How do you prevent a divorce?

Question

My parents are thinking of a divorce and I am deeply hurt. I want to prevent it in any way possible! What is the best and worst way to do this? I love both my parents and I need to fix their problems.

Answer 1

If they have decieded to divorce they will have it , very difficult for you to solve this problem of theirs. They are so envolved in their fight that now they are thinking about them only. Had they been thinking about youself they wouldnt have decieded to divorce. Now i have seen one case of same type in my life which was solved by the thretning of their son . One of my friend couple had decieded to divorce each other when their 13 yrs son told them if they will not stop it and not live a united life again he will suicide . Then suddendly they changed their mind and had started living a normal life.
YOU may try the same if you like.

Answer 2

You have really asked a difficult question to answer. Why a marriage fails has many reasons? Unfortunately, it is the decision made by elders and there is little you can do about it.
But, there is no reason to despair. Sometimes the problem, is that married couples can't even find the time to talk to each other for months.
Remember, communication, between your parents is, what is needed. If you can ask your parents to plan, a family holiday for a week or so to some distant place (may be camping or fishing etc). They will have some time on their own to talk about their problems and it is possible that they may change their mind.

Answer 3

When you get married, make sure he is your other half. By that I mean, that he is nice, smart, and makes you feel special. Try and remember that no relationship is perfect. You will have your ups and downs.
Just think about your relationship between your siblings/parents/whoever with you and how many times you fought. But no matter how angry both parties got, in the end everyone forgave each other and moved on, right? Same goes for marriage. Make sure to give and receive, be considerate of their feelings, and let the small things go. It's ridiculous to argue over the fact that he didn't open the car door for you. Maybe he forgot or maybe he thinks that it's not important anymore.

Whatever the case may be, it is important that BOTH parties try to work things out.

Here's a page you can visit that might help you cope better:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/divorce.html

Answer 4

Your parents have their own lives and the ability to make their own choices, so if it's inevitable that they will divorce there is nothing you can do to prevent it. The problems they are having probably come from before you were even born, and a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. Perhaps they are just growing apart, or the paths they have chosen through life no longer coincide with each other.

That's just how life is. You need to be able to talk with one or both of them and let them know exactly how you feel, and try to get REALISTIC feedback from them as to why they're divorcing. "He/she did or does this or that and I hate it!" is not a reason to divorce. That's just childish and selfish. But if they disagree on religion, politics, ethics, or simply need to find new paths for themselves that their partner is unwilling or unable to partake in, then they should separate and find their own happiness.

The unfortunate part is that their children often get in the way, and the real jerks use their kids for leverage against each other. That's unhealthy and wrong, and only teaches kids that marriage is horrible. You need to try to understand exactly WHY they want to separate, stay out of any arguments and do not choose sides. Accept whatever happens, and DO NOT blame yourself for any of it. As much as we'd like to fix someone else's problems, we are each ultimately responsible for our own happiness and need to choose our own life.

Answer 5

Obviously, they are aware of at least one problem in their relationship (who isn't?). The first step is to see if they are both interested in making the relationship work; if either of them aren't then you are just whistling Dixie, because it can't be fixed. The next step is to determine what the problem is; maybe the problem can be fixed, that would make the job easiest, but maybe not. The next step is to pinpoint what it was that brought the two together in the first place; was it her smile or his grin or what? Finally, ask each of them to draw up a list of the things they like about each other and a list of the things that really repulse them. Exchange the lists and see if they can work out the bad things and reflect on the good things.

If this fails, be prepared to receive twice as many gifts; every cloud has a silver lining.

Answer 6

I understand that this is hard, but you need to understand that is something only the two of them can fix
problems can't be fix by third party especially one that is so close
to the problem
what you need to do is talk to them and ask them if they can please see a marriage counselor before starting the divorce proceeding
maybe by having a complete stranger to talk too
their might be a chance
but also you need to understand that they are divorcing each other and not you because of you they will always be a family
Lots of prayer your way
Good Luck

Answer 7

You cant fix anything for them. Precious You. What u can do is try to be patient with them as they tread thru these unchartered waters. Even *if they decide to end this mariage...this does not mean that they stop loving you or each other. Ofcorse, you want them to be happy and sometimes going in seperate directions is the only way for people to reach a better understanding and a better place with each other. The Love that thay hold for you will never end, even if the marriage does. One thing that you can do is to pray for their happiness and that God fill your spirit with peace & understanding. Somestimes when love changes, it just changes in its form, thats all. Try to hold on to your love for them, even if they become stressed out and act out of character from how they usually act. My parents talked about divorce alot and we the kids, begged them not to...as it turned out they did stay together, but they were always sad and very unhappy...and they tried and tried, just for us. Now as an adult, I really am heartbroken that they were so unhappy and sad for all of their lives, bc it just did not have to be that way. I wish that I had not interfered. Stay strong and take good care of yourself, which is always something that will make a parent feel happy :) Many Blessings 2 you.

Answer 8

First u need to realize u cant fix their problems..more then likely u dont even know the full reasons why they want a divorce since most parents will only tell u "what u need to know" and nothing further..

Its hard watching 2 people u love going through this, i know im the daughter of 2 parents that got divorced.. i was extremely young as i was only 6 when it happened, but for years after i day dreamed of a day they'd get back together "even" after my father had gotten remarried ..but i didnt know the whole story till i was much much older.. (my mother was the one that walked out on all of us because she didnt want the responsibilities of being a wife or a mother she wanted to be single again, and my father had custody of us kids)..

The only thing u can do is sit down with your parents and get them to try to focus on you.. and how its making u feel them going through this, and try to get them to focus on the good times there use to be, and how after so many years they should know that all marriages have ups and downs, and how do they know that its just not a down cycle ?? ask them to go to counseling to do everything it takes before throwing in the towel for good.. BUT always realize theres nothing u can do more then that, they are grown adults that have to make their own decisions , right or wrong.. and know that they both love u more then life itself.. but sometimes people just cant hold it together anymore.. but it will not be from a lack of something u did, or didnt do.. it will be from their own lack of something they did or didnt do.. .. and learn from their mistakes when it comes to ur time in ur life to make decisions on marriage and how much it takes to "Stay" even when times are hard.. Good luck, and i hope they find themselves again for your sake..

Answer 9

The best way is to do this:
I. Ask:
What is the reason for their actions? Is it worth it?

II. Remind them:
What is Marriage?
Marriage is not just a piece of paper nor an assurance to tied-up to. Love is where it all starts; without love there is nothing to tie the two half to become one, because love is unconditional it requires RESPECT,SENSIBILITY, EMPATHY, PATIENCE and *COMMUNICATION. Life is difficult, we know that. Trials to a certain degree could make couple loose their visions and goals and crumble into unplanned track and regret. They should never collide especially in the negative sense. It sounds like this, "I could fly higher than an eagle for you are the wind beneath my wings!"

Talk to them patiently, laid all your concerns in that way they would know you are not numb and you are affected by their effect. Let them know you are there. If they don’t really know what’s happening in your side, inform them they might stoop down with their pride and learn to compromise.

Because in any cases lack of the above mentioned will cause:
-lost of trust
-selfishness
-own boundaries
-increasing self assurance without the other half -
-close minded
-insecurities
-collision between both side
-Less communication or much repeatedly nonsense nagging.
-nagging
-Infidelity
-Fling/Cheat
-Inconsiderate
-And so

III. Let them hear this:
*Without hope there is nothing.
*If you want it, you grab it. If don’t want it, you always have alibis.

IV. Let them hear this from you:
If they let their ego control them or if they are really fed up with each other do they really consider divorce a solution? In fact if they make another relationship there is a very slim change of not repeating the situation. There’s no satisfaction only selfishness.

Answer 10

There is no way for you to prevent it, but go to them and tell them that every decision they make affects you and how your relationships will be. Make sure that if they do get divorced you understand why and take that experience and apply it to yourself when you become involved with someone. The key is to learn from mistakes so that they don't happen again, not to repeat them. Good luck sweetheart.