We are getting married in a couple months and his mother thinks I should include his ex-wife.Well me and the ex don't get along at all I have included his daughters which are old enough to be there withouth their mother. His mother thinks I should include is ex in everything that we do.He don't even talk to his ex. His daughter our maid of honors why should I have to include thier mother?
2006-09-17 05:09:20 · 18 answers · asked by shortcakes_maple 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your right its my day and I'm going to do what I want we are paying for everything ourselves and if his mother don't like it she can stay home that day too.
2006-09-17 05:19:11 · update #1
lol first of all "DONT U DARE INCLUDE THE EX" lol that is the most hysterical thing ive ever heard "especially" if their are ill feeling between the new wife and the x wife.. hell id tell her to go renew her vows or marry someone else if she wants to invite her sons x to a wedding but its not happening at urs lol.. Im wondering where her son is in all of this doesnt he have a say in who comes or not to his wedding and i cant imagine that he'd want his x there.. although because of the kids u will always have the x in your lives.. that doesnt mean she has to be in your "Personal" lives..U, ur husband and his children make your own family now, she (the x ) is now a 3rd wheel in that family.. she doesnt belong and unless u put ur foot down an draw the lines of where she is welcome and not welcome in your lives this is going to be an on going occurance that could very well be the demise of your marriage.. my parents are divorced, and my father was remarried, and my dad had custody of us kids, and although my father was extremely civil with our mother, she was not allowed in our house ever, as far as bday parties, graduation parties ect.. my mom had one for us, and my father had one for us.. and she was always invited to school functions and sport functions ect.. anything that was on nuetral ground they were both at.. but she was not allowed to invade our "home" nor did my father try to invade "her " home.. it was a mutal respect of each others privacy and time with the kids .. and it worked.. and we as kids didnt suffer we thought it was great cause we got 2 of everything lol
But i will tell you.. my mom hated my step mother, when my dad got married to my step mother we were their bridal party as well..and my mom found out where the wedding was going to be held at ect..(she wasnt invited) she showed up wearing white , now i was 6 at the time almost 7 i was excited about my part in the wedding .. and excited about the wedding in general.... when i
saw my mom in the back of the church, is when it dawned on me that my mom and my dad will never be married again.. and i cried through most of the cermony, so i think her being at the ceremony is a very bad idea..
2006-09-17 05:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT THA???? Ummm no I don't think so mom...She is an ex not his wife. This is a day for you and your soon to be husband...there is no reason his EX WIFE should even be sitting in the parking lot of your wedding. His children should be involved but this ex needs to figure out that she is his ex and needs to go on with her life...Sorry you have to deal with that...but put your foot down and let that mother Know your here to stay and the ex has to go and stand in the ex's place which is nowhere close to you...
2006-09-17 05:36:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His mother sounds freaking nuts to me. I hope you and your fiancee have a strong relationship because this biddy is going to be trouble. It sounds as if you do have a strong enough relationship.
The best thing would be to leave out the mother and the ex, but then I guess that is not realistic.
Your fiancee needs to tell his mother NO. You do not need to get involved.
The best of luck to you and your fiancee. Don't let someone else ruin your wedding.
2006-09-17 05:13:33 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your future mother-in-law if it is her day or your day. Inviting an ex is up to the couple getting married, not their parents.
It sounds to me that you future in-law is going to be trouble. It seems like she may like to butt into everything and perhaps even control her sons life.
You may have to put your foot down if you will have any peace. Better yet if your future hubby put his foot down too. Otherwise there may be many wars ahead.
What was the relationship like between his ex (while they were married) and his mother. However his mother treated his ex while she was his wife is probably pretty much what you should expect to be treated like by his mother.
2006-09-17 06:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by Willow S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you said is absolutely right. His mother is being too much to want you to included the ex at your wedding. It's your wedding, don't allow the mother to dictate what you should do or not do. If she gets her way this will set the precedent for the rest of your life.....ie you listening to what she says.Don't do it. I support you fully.
2006-09-17 05:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. You are taking the ex's place in your fiancee's life. He should be the one to tell his mother to back off. The ex is just that the EX.
2006-09-17 05:12:54 · answer #6 · answered by pleeks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is absurd for her to think the ex should participate in your wedding. You've included his children and that's a good thing but absolutely not the ex.
2006-09-17 05:37:15 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh. It's YOUR wedding. You should NOT invite or include his ex. What does your fiance think about it? If you are not friends with her, then she should not be there. No drama at your wedding. You should be able to have fun, be relaxed-it's YOUR day. It's all about you. Forget the ex!
2006-09-17 05:11:34 · answer #8 · answered by lil_angel64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I think you either:
A) tell your mother-in-law politely but firmly that you aren't backing down.
B) Get your Fiance to speak to his mother
C) You get the Fiance to call his ex and say that he doesn't want her to be there.
D) Accept that she may be there and decide not to let it bother you, after all he is marrying you.
Up to you which you go for, but I'd be tempted to go with D and concentrate on enjoying my day.
2006-09-17 05:12:45 · answer #9 · answered by stepfordswiss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you f**king kidding me? Oh my God, there is no way I would ask a girl to let me do that, for fear of getting a frying pan upside the head. I hope you're not letting her pay for your wedding (that's when they become control freaks and try to make all the important decisions without you).
2006-09-17 05:12:39 · answer #10 · answered by I Know Nuttin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋