He wants phone sex, but is reluctant to meet up to make the relationship physical. I have been friends with this guy for 14 years and have a very frank friendship with him, but I am maried. I love this guy, but shoud I leave my husband for him wen he is reticient about telling me how he really feels.
2006-09-17 07:17:13 · 25 answers · asked by bunny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One question...how do you feel about your husband? If there is a chance, please work on your marriage. I know that things can feel very stale when you're married for a while, and other men might seem like they'd be better, but, please give your husband and your marriage another chance. Try to focus on the reasons why you married your husband... remember how things were in the honeymoon phase.
Best wishes-
from a grandma-aged person
2006-09-17 07:21:22 · answer #1 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love your husband, and it sounds like the answer is "NO" or this wouldn't be a question. Then why would you leave him for a fantasy?
Phone sex is just a fantasy with a voice. The reason your friend is reluctant to make it physical, is probaby because it would ruin his fantasy. When on the phone he can be care free and imagine you to look like anybody he wants. Apparently he doesn't want a real relationship. If after 14 years he still likes the fantasy, why ruin it by making it "real." You already know how he really feels. He doesn't love you, only the fantasy you have created for him.
Grow up, live up to your commitment to your husband.(remember "'till death do us part?") If you put as much effort on him as you do your "friend." You wouldn't be asking this kind of question, because you wouldn't be acting like this. Marriage isn't an easy thing. You have to constantly be aware and work on it or it won't work. On the other hand, if your so miserable with your husband that you need this kind of extra curricular activity, then maybe you should try being alone for a while to figure out what would make you happy. It doesn't seem like either of the men in your life are what you're truley looking for.
2006-09-17 14:33:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are on the wrong path. You shouldn't leave your husband just because you have known this guy 14 years and your best friends. You would make a big mistake if you did. He is reluctant because he knows it's best not to get physical with you. He would never be able to trust you in a relationship. What your doing to your husband you could defintely do to him, and don't think he isn't thinking that no matter how good of friends you both are. If this guy was really serious about being with you he would have made that clear by now and would be begging you to leave your husband. He knows better, and you should to. It would devistate your husband and you should care more about him where this is concerned. How would you like it if you were in your husband's shoes and this was happening to you? Don't let your heart do the talking right now. Be smart and look at the bigger picture.
2006-09-17 14:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Where to start? Hmmm....
Well, first, why are you seeking a relationship outside of your marriage? Is your marriage that bad? If so, maybe you should start by getting out of that relationship before starting another.
Second, is this a case of the grass appearing greener on the other side of the fence? Based on your comments, it appears you have your doubts. That ought to tell you something right off the bat.
Third, what makes you think that this guy is really all that interested in you? After all, if you are married and willing to leave your husband for him, why the heck should he trust you to stay with him??!!?? I sure as hell wouldn't if I were him.
My advice is to break off all contact with this outsider and focus your energy and attention on making your marriage work. If that's not possible, then have enough respect for your husband to divorce him before jumping into relationship with a third person. You owe him that at least.
2006-09-17 14:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by Desiderata of Happiness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are married and have known this guy for years, he is hoping to use phone sex to "be with you" even though he knows he can't. If you are even considering leaving your husband for him, obviously you have problems in that relationship that for at least an instant gave you the idea that leaving would be good.
In my opinion, tell this guy to stop asking for phone sex or anything else...and try and work out whatever problems if your marriage that made you consider leaving...You love the man you are married to for a reason. And that reason is why you married him and not the other guy.
2006-09-17 14:26:38 · answer #5 · answered by Dante 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love your husband? Are there children involved?
If yes, then why are you having phone sex with a "friend". If he was your friend then he would want to meet you to spend time with you, purely for the fact that your are friends.
But, he doesn't sound like a friend.
So no, don't leave your husband for this guy who sounds like a prat. If your relationship is over with your husband then talk about it and get a divorce and get on with your life. If you love your husband ditch this phone guy, and concentrate on your marriage
2006-09-18 13:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by jaynie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
14 years ..and phone sex..and reluctant to meet you. There's your answer..that's about the only "feelings" he has for you.
I don't you think you have a good relationship with him or your husband either. If you love your husband, work on that..THAT would be much more worth saving or pursing than your phone buddy. If that can't work then divorce your husband as it's not fair to him..and start over..but not with they guy on da phone.
2006-09-17 14:21:40 · answer #7 · answered by svmainus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if this guy is into the phone sex fantasy only. It doesn't sound as if he wants a real relationship but is titillated by the fact that you are having a covert "friendship" with him while also being married. People are what they do - not what they say. If he can't be authentic with you and tell you how he feels, then he's "playing" you.
2006-09-17 14:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he is being manipulative. At least that is what it sounds like to me. If he was serious, he would ask you to leave your husband and see him exclusively.
You must be heartsick about this. I hope you can make some decisions soon. Do you still love your husband? Do you want to leave him even if you don't get with this other man? Try to see how you feel about these questions and you may get some answers.
Good luck to you.
2006-09-17 14:20:33 · answer #9 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear god, do NOT leave your husband for that spineless fool - if he can't even commit to meeting you in person, he's not worth killing a marriage over. And next time he wants phone sex, give an 0898 number out of the back of Bizarre magazine or something.
2006-09-17 16:07:57 · answer #10 · answered by valiumgodmother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋