to live with me he would have to contibute and when it's time to pay bills, something always "comes up". I can do bad all by myself and don't need any help. What to do?
2006-09-17 09:39:50 · 16 answers · asked by vernise2679 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know if I still love him, but not in love with him anymore. And right now I'm so pissed at him, I'm not speaking to him.
2006-09-17 09:56:54 · update #1
There are 2 faces in this problem.
The first, wich you had clearly described above. It's easy to solve, you just say to him "these are the rules and this is the monthly budget" or "my way or the highway".
The other face, wich comes to me as more important is that you're not in love with him anymore!!!!
You never mention that you have a decision to make, bcause you already madeit, you're just looking for the easiest way to proceed.
Just do it, better sooner than later!!
2006-09-17 09:50:01 · answer #1 · answered by Carlos 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well do you love him? If so then talk to him and give him a chance to change. If he doesn't make the attempt or you don't love him then be honest with him and tell him that you don't think it will work. My husband can be a lazy slob sometimes and I love him to death. I wouldn't want to end things on such a trivial matter. Relationships are very hard and there will always be things that drive you nuts about whoever you marry. It's only human. Good luck!
2006-09-17 09:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by AB11 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
iv been married 4 years and before i got married i made sure i knew who and what i was getting myself into. just think if thats how he is now and you complain it will only get worse from here. i was engaged to a man for 6 years and had similar problems. not saying all men are the same but i wasnt going to let history repeat itself. (my mom and dad) you deserve better. you need a MAN not a little boy. someone who wants the samethings in life even if its only clean dishes. theres only one way to break it off. tell him you arent going in the same direction in life. your not happy and getting married will only be a band aid to your relationship. there really isnt any easy solution to this. someone always will be hurt in breaking up . good luck hope you find someone who will make you happy and be neat and responable
2006-09-17 09:51:24 · answer #3 · answered by HEATHER O 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys really do need help IF you do get married. You really don't want to get into something that you know is not going to work but you need to talk to him and if he is not willing to make things right then tell him you are done.
Marriage is VERY hard after a while of being married.
You don't want to start it w/ all these problems.
2006-09-17 11:42:41 · answer #4 · answered by sarah 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first tell him what you are feeling - dont bottle it up as it'll make things worse. tell him you dont want a freeloader and he has to pay his share and do some house work or you'll ask him to move out as you cant take life like this. If he still does nothing try living apart again to see if you still love him. If not it will be easier to say goodbye if he dont live there.
2006-09-17 11:19:19 · answer #5 · answered by tspoonteddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are at the point of no return and really want to break it off with him, then you are just going to have to tell him. There is no other way and lets face it, if he now has the maid service, money assistance and a free roof, why would he leave if you don’t tell him to do so?
2006-09-17 10:31:16 · answer #6 · answered by 75160 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
have u mentioned anything about breaking up? if not u should, if u threaten it enough, he'll start doing his part. and if he doesn't then maybe the 2 of u should split up and if he really loves u and wants to be with u he WILL do his part and start helping out. and if he doesn't straighten up then, maybe u shouldn't be together.
2006-09-17 09:45:54 · answer #7 · answered by melissathornton23 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's no easy way to do it. Just be straightforward and honest, and speak calmly and rationally. Explain all the reasons why you feel the way you do.
2006-09-17 09:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give the ring back and tell him to move out. Apparently, you have really high expectations for whomever you share your life with.
2006-09-17 09:47:03 · answer #9 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him to get out of the house. If you have all those problems already, you do not need him.
2006-09-17 11:06:34 · answer #10 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋