Trying to get over my wife of 12 years and I am fairly sure it is a done deal, every time I come to terms with I cannot get her back and cannot make her do what she does not want to do, it lasts for awhile but then I want to call, or write, or text, or send flowers to try again, then when that dosen't work I am right back to there is nothing I can do. It is a nasty cycle that I cannot seem to get out of, anybody else there? Anybody else been there and have any advice?
2006-09-17 08:36:35 · 12 answers · asked by jbrown280000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Move on and try to forget about her. She already has.
2006-09-17 08:41:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, move forward, quit looking backward. You are staying stuck on this because you are keeping yourself there. Its really just a decision to leave it where it is and go forward.
It takes time, but time in itself doesn't fix anything, its what you do with the time that counts. If you spend that time doing nothing but thinking about what was yesterday that is how you will spend your tomorrows. You have to grieve, but give yourself a limit, after that push yourself forward, no matter how much you don't want to, keep busy doing things that make you happy, at first it will serve no real purpose except distracting your brain, but eventually you will find joy in them again.
Take care of yourself physically, don't start eating junk, you need to be strong and give your body what it needs, read some great books, listen to great music, DANCE (nobody can be sad when they dance) even if its home by yourself, spend time with friends and family, work out, join a gym, take a class, go on a date, volunteer in your community with people or dogs if you prefer. Do the things you gave up for your relationship. Soon you will find yourself understanding what went wrong and ready to try again. Good luck, be patient with yourself, and remember it will get better!
2006-09-17 08:43:41 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest to find someone else to take up your time. If you are not interested in finding someone else, find something to do, like a hobby or take a class or volunteer your time. You might as well face the fact that if she was coming back to you, she would have. There is nothing you can do to fix this, just let it go. Easier said than done, however worrying about it will not fix what is broken. She will come around if she is interested. No use in sitting around dwelling on this making your life miserable. Get out of the house and do something with your life. Good luck.
2006-09-17 09:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you are going to get rid of your cycle is to learn to accept the fact that she is no longer and doesn't wish to be in your life. To grieve about it and to come to terms that you may need some counseling it get through it. Someone objective and who won't judge your feelings.
12 year is a long time. And so I suspect those feelings may hang around a bit, but with the right support, you can learn to handle the "go get her," feelings better. So, what do you like to do? When you get upset what are some things you enjoy doing? Write down a list and do them. Get a new hobby and almost network yourself with others. Surround yourself with friends and families. Make new friends if needed. Try to focus on yourself. Take care of you.
The more you focus on you...the more the feelings of her will lessen. And then they come...you don't avoid them...you look at them, reflect on them, and then get up and get going again.
Seek some counseling if needed. And good luck.
K
2006-09-17 08:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by kaiynasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen a couple of your questions before, so I went to your Q&A page and my first suggestion is to get off of Yahoo Answers dwelling on the subject and go do something constructive. Take a walk. Go fishing. Play ball with your kids. Just DO something other than sit around and feel sorry for yourself. No woman wants a whiny man and if you really want her back you need to do something positive to remind her of the man she married and fell in love with originally.
I'm not trying to be mean, but dwelling on unhappiness only makes us more unhappy and nothing good can ever come of this. Stand up straight, put a smile on your face, and go take your kids to the park or something. I'm sure they'd love to spend some quality time with their dad and you would thereby feel better too.
2006-09-17 08:44:14 · answer #5 · answered by Kate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what its like to have a broken heart and feel like it will never heal. It's not an easy situation and don't let ANYONE tell you that it is. You need to mourn, so mourn. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel better. If she hasn't come back yet chances are she won't be back....she's moved on. I am sorry for your broken heart and I wish you the best. Time heals all things....believe me. It might be a while but you are going to be okay...just remember to stay strong! Phillipieans 4:13- I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. God is here to mend your broken heart so when nothing else works why not just give him a shot!! :)
2006-09-17 08:42:05 · answer #6 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That just breaks my heart....I am so sorry...the only thing I can think of is surrounding yourself with friends and family. Do you have any children...make time with them as much as possible. Get out the house...even if it is going to watch a movie or something. Try new things...it can be easy things like bowling if you've never done it (Like who really has never been bowling...it was just an example) Just make sure you don't dwell on it and maybe the new you might find a new her.... ;~)(Honestly if you love her like you seem to love her ...fight for her...she might have just wanted some time...figure out what problem she had with you and fix it...that will show her that you really want her.)
2006-09-17 08:44:17 · answer #7 · answered by kikosgirl83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-01 01:57:49 · answer #8 · answered by dunkelberger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals. If you guys have tried and its not working, maybe you're better off as friends and you have to control yourself and make it be that. Yes, you want to call or write her, and you probably always will, but the difference is acting on it. Maybe she needs time and let her make the move. I know its hard, very hard, but keep yourself occupied with things you enjoyed. Only you control the cycle by acting on what you want to do. Control it by not acting on it, and let her come around...
2006-09-17 08:41:38 · answer #9 · answered by ConfusedK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is done then it is done, get over it and move on. You are not doing yourself any good emotionally so just move on.
2006-09-17 10:27:18 · answer #10 · answered by morris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋