We've been married almost a year and recently she went out to a bar with a female friend (single) to have a few drinks. I ended up going out for about 45min myself to the same place so saw her there / talked but had to jet due to an early morning.
Friend was driving and she ended up not coming home at all with no phone call to let me know. We had discussed if she was too drunk to either call me so I could pick her up or if she had to she could stay there but she didnt know what she really wanted to do at that point.
I left for work without her there and haven't talked to her as of yet due to my schedule but should I make this an issue? This is the 1st time since we've been married and I go out as well but always come home. She got her hair done in a new style that day and paid some extra attention to other area's which is what makes it so unusual to me.
Im pretty laid back normally but this whole scenario just has a funny feeling to it so what do you think?
2006-09-17 05:43:29 · 31 answers · asked by se7en 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
red alert red alert,, she got laid ,,red alert red alert
2006-09-17 05:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by Richie 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all, set aside your "funny" feelings until you find out what happened. It could have been a million and two things. I've been married for almost 18 years and I've done this a time or two myself. And there was no hanky panky going on. I'd get all prettied up just to go out with my girlfriends and then at bar time, we'd go to breakfast afterwards at the nearest Denny's or Perkins. By the time we are done catching up on each other's lives, it's morning. Sure, I look at the clock every now and then, but I wouldn't call because I didn't want to wake anyone up. I've done this maybe three or four times and after the first time, I'd warn my husband before I left, not to worry and only expect a call if something was wrong. He had my cell number in case he wanted to reach me. What I'm trying to say is it may be innocent. You are newlyweds honey, don't start things off on the wrong foot by guessing. Build on that open/honest relationship by simply asking her and telling her your concerns. She'll appreciate that far more than she would appreciate being accused of anything.
2006-09-17 05:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should confront the issue before it becomes a bigger issue. My husband did this last April which was 6 months before our wedding. It almost ended the engagement. I feel that if you are in a relatioship with someone (in our case,-engaged, had a child and living together) that person should deserve the respect to know where the other person is especially if they are too drunk to come home.
In our case, this would never be acceptable fo rme to do but for some reason that night he thought it was for him.
You need to make it very clear to her while you are not controlling her or the relatiosnhip that you deserve the respect for her to come home to you or if she's not to call you.
2006-09-17 05:58:13 · answer #3 · answered by psvoss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would she do if you did this to her...My issue with this, is that she should have enough respect to call or if shes too drunk a friend should of called you-Some people don't have common sense and don't think this is an issue. I would of been worried something had happened to her since you didn't hear from her-Its only a phone call for crying out loud-she should of given you one...no respect
2006-09-17 05:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by Page 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her play you. No matter how much you love her let her know that what she did is wrong. If she wants to stay out all night then move out. If you give in this time she will do it again. I hate to tell you this but she probably slept with another guy or is interested in someone. I know the game I used to be out there in it. This is just the beginning. Don't let her see you as a push over. If you do she'll take it to the limit. If she wants to play these games you don't need it. Respect is everything.
2006-09-17 05:49:38 · answer #5 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel that she owe you an explanation. A married woman should never go out to bars without you.
Nip it in the bud while it is not too late. That is when they started running around on you. She may give you a hard time but let her know how you feel that you did not feel comfortable of her going out all night long. If it does not work then start thinking about heading out the door. You love her but make sure all your finances is in order if she does bail out on you. Be smart or else you will be taken for everything. Goodluck.
2006-09-17 06:02:06 · answer #6 · answered by leyte6519 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can't be any good. If I were you I'd be sick to my stomach and would have called off work. You need to find out what's up with this obnoxious behavior before it destroys you. Your situatiion definately gives me a funny feeling. Don't be too laid back this time. Don't let your easy going personality get in the way of common sense. A decent wife doesn't behave in this fashion. Good luck.
2006-09-17 05:49:22 · answer #7 · answered by Johnny P 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think along with probable alcohol problems that you have a serious marital problem. (Of course one often leads to another) Her behavior is hardly conducive to trust, is it? She is not taking responsibility for her behavior, and it sounds like your communication is pretty poor. You both need some outside help or it will continue to get worse. Your average marital partner does not stay out all night without calling and without an explanation. Dr Phil would love this, but its not funny. Beware of STD'S and use a condom when with her. You have a sad excuse for a marriage and this is a word to the wise.
2006-09-17 05:57:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fact that you have an uneasy feeling about the situation already tells you that you should at least TALK to your wife about this. You know your relationship better than anyone else on line, so go with your feeling and tell your wife about it. You are her husband and she should value your concern. At least it says you still care about your relationship. Lets put it this way, if you were not concerned what would that be saying to her?
2006-09-17 05:50:05 · answer #9 · answered by CNKCKFIL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not good. It is common courtesy no matter how old or what your marital status is to let people know you are safe. I say to follow your instincts always and let her know exactly how you feel. It may get ugly but you need to set down boundaries if you want to make this work. As far as your funny feeling. I dont like that she didnt call you for a ride. You need to get off the computer and confront her. Hope this helps!!
2006-09-17 05:50:07 · answer #10 · answered by Sophia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes make an issue out of this, can you imagine if the shoe was on the other foot would she be so quick as to dismiss it. . . .I don't f*****g think so. No one has the right to do that so get her told that its completely unacceptable. Also mention that you were worried and stuff just to make her feel guilty.
2006-09-17 05:50:25 · answer #11 · answered by slayerific 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋