She has asked me to stop. Her dad drinks a lot and she always compares me to him whenever i drink alcohol. Her dad drinks everyday but he is a great guy, and not alcoholic.
I understand her concern but I enjoy drinking. Drink around 10 pints a week (beer). I am 23, Accountant.
I do love her but now i have started to feel bit controlled and guilty (when drinking) at the same time. What do i do?
2006-09-17 02:52:23 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you really love her, you will stop. Her father must be an alcoholic and have done some crazy things while your fiancee was going up. She is afraid that you will be like her father. They say if your father was an alcoholic must likely you will marry one. She has seen what her mother has went through and she is just afraid. He maybe great around you, but if you have to drink everyday then you are addicted and that makes you an alcoholic. If you can't relax without alcohol what do you have your fiancee for she is suppose to make you calm and relaxed just by spending time with her. Drinking will mess up your liver. Don't fault her for the way she feels. She has a very valid opinion and she shouldn't be ignored.
2006-09-17 03:01:08 · answer #1 · answered by Tyler&Noah's mommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd maybe try to come to some kind of compromise. I'm sure there's something about her that irritates you, so come to an agreement to at least cut back a little. If you like drinking and don't want to stop, maybe just don't drink as much. As long as you're not an angry, violent, belligerent drunk, then I don't see the problem in drinking. I'd also remind her that you don't like being compared to her father all the time. How would she feel if you compared her to your mother? Or sister? Good luck.
J
2006-09-17 09:59:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1-2 drinks a day depending on body size isn't a problem, especially beer or wine as distinct from liquor. The problem is that you guys have to learn how to neotiate important issues, which is the same problem every couple has. So there isn't any real objective answer, neither of you is "right", you just have to learn how to balance competing demands. Just try to remember to keep a sense of proportion about things; whichever way you decide is not the end of the world, nor is every decision set in stone forever.
2006-09-17 10:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by gzuckier 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am kinda in the same boat with my fiancee right now. He wants me to stop drinking too because my family has a past of alcoholisim. Try drinking a little less, there is no reason that you cannot drink. Make sure you are being sensitive to her feelings and take into consideration that she cares about you. Good Luck!!
2006-09-17 10:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a recovering Alcoholic , 5 years sober and if you feel guilty about drinking there is a possibility you have a problem , normal people don't think about drinking like that .
She could be the best thing that has happened to you .
Think very hard about it and if you pick booze over her ......
GO GET HELP !!!
2006-09-17 10:08:49 · answer #5 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her dad drinks more than 2 drinks a day, he is an alcoholic. Obviously his drinking has had a negative impact on her and possibly other family members.
If you don't want to quit drinking, find another girlfriend. No sense in you feeling guilty or her feeling like a nag. You will be happier without each other.
2006-09-17 10:03:20 · answer #6 · answered by lollipop 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Small differences now make for big differences later. Decide which road you want to follow. You have a choice. I have never ever seen any benefits from drinking even moderately.
2006-09-17 10:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by normy in garden city 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you might not abuse alcohol, she might feel like you do. I would suggest pre marital counseling because this is obviously i big issue to her, it could create massive problems down the road. It sounds like she has had family problems with alcohol before, so she is scared for it to happen again.
2006-09-17 09:56:48 · answer #8 · answered by Dre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know her father is not an alcoholic, just because he doesn't go to meetings doesn;t mean he isn't. Remember, if it causes a problem, then it IS a problem. Why do you drink? habit, to relieve stress, to escape, you had better take a good look at yourself before you do have a real problem
2006-09-17 09:56:50 · answer #9 · answered by texasguy11656 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I went through a similar issue. I asked him to stop doing one of his innocuous habits because it reminded me of an abusive exboyfriend. He laughed and said, "Give it up, babe. I'm not him and I don't deserve to be fined for his crimes." It irritated me at the time, but over the years, I've come to realize how right he was. He SHOULDN"T have to pay for someone else's mistakes and you shouldn't either. If he had given in and granted my request, he would have given credibility to my asinine insecurity instead of diminishing it.
2006-09-17 10:03:35 · answer #10 · answered by SayWhat? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋