What do you do when All your friends hate your other friend?

Question

I have a friend who is having a rough time right now. I guess you could say he is in a rutt, he doesn't have a job, he moved back in with his parents, and all he does all day is play video games. When he comes to hang out is always so bitter and rude to everyone. I think it's cause he see's us being successful and happy and he is stuck. All my friends say they are sick of being treated like crap and they talk trash on them. I still like him and I like them. I'm just trying to figure out a way to please everyone. what do I do?

Answer 1

Please yourself.

Answer 2

It is obvious that your friend to see you all being successful and him still behind schedule. Very stressing in times like these, for him. First of all, what you should do is invite him out. Just the two of you. The movies, a good place to eat, the beach, video arcade game, anything. While you're there, talk to him, tell him something about his situation, ask him if there's anything you can do to help him get through his situation, lend him a hand. Let him know how you feel about his rudeness and bitterness. Make him feel comfortable. Let him know that you don't want to stop being his friend, and that no matter what he's going through, you will still be his friends.

You then pass it on to your other friends, and together you lend him a hand. Throw him a little party. Order pizzas, drinks, snacks, movies, etc. Have fun together. Have each one of your friends chat with him. Let him choose the movie, let him choose the topping for the pizza, let him choose the drinks.

What you're doing here is letting him know that no matter what he's going through, you're still his friend. Second, you all appreciate his company. Third, you make him feel less left behind. He does feel left behind at this time, so it is up to all of you how you want to deal with this. If this doesn't work, then it would have to be farewell for your friend. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well, first off: It's almost impossible to please everyone without losing a big chunk of yourself and exhausting your emotional resources.

Several years ago, I had a friend like yours but it was even worse because I allowed him to rent a room in my home. My friends began to dread seeing him and my boyfriend wanted to scream in his face for being such a constant jerk.

It seemed like no one could say anything around him that was 'right.' He found fault with everything and everyone. I finally had to tell him that when I had company he wasn't allowed to venture into my area of the house.

I also didn't invite him anywhere anymore because of his behavior. I spoke with him about it time and time again but he wouldn't budge. He'd always say: 'This is ME! No one should ask me to change who I am!'

However, the problem is this: That ISN'T who people 'just are'. That behavior can be altered....and it should be. FAST.

I'd say talk to him as soon as you can. Tell him you can't handle the stress anymore and that his anger is beginning to seep into and poison your nerves. Make him understand that no matter how much you want to help him, you aren't going to sacrifice your sanity for ANYONE, much less someone who treats undeserving people like dog crap.

I ended up saying that to my friend/tenant. He promptly moved out and never spoke to me again. Be prepared for the worst possible reaction and don't be surprised if that's how it ends. We all wish for a perfect solution but rarely does it ever happen.

You might lose your angry friend for good. But keep in mind... Your other friends will probably see it as a pleasant show of loyalty on your part and thank you for it, tenfold.

Good luck... I know you're going to need it...

H

Answer 4

either your friend in a rutt is a real looser (in which case you wouldnt want him as a friend because those type of people drag you down with them) OR he just needs a little bit of a help getting out of a rutt. my suggestion, try to be a true friend and try to help him out. see if he needs help finding a job or if he just needs someone to talk to. dont give up on your friend just yet but remember that you can only help people that want to help themselves.

Answer 5

encourage your friend to get a job and to move on in life, perhaps he should think about school

everyone moves on as he has to do what is good for him

your friend is having less and less in common with the group and that is why he is slipping. Don't be mean or slander him because he is your friend.

But you can't help if you are going separte directions...

Answer 6

You are a really great friend to him and that is what he needs, he is not going to tell you he needs you but he does. Help support him, try to help him be successful and happy, dont rub it in his face that you are cause it will make him act a lot worse.

Answer 7

hmm

its not everyone elses friendship, the friendship belongs to him and you.

if they have an issue about it then tell them they should tell him and not you, and they should act like a mature adult.

oh one other thing . to try and please everyone is widely knowing as some one who is about into a state of failure.

people are who they are and people should not think of themselves so much like they are perfect huh?

Answer 8

Keep the moody dude away from your other friends. You can hang out with both but keep them apart...

Answer 9

I've been in that situation before. I told my friends that the person they don't like hasn't done anything to me and I am going to keep being her friend. I said if you have bad things to say about that person please keep it to yourself. You just have to stay strong.

Answer 10

talk to him. tell him that it's not their fault because he's stuck. tell him that he should be more polite with your other friends and that he should try to make the most out of it when he gets out of the house with you and your friends.

Answer 11

Have a very long talk with the friend that doesn't have a job and get him motivated!!!!!