To spank or not to spank?

Question

I'd like comment on this topic. Youth now a days has gone to the max, you have teenagers beatin their parents and even murdering them. I have a 13 yr old son who is 5'6", I am 5'3 and believe me if he ever was to raise a hand at me that would be the first and last. I think its bull that you cant discipline your kids like before. I know when I was growing up if I was to even raise my voice at my parents, that belt would come out. I grew up fine my brothers did to. Now a days all these Psch books out half of these authors dont have kids

Answer 1

i can remember going to school with belt marks on my legs and buttocks.. i raised my child with spankings and she turned out fine.. no children till she was 21 no jail time , no drug abuse and still is respectful,,im now raising a 2 yr old that gets spankings..

i told a counselor that we had coming into our home if she thought she could do a better job of raising my kids i would pack em a bag..i had the step child from hel! though she on the ther had had no disipline from her father and had 2 children by 19 a cocaine addict and lost both her children,,

so sorry to all you that think spanking is wrong... my experiences say that it never hurt any body..just puts a dent in your pride for a bit

Answer 2

I think it's a judgement call mom. There are some people that are capable of disciplining their children properly and some that just go way beyond necessary punishment. I'm sort of in the same boat you are. I'm 5'6" and my son is 6'0". He's 15 and way too old for spankings, yet he fears mom. I've raised my children to have respect for adults, to use manners and be responsible for their actions. It's worked. Once in awhile, I'll get the teenage flair up, but he knows not to cross the line. Mom's punishments as far as extra chores, are far worse than any spanking that can be dealt out.

And I whole heartedly agree with you on all the psych books that are out there. I'm sure their logic would change if they had to raise several of their own children. There is a huge difference between studying children who get to go home to their own parents and studying your own children who never leave.

Answer 3

I was spanked when i was young and i am OK and parents should be discipline there kids and you want be seeing them on TV talk shows crying and screaming about where they went wrong and have to send there kid to a military camp to do the job they suppose to do in the first place. I also know you are never to old to be spanked for my parents if i disrespected one of them and i was 100 years old they would knock me into the middle of next week.

Answer 4

I think that there are many ways of disciplining children. I also think that spanking doesn't teach them anything-- only that physical force is okay and to be more sneaky about what they are doing. I think it makes more sense to guide your children so they understand the consequences of what they are doing. That said, everything you do must be age appropriate, as the expectations from them should be as well. The problem with kids isn't so much that parents are afraid to raise their hand. I think it's that parents aren't consistent. Kids learn to push your buttons and too many parents are tired and just give in.

Answer 5

I spanked my kids when they were little. Now that they are grown I wish I had not. I have a lot of guilt over disciplining them.
At the time, as a single parent, I felt out of control and desperate. It was a very bad situation. On the positive side, they are both very well behaved and neither one has been in trouble and never were a problem in school.
My boyfriend who never spanked his kids has one who is about to go to prizon for driving on a suspended license from a DUI and another one who is just a mess. . Not that spanking has anything to do with it, but we chose different forms of discipline and its strange how things work out.
My dad whipped the poop out of me and all of my siblings and we all are well adjusted and work hard. He would have knocked our teeth out if we raised our voice to him. We were taught to respect him and our mother. None of us were ever in prizon or went to jail.

Answer 6

I definately agree. This caught my attention because just a couple days ago I had this talk with my ex mother-in-law. Between my boyfriend and I we have 5 kids and have been together 2 years..even made the step forward to move in together earlier this year. Even before we lived together we were together constantly at one another's houses. I had went out to eat with the kids and my ex inlaws (we all get along great) and I ended up having to get onto the kids when we were outside. Then after more not listening from them, and running around in the parking lot I got onto them AGAIN in the car. No spanking, no screaming..just a stern voice. Apparently the ex mom in law didn't agree that I should've been doing this. I stuck firm to my decision and said we are the only ones raising our kids and are ok with how we do it..we aren't abusive in any way shape or form ..in any way abuse can come. Somehow she turned that simple incident into emotional and mental abuse and that I would be the evil step mother to my bf's kids. This completely baffled me, because I agree..if a child needs spanked or put in the corner then have at it. The reasonable parents who "spank" don't beat the crap outta their children..and it seems seldom even use the same method of spanking as we got when we were little (sticks, belts, cooking utensils, etc) we now just use a simple hand. I just don't get it..and to TOP it all off..this is coming from a woman who only had ONE child and didn't even raise her child (let her parents raise the child when he turned about 5 or so). I just don't get it..and I can't stand to be criticized and when people never comment on the good things our kids do. We believe for the amount of kids we have they are especially good compared to others who we see acting out all the time. Thank gosh! Anyhow..I didn't mean for this whole story to unfold like this..but I guess it did anyhow..frustration gets the best of me at times I guess!! I do agree tho, in the end..we still do need to get onto our kids and yes I got in trouble plenty of times when I was little and I turned out just fine..along with my sis. In my eyes, I see how my ex dad in law tends to baby his children..and because of this they use him and disrespect him. My mom would never allow this, nor would I consider even ever treating my mom like this. Because of how I was raised, I have a bigger appreciation for my own things I get for myself and I respect my parents MUCH more than I could've. They also respect my boundaries as a parent now as well.

Answer 7

I don't see a question here?!

I think children do need to be spanked, but not when (or because) mom or dad get angry.

A lot of parents think their children are here to please them. They over-spank and it causes anger in their children's hearts.

I always make sure my son can tell me why he is getting spanked. I always make sure he understands that I don't enjoy doing it, but his bad behavior has required that I do it.

I only spank him when he has defied a clearly established rule. I do not spank him for things he cannot help doing.

Also, I have learned with my son to be creative. He is 9 and 5'0 tall and 97 pounds. If spanking is my only tool I will be in trouble when he's 12 and bigger than I am.

I get a lot more mileage out of withholding things he enjoys.

Answer 8

Definately spank. Kids these days get away with murder and if you so much as raise your voice to them some goody two shoes (who probably lives on a farm with no kids) reports you to social services.
Discipline teaches respect - no discipline = No respect - it's so obvious.

Answer 9

I have a 17 and twin 11 year old's and I spanked them. They know right from wrong and have great respect for every one.

Answer 10

I agree, beat their asses. I got spanked& my kids get spanked but there is a limit and spanking shouldnt be used for everything, just when the little turd gets out of control