close friend was killed yesterday by a drunk driver. He was my boyfriends favorite cousin. I had gotten to know him very well and he was a great person. I am distraught with grief. I have never experienced a loss of a close friend. To make it worse my boyfriend has experienced many of these kinds of situations his older brother, the recently deceased cousins' older brother, another cousin, and also pretty recently his grandfather. You can imagine how he must feel and I feel like I cannot do anything to help him. Let me complicate this further, also yesterday, another one of his cousins was in a quad accident and is in a coma. All of the cousins he grew up with are now either deceased or hospitalized. His aunts/uncles/parents are distraught with all the losses in the family. What kind of things can I do to help him through this? And how can I deal with this so that I feel okay too.
2006-09-17 05:34:18 · 6 answers · asked by PHD-NDN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I am not worried about insurance or money that is the last thing I needed to hear in a response. So sorry, let me explain my question better; how can I feel better about this and help my boyfriend and his family feel better. I know I cannot change anything but to make this mourning process easier. Unfortunately, I am not a religious person so praying and thinking god has his reasons for taking his life away will not be comforting to me.
2006-09-17 05:58:12 · update #1
Just be there for him and when he cries just hold him. I cant imagine his loss. my deepest sympathies.
Do for him has you would want him to do for you...
2006-09-17 05:42:23 · answer #1 · answered by bluedanube69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I look at the death of a relative or close friend as a re-birth.
I am a single mother of a teenage daughter and I can tell you how elated I was when she was born.
God must feel the same way when his children are reborn to him.
Just be there with an open ear, and a strong shoulder. Sometimes just being there is enough for the other person, support goes a long way.
2006-09-17 05:44:28 · answer #2 · answered by makemesic3569 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. You know, without telling you to lean on your religious values, I would say this: you need to simply be a living source of serenity in a troubled time. You can not live through other people's grief for them. That is a journey each of us must make alone. But you can be a center of calm, peace and quiet hope for everyone you meet. This will not only keep you at peace during this time, but be a real help to others. So get very intentional now. Focus on how each choice you make can be done in a thoughtful and calm way. How you talk to people. How you move through your day. How you dress and even eat your meals. In a word, mindfulness. Be mindful of every activity as you do it and you will slowly start to feel in control and calm. Life is just as a series of tiny choices. make them in peace and peace will radiate from you.
2006-09-17 05:41:32 · answer #3 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to be open for him, tell him whenever he is ready you are there for him no matter what it is. from cooking, helping with chores, shopping any thing he might not think of doing or can't seem to do because of the mental stress he is going through. there is not any thing spcific you can do for him. let him tell you. Give him space but don't go too far.
2006-09-17 05:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by foxxxy_pink_mama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope they all have both life insurance and accident insurance policies. It seems that they need some fund for their last expenses. Tell him people are sick & die everyday....don't know when it's our turn. It is cycle of life and we have to accept that. Please pass my condolence to him...thank you.
2006-09-17 05:47:35 · answer #5 · answered by pimpa1949 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that his family is in your prayers and thoughts and continue to be supportive of him and let him know that you are there for him I too will keep you in my prayers
HUGS
2006-09-17 05:36:44 · answer #6 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋