They need love, clothing, food and all my time. I don't have the money to provide all there needs. I'm so hurt I don't know if I'm giving them the love they need. I'm trying to go to school and work, But I'm starting to feel like giving up on everything, help me?
2006-09-17 05:41:59 · 20 answers · asked by Reality 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
See a lawyer, if you haven't already. Your husband is responsible for part of the support of those children even in a separation. Unfortunately, situations like this are major life changes, and require a totally new way of thinking. There are certain hard realities that you and your children will have to face. Most likely, you will not be able to go to school, work, and take care of your kids, all at the same time. Can it be done? Certainly, but it takes a special kind of dedicated person to do it, and you will have to determine for yourself whether you are that type of person or not. Most likely you will need to put something on hold, probably school, while you provide for the financial and emotional support for your children.
Are you a religious person? Do you have access to counseling services through the ministry, or perhaps through your school? Seek out a professional person to help you through this time. Friends can be helpful, too, but often they cannot see things any more objectively than you can.
Are the grandparents around? Can they, or friends, help with childcare? Are your kids old enough to help? Perhaps now is the time to make sure that the kids are included in your plans and are expected to contribute to maintaining the household, at least as much as they can.
You may need some "head space" - some time alone - to try to sort things out in your mind. Don't feel guilty about this, but don't spend all your time there. When you decided to become a mother, you made a commitment to raise your kids. Despite the fact that your husband may have left, you still have that obligation. If you honestly feel that you will not be able to raise them, then you may have to make the tough decision to look into foster care or adoption, though I would imagine this would be a last choice.
In the end, this will be an experience that you can use to grow, or you can use to sink into self-pity. It's your choice.
I can’t help beyond what I have said here.
2006-09-17 06:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by oldthumbs 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should provide the kids with child support. They needed the help you can get from him to help you out. Talk to your lawyer hopefully he can help you. You are doing the right thing just do not give up on yourself or the kids. I admire those women that is able to sustain themselves and takingcare of their kids at the same time. Just have confidence in yourself.
It is hard on you too that even you have not the time to mourn on your feelings about what happenned to your marriage, but you have children that needed you more than yourself. You will be alright. Give the best you can to your kids. They needed you now more than ever. You can do it and goodluck.
2006-09-17 06:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by leyte6519 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling right now. It all sounds so terrible. Take him to court and get more money for your kids. Is your husband paying child support or giving you any help financially? He should also be coming and getting them so he can spend time with them. That will give you a much needed break.
Hope everything works out.
2006-09-17 06:07:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alimony and Child Support. You're the victim. You're used to a certain lifestyle, and he's taken that from you. You should get a job. If you need help, go to the state for support, but only if you need help. Don't give up. Right now you are the only example of a parent for your children. If you give up, what kind of example are you setting for them? This happens everyday. You're not the only woman...
Get your thoughts together, get off the computer and get a job and get on with life. He's a loser, so make sure you get an excellent attorney..
2006-09-17 05:46:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can try legal aid or you can try dcss to get the ball rolling for child support and temporary spousal support Im sorry you are hurting but if you know that you are doing the best that you can for your kids then give yourself a break all you can do is the best you can for them and im sure they feel that you are a good mother to them dont be so hard on yourself you will get through this because you are alot stronger than you think
2006-09-17 09:59:30 · answer #5 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont give up, Im a single father of two little girls. I make a decent paycheck but its nothing compared to the two incomes from before. Im raising my children and they love and respect me (they are 6 & 7 yrs old). Ive hit hard times financially and just kept goin', get some free legal advice (Department of Human Services can help you with a lawyer for child support).
2006-09-17 05:52:00 · answer #6 · answered by Bones 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to divorce court and ask for child support from your ex. In the meantime, get a job to pay bills, use your free time to show your kids the love and time they need. There are lots of single parents who go to school and work and still have time for the kids. If it was impossible no one would be doing it.
2006-09-17 05:44:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the State for help. it isnt charity or sponging. Its times like this is what it is supposed to be for. They can provide medical, food stamps and cash aid. They will also force your husband to pay child support if he isnt giving any.
You are going to school. Dont quit if at all possible.
2006-09-17 05:45:14 · answer #8 · answered by JC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you have someone you can talk to, that would help. If not, their are organizations out their that can help you. Welfare might be below your dignity, but they will really help. The next step is to go to the police, and tell them that you, and your husband have separated, and he won't help you financially take care of your children. The police will help you find the right people to talk to, and these people can help you,and the children.
2006-09-17 05:50:04 · answer #9 · answered by lariat_sonata 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what I am reading you do not complain about child support so you must be receiving it
I seems like you dont like the idea of not being able to live the lifestyle you had-- that is life--get a job!!
There is public assistance if you fall within the guidelines (very little)
2006-09-17 05:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by funseeker 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋