my b-day was 9/11 okay but he did not send a gift he told me it was in the mail havent got it yet he's done this for the past three years im really about to cut him off because he doesnt call i just sometimes feel unloved and i am really tired of showing hom i care so plz help me out
2006-09-16 23:41:57 · 13 answers · asked by curious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Happy Belated Birthday.
You should do what you need to do. If you feel you need to cut off contact with him, then that is what you should do. It's not about you it's about him being a deadbeat. You're not unlovable. He's the one with the problem. He feels guilty so he's avoiding you.
2006-09-17 01:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sons are dealing withthe same things,
after the D I brouth a home a few years later he brough home about 4 block aways from my home his excuse was so he can be nearer to the children well the children will spent 3 months not a call or a visit
I can go on and on about thing he does to the children
but when I talk to them tey seems to not care anymore
I know they miss having him around but he doesn't want to be around that his lost my children have not received not a call , Bday,or Christmast gift from him for years, but he still want to show them off whenever his parents come aorund which is a yearly things
this year my children stand up and say no to his family reunion
What I am trying to say is beleive it or not we all need our parents
but at the end of the day they need us as much
I don't know how old you are but I would advise you to concentrate in having the best realationship you can with the parent that is there for you (your mother) make that relationship stronger don't concentrate in having a one sided relationship with someone that can not see what a blessing you are
My 14 year old told me that he was reading (he wants tobe a doc) and read about sperm donors and that what he think he father was i think that kind make closure for him
he has not spoken with him since june 13 2006
maybe it is time you think of the same thing
Don't feel unlove because you have Love from your mom
and probably form many
nothing is wrong with you he has a problem
Just accept it (it will be hard) but for your sake concentrate on you and Love your self
2006-09-17 01:03:27 · answer #2 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I am very close to your situation in that I have a daughter who I am not the birth father of.Let me explain . I dated her mom when she was just 1 1/2 and have stayed in her life ever since even though her mom and I split when she was 3, she is now 14.
Her Dad is the same , he always promises and never delivers but you know, I know he loves her , I hate him for hurting her but I have to accept that he doesn't know any better or has issues and have always encouraged her to feel sorry for him because it is his lose .Not to pity him but to realize that for whatever reason he is not mature or capable enough to handle the responsibility and it is no way a reflection of you. It no way is a reflection of your worth but an emotional problem he has.If you need to make space between you both maybe you should . If you are upset too much that is not healthy , only you know if it will be easier but always know you are a good person . Don't do it because you are bitter or to punish him, do it when you feel confident and feel that you would be better off not setting yourself up .
2006-09-17 00:02:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off let me say HAPPY BIRTHDAY. My daughter's birthday was 9/11 also. My children (ages 17 and 15) are in the same situation as you. They have been dealing with a "deadbeat" dad for 12 years now. You have to get to the point where you either accept what he does give you even if that is one phone call a month or cut him off all together. It is not an easy decision. My children felt the same way. Luckily for them my husband (their step-dad) has picked up the slack and is a wonderful father figure to them both. I took my children to counseling and it seemed to really help them a lot maybe it would work for you as well. Good luck and God bless.
2006-09-17 01:10:31 · answer #4 · answered by kelsey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, mine divorced when I was 13 (bro 1yr younger, sister was 6), we went with mum to start, later we decided to go to dad's but mum kept my sister. Eventually ended up with mum again for a while, then towards the end of high school was with dad. If I had a choice now to do it again I would probably have stayed with dad - he was more easy going, better to talk to, and really concerned about what happened with us. Probably just think about who you feel more comfortable with/talking to, less likely to fight with etc. GOOD LUCK!
2016-03-17 22:06:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, my dad was a dead beat too. i think the thing you need to realize and accept is that he may never change. your parents are probably divorced for that very reason - and i assure you it's for the best. sometimes you have let certain people go in your life. focus on the people who do care about you! they will make your life a lot happier. surround yourself with people who are going to be there for you no matter what!
2006-09-16 23:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a mother and was divorced, my daughters only heard from their father on birthdays and Christmas. Of course he made very good money, but didn't have to pay much child support thanks to our court system. I worked hard for very little, and naturally their best gifts came from him and his new wife. My daughters are grown now, and only think of him as someone who sends them needed money. If he died tomarrow they said it would seem as though they only lost a distant relative. I feel it is his loss to lose their love. He could have seen them whenever he wanted, he just didn't want to. When you grow up and have your own, use this as a lesson on how to treat your own children. With lots and lots of love. You'll get it back and it will make up for what you are lacking now.
2006-09-16 23:50:30 · answer #7 · answered by Fruit Cake Lady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are working, it's time you send him gifts, not vice versa. He has brought you up and given you an education. His giving should stop here. Time for you to give him back, show your filial piety/gratitude. Stop expecting anything from your dad.
2006-09-17 06:11:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happy Birthday (belated) to you! Do what makes you feel good inside. Cant help how others do, just do what you feel is good n proper. Send yourself a birthday card from yourself!
2006-09-16 23:47:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your situation stinks. Feel your pain. You will need to find other loving relationships in your life...which are out there. His avoidance of you has nothing to do with you.
2006-09-17 00:21:50 · answer #10 · answered by Rod 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋