Taking child abroad while spouse doesn't agree...?

Question

Hi,
I live in California and planning to visit my parents for 3 weeks who live in other country. I wanna take my 2.5 year daughter with me because she hasn't met her grandparents even once. My child is very self sufficient and requires very little assistance from my wife as well as from me.
My marriage is not going well but we haven't filed for divorce(we still live together) and my wife is making this as her ego issue. She says that she won't allow the kid to go there. She is even not agreeing to sign the parent consent form.
My parents are so eager to meet their granddaughter because they have never met her and they can't visit US because of their health problems(long journey).
What are my options ? Should I just take my child without worrying about my wife consent ? Please help.

Thanks a lot,

Few people asked why don't we all go as a family to meet my parents - well, yes, have already asked this to my wife three times but she doesn't agree...She says that she doesn't have enough vacatons at work while I know for sure that her vacatons are maxing out.

I don't think that my wife thinks that I won't bring her back because I have a good job here in California as well as we own home. From her answers of not allowing the child to go with me, it seems that she is making her ego point(her answer is - if I am not going so my kid will not go too!!!!!)

Answer 1

Actually, I think it might be what you both need...some space between you. It might help with some healing in your marriage. I think maybe your wife is feeling a little insecure and afraid that maybe you wont bring her back.....not sure.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, you cannot take your child out of the country without your parents' permission. Although grandparents do have certain rights, with respect to their grandchildren, I'm not sure if this is the right time to press the issue. If your marriage isn't going well, perhaps you should consider postponing your trip until you work things out with your wife. It's unfortunate not to see a grandchild, but also your child is only 2.5 years old - I'm not sure its such a good idea to take such a young child on a long journey like that. It would be better if you took her on an airplane when she is a little older.

My understanding is that when one parent wants to take a child abroad, they need a written note from the other parent. If you take the child without your wife's permission, it could constitute kidnapping. You surely don't want something like that to come up, should the situation lead to divorce and a custody battle. Also, I don't think you should go by yourself to travel abroad for almost a month. Your wife may use it against you later on, saying that you abandoned her and your daughter. I'm sure if you explained the situation to your parents, they would understand.

Answer 3

You need to go to the Court where your divorce papers are pending. There is probably already an order stating that you cannot take the child out of Country. You need to request an ex parte hearing which means you provide Wife, or her attorney, with 24 notice, call her and tell her you are going to Court the next day to request permission to take the child out the Country. This has to be done by 10:00 a.m. the morning before you appear ex parte. By 12:00 p.m. that day you have to call the Court and request they pull the file for the next day. By doing this, you can go before the Judge and explain that your mother is too ill to travel and it is very important to you that your daughter meet her grandmother. Ex partes are for emergencies only so if you have a lot of time to before you trip, you should just file an Order to Show Cause. Call the Court and speak to the Facilitator's Office. They can help with the necessary paperwork and tell you about any local rules that may apply. Good luck.

Answer 4

As bad as this may sound, DO NOT take your child out of this country without your spouses consent or you could be charged with federal kidnapping, especially with everyone now knowing your marriage status. I dont think you want the police showing up at your parents and leaving in handcuffs. I understand your situation but the law is what it is and you dont need to make anything worse. Your spouse probably sees it as if you were to take your child out of this country and then file for divorce from there, shell never see her child again. Make sense? Your best bet is to somehow work out a deal with her to sign the consent form. Good luck

Answer 5

DO NOT take that child out of the country without her permission! My parents divorced before I was born, and I never met my father(didn't want to). My mother and I tried to fly to Mexico for vacation when I was 17 and got sent back home. You have to have that consent form or a divorce decree or a death certificate for her mom or they won't let you fly. If you do get past, your wife can call the police, and when you return, guess who goes to jail for kidnapping.

Answer 6

I think you can be arrested if you do that. That is why we have a law. It would be too easy for you not to bring the child back to her Mother and the Mother is right not to let her go. The Mother has more rights than the grandparents. If I was that Mother I would never leave you alone with the child and I would file for divorce immediately

Answer 7

I think it may be time to speak to a divorce attorney. Do you want to stay in a marriage where one partner appears to be a control freak? I can understand your need to have your parents meet their grandchild. The sad part is that you are in quite a messy situatuation and your wife seems to be using this poor child as a pawn.

Answer 8

No, I would definitely NOT take the child without her consent. But, the baby by all means should meet her grandparents. Why can't you all go together as a family?

Answer 9

if you leave the country w/o her consent you will run the risk of her saying you tried to kidnap the child and then you will go to jail till it is settled..i would talk to a councelor and see what the recommend. if you seek legal advise that may start a ball rolling that you dont want or arent ready for like divorce..see if your parents cant come this way to see you, they can stay with you and meet their grand child this way.

Answer 10

first of all a 2.5 yr. old is not self sufficient....You should get your wife consent even though you are not divorce...if the situation was reverse...you would want her to ask you for the OK...so don't play the sympathy card here..check with an attorney for your legal rights.