My husband is 30 and I am 36 we've been married for 8 years, in those 8 years I feel like our sex life is horrible. When we do have sex, its on his terms, they way he wants it so on and so on. He says I don't come onto him, but when I do he can't see to perform unless he's fully in control, like smacking my butt or pulling my hair, things I don't like. He always wants me to perform oral sex on him, when I ask for it in return he says he tired. Also he only wants me to lay on my stomach so he can do it from behind, there is never any compassion to it at all, I feel dirty and used all the times. I try and talk to him but it doesn't help. He is always making remarks about women in my face, and he says oh I am only kidding. I don't think this is a good sitiuation.
2006-09-17 06:26:38 · 36 answers · asked by joyce1470 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are right, this isn't a good situation. Get out of there. He sounds like a control freak and people like that rarely change. Also if he does things that he knows you don't like then he obviously has no respect for you.
A life alone is better than a life with a control freak but you are still young. Divorce his butt and find someone who appreciates you.
2006-09-17 07:22:54 · answer #1 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-18 11:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a lady to let all that go on if you didn't like it.. .. wow. You deserve to get it how you like too no matter what that may be and he should respect your desires.
And before you go down on him make sure he does his part 1st that way he cant say "im tired". But honestly a woman that would go to such lenghts to please her man deserves and has earned her tiara. A good lover will put your wants and needs 1st because giving you pleasure will in turn bring them pleasure.
Show up one day with a whip and straps to let him know who the goddess is and how he can pay homage to you.
2006-09-17 07:04:50 · answer #3 · answered by se7en 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hunny, I have been there done that. I think it is a combo of a few things. First off, his opinion of women must be very low, he is more or less telling you that you are there to perform one vital function and that is it. It could be for several reasons. He could be so insecure himself, he has got to be "Higher" then you to make himself feel good. It could be that he thinks that is all you are good for (some men have that perspective when things aren't good with their mothers'.) You must put a stop to this before you lose yourself, and you will. Seek counseling, even if he won't, Do NOT allow him to cloud your perspective on yourself and who and what you are!
2006-09-17 06:31:26 · answer #4 · answered by babydoll121070 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with this control freak? He sounds like a real turd. You are not his poonatng slave. doing you only from behind indicates that he's probably gay. He hurts you instead of working on giving you pleasure. You don't need to be with a man like this. As much as I despise divorce, I think that's the way to go. He's using you for a ho and not his wife. I'm sorry for you. Stop sucking his c*ck, especially if you don't enjoy it, it's a form of rape. Get away from this turd.
2006-09-17 06:33:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well tell him you are leaving, then say I am only kidding and walk out that door,, you are in your prime,, find someone else who will love you for you, and respect you in the bed,, tons of us single guys who would love to perform oral sex on you...
it is a mentally abusive relationship, he is dominating you and controlling you, that is abuse,, and you are co-dependant on it,,
GET OUT NOW< and get help,,
2006-09-17 06:29:52 · answer #6 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl just leave him. Do you know why I say that?. It's cause later on he's going to cheat on you and when you do find out he won't care if it hurts your feelings cause he going to keep doing it. he thinks ya'll are too boring so he might say it's over a day you won't expect it. then you might break down and cry and think nobody wants you. JUST LEAVE HIM CAUSE SOMEBODY IS WAY FINER THAN HIM WHO CAN TREAT YOU WAY BETTER WITH RESPECT. and i'm sure yu don't want to be on the Maury show about abusers.
2006-09-17 06:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you've put up with this for 8 years? You don't think this is a good situation. Oh boy. Time to grow a spine honey and dump this loser.
2006-09-17 06:57:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you do things you dont like? May start with trying to trust you and give you a little control Like tie up one on his hands. Something like that......... But whatever you do..... DONT do anything you dont want or like. This will only make you feel resentment. Good Luck
2006-09-17 06:32:35 · answer #9 · answered by Sophia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is who he is.. sorry but you might want to consider moving on ..
for one talk to him and tell him he either compromises with you and y'all work together with the sex or there will be no sex..
you have the right not to have sex .. if he refuses to work with you.. then one of you needs to move out.. even just a week or 2 to see how it goes..
and maybe get some counseling.. marriage and sex therapy
2006-09-17 06:31:36 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ Lisa♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋