Who believes in the old tradition?..?

Question

I think the old tradition of a man having to cater women with opening doors and always paying for the meal is ridiculous. Also I hate it when people say, what a "man" has to do and what he doesn't for him to qualify him as a man. I hate those sterotypes.

When it comes to relationships I do believe in fairness and equality though.

Whats your opinion on this?

Answer 1

i believe in equality in relationships however my partner is very much a gentleman with opening doors and being the bread winner I don't think that either of these things make me less or him more we just fulfill different roles to make each of our work load less i am an educated woman and could be more of a financial provider for us but it is more important to both of us that i act as a homemaker full time i don't believe that his working and my not working makes him a 'man' or me a 'woman' it just happens to be what works for us as far as opening the doors goes i see it as a sign that he respects me and the same for me cooking him dinner it is a way to show respect and love to him i do understand that these are stereotypical roles but i also think that doing it because you choose to makes it more fair than being forced into it

Answer 2

The days where men paid for everything and did everything for women are gone.
Womens' bid for equal rights hit them in the face on this one. Quite often the woman makes more than a man, so why pay for her?
The one who initiates the date should pay. Opening doors is a dating ritual. It is quickly forgotten after the vows are read.
If you're dating it's required. If your married, let her open her own damn door!

Answer 3

I don't think a man or woman should be confined to strict guidelines in order to be defined as one or the other.

However, as a woman, I do enjoy having the door opened for me by men. I do warm toward men who do treat me in the traditionally chivalrous way.

Some women don't like having their meals paid for by men and some do. For me, it would depend on the circumstances. If it were someone I just met, I'd prefer to buy my own meal.

Basically, in a marriage or relationship, I think the couple should work as a team and sit down and work out what each person expects of the other.

Answer 4

When a man sees a lady,he instinctively wants to go up
to her and say "I respect you".None ever do that though.
They do things like open doors and pay for her meal to
show their respect.Maybe you don't feel that way,but
no one says you have to.But I do hate the stereotype
that says you have to have sex with someone before you
are a man/woman.Or you have to go to war and kill someone
to become a man.These ideas came from some very evil
minds.So,I kind of agree with you about that.

Answer 5

I think people of many people of a variety of genders (and nongenders) would appreciate others holding open doors and occaisionally buy food for them. The question asker didnt say remove those curtesies. The question asker asked about equal access to them ^_~

As a social scientist, I agree that equality is socially healthier.
I do not appreciate gender segregation.
I've included a portion of one of my papers, as well as a link to the full paper below.

(Midterm page 1)

(speaking of functionalism)
"According to this theoretical paradigm, parts of a society tend to compliment each other to create social stability. (p. 9 Lorber)"

However, the terms "productive" and "stable" must be examined carefully; in a society where gender also serves to oppress the majority of the population, both are subjective terms and open to wide interpretation. (Even the group holding the most power is subject to standards of conformity.)

...if we were to look at gender as a social institution , it would be revealed as a "basis for inequality in society because it is through gender that resources, power, and privilege are [unequally] distributed. (p.8 Lorber)" A prime example of these unequal exchanges of power between gendered groups is the construction of hegemonic masculinity and emphasized femininity.

Answer 6

i believe that a man should be a gentleman but the women could pay for the dinner and open the door once in a while too

Answer 7

I agree! The only time I had my boyfriend open doors for me was after I had surgery and couldn't pull the door open. Whoever gets to the door first opens it, that's the way it should be!

Answer 8

I agree, but there're some women out there who prefer the old tradition at first. Better to use that to woo them and then bring up the fairness and equality bit, they'll be much more inclined to agree with you.

Answer 9

I like having doors opened for me, but I'll open them myself if I get there first and I don't expect them to get opened for me.

As far as paying goes, I want to pay for myself unless it's a ways into the relationship and it's a special occation (like my birthday).

Answer 10

so in other words you don't care to be a gentleman, have manners or to be courteous? if you were married and went grocery shopping with your wife, does that mean she would be expected to carry all the groceries? how does it look when you are sitting in the driver's seat while she is pumping the gas or changing a flat tire? is this what you call fairness & equality?